Reel Helpless

In two years of feising, there are certain phrases that I as an Irish Dance father have learned to dread on competition day. I have decided to post them as a community service so that other feis parents won't be surprised when they hear them coming from their children, feis committeepeople -- or themselves.

8. "Daddy, I can tie my own shoes." (most dreadful coming from a 6-year old)
7. The feis committeeperson snaps back at you, "Sir, we have everything under control here."
6. "Daddy, you just gotta come and see this solo dress for sale!"
5. The line at the food vendor is an hour long. Your daughter, two competitions away from checking in for her next dance, turns to you and says, "Daddy, I'm hungry."
4. One competition from checking in, you daughter whines, "Daddy, I just spilled my drink over my <<insert hideously-expensive article of clothing you can least afford to replace on no notice here>>"
3. As your daughter checks in for her Slip Jig, your wife screams over the radio that her Treble Jig on the other side of the feis site has just started checking in
2. Your daughter turns to you as you're attempting to get her checked into her competition and says, "Daddy, I gotta go potty."

And the thing Irish Dance fathers dread to hear most at a feis is:

1. "Daddy, my hard shoes are too tight."