(Time)
Daddy's roommate is a congenial children's book about a boy in a
not-so- unusual position: his parents have divorced. The rest of his
story is a bit more unconventional. His father is living with a new
companion named Frank. Kids who turn the pages will learn that the
two men live together. They ''work together,'' the text explains.
They ''eat together.'' And one other thing. They ''sleep together.''
The text and pictures in Daddy's Roommate may give off a warm
glow, but glowing books can light fuses. The book is on the
recommended reading list of a new first-grade curriculum in New York
City -- sort of a gay companion to Jack and Jill. And that has led to
a bitter fight about when and how to teach children about
homosexuality, a question that schools all around the country have
begun -- very cautiously -- to confront.
Developed to foster respect for all races, ethnic groups and
religions, the New York City teachers' guide called ''Children of the
Rainbow'' is mostly unexceptional. It suggests presenting folklore
through Chinese tales; or, for music class, the Mexican hat dance.
But in a segment on the importance of families, it reminds teachers
that some of their pupils may come from households in which one or
both adults are gay. And its original wording urged teachers to
encourage first-graders ''to view lesbians/gays as real people to be
respected and appreciated.'' Among proposed -- but not required --
readings, the guide suggests Daddy's Roommate, along with Heather Has
Two Mommies and Gloria Goes to Gay Pride.
When more than half the city's 32 local boards balked at
introducing first- graders to the notion of same-sex couples,
chancellor Joseph Fernandez agreed that they could hold off until the
fifth or sixth grade. But the board of District 24, in the largely
blue-collar borough of Queens, refused that offer. Board president
Mary Cummins labeled portions of the guide ''dangerously misleading
homosexual/lesbian propaganda.'' Even after Fernandez softened the
guidelines concerning homosexuality, District 24 board members
refused to meet with him. Last week the exasperated chancellor
suspended them. In their place he appointed trustees who will now
meet with parent groups to try to adopt a compromise curriculum. ''It
is very important,'' he insists, ''that children learn early on that
there are different family structures out there than the traditional
one.''
While New York appears to be unique so far in attempting to raise
the subject with first-graders, schools all over the country are
discovering reasons to consider teaching about homosexuality at some
grade level. In AIDS- awareness programs, pupils have been putting
teachers on the spot with questions about gay life generally. Some
teenagers are coming to the realization, usually an uncomfortable
one, that they are gay themselves. And with gay-bashing assaults on
the rise among adolescents, school administrators interested in
curbing bigotry are trying to teach kids the meaning of the word
homophobia.
Though a few states, including California and Massachusetts, are
thinking about statewide guidelines on how to discuss homosexuality
in the classroom, most of the change is taking place at the city or
county level. After a 1989 federal study showed that one-third of
adolescents who kill themselves are young people struggling with
their sexual orientation, school officials in Virginia's Fairfax
County decided to expand their wide-ranging family-life education
program. ''We had a moral obligation to combat a devastating trend,''
says Gerald Newberry, coordinator of the county's family-life
education programs. ''We needed to communicate to our kids that
people are different, and that we don't choose our sexual feelings
-- they choose us.''
Now Fairfax ninth-graders see a video called What If I'm Gay?
Originally broadcast on network TV, it concerns three teenage boys
who are friends, including one who is struggling to come to terms
with his homosexuality. For , homework, students are encouraged to
ask their parents what they would say if one of their children had a
gay friend. In the human-sexuality course he teaches in Alexandria,
Virginia, Larry Gaudreault concentrates on the accumulating evidence
that sexual orientation may be in some measure biologically
determined rather than a freely chosen ''life-style.'' ''We try to
dispel the myth that homosexuality develops later in life as a result
of one's environment,'' he says.
Fairfax permits parents to have their children excused from
classes in which homosexuality is discussed, an option that school
officials say only about 1.5% of parents exercise. Wayne Steward, 17,
a gay senior, is convinced that such programs work toward eliminating
prejudice. ''When students don't understand what differences there
may be ((among people)),'' he says, ''they can let fear cloud their
judgment.''
In Seattle this year, the public health curriculum will include
for the first time a two-lesson segment for juniors and seniors on
sexual orientation. In lower grades, teachers and administrators are
being trained to take seriously any incidents of antigay graffiti and
name calling. ''School buildings are not automatically going to be
safe and comfortable places for kids unless adults take an active
role in making them that way,'' says Pamela Hillard, coordinator for
sexuality and HIV education for the Seattle public schools.
In the future the notion of the gay-positive classroom may go
further, to examine the contributions that gay men and women have
made. Arthur Lipkin, a Harvard University research associate, is
developing a curriculum to help high school teachers incorporate
information about gays into history, literature and psychology
lessons. A series of lessons dealing with the history of gays over
two centuries was recently tested among 10th-to-12th-grade
social-studies classes in Cambridge, Massachusetts. ''The kids were
riveted by the subject matter,'' reports Lipkin, ''because they don't
ordinarily see it discussed as a serious academic subject.''
It might not be controversial for high school seniors to consider
whether Tennessee Williams' sexuality fueled the outsider lyricism of
A Streetcar Named Desire. But telling six-year-olds, however gently,
that some other six- year-olds have two mommies is still a red flag
in many households with just one. Some parents involved in the New
York City controversy fear that exposure to the subject might
predispose young children toward homosexuality. Others simply don't
want to teach their kids that gay couples are acceptable. ''We're
asked to park our values about life-style at the door,'' complains
Joanne Gough, a nurse and mother of three children. And a lot of
parents are wary of raising premature questions about sexuality in
any form. ''A six-year-old child cannot understand homosexuality,''
says Louise Phillips, a New York City attorney who is the mother of
two school-age youngsters. ''Every parent I spoke with said their
six-year-old cannot understand the nature of adult heterosexuality.''
When is it too soon to open discussion about differences in sexual
orientation? ''As early as kindergarten, such things as appreciating
differences and respecting all people can be taught,'' insists Dr.
Virginia Uribe, founder of the Los Angeles school district's Project
10, which uses counseling and support to discourage lesbian and gay
teens from dropping out. ''And as kids get older, teachers should be
prepared to respond to the questions they have. Kids don't have any
big prejudices to start out with. They learn those things.''
That kind of controversy is one reason that most schools are still
wary about dealing with the issue at any grade level. Project 21, a
San Francisco- based organization that favors teaching about gay and
lesbian issues, mailed out questionnaires asking 35 Midwestern school
districts what assistance they provide for gay students. Only 10
responded. ''Most districts want to avoid the whole topic,'' says
Robert Birle, the organization's Midwestern-states coordinator. ''But
if schools get beyond looking at gay youth as the problem and look at
the homophobic atmosphere instead, we'll get some positive results.''
In New York some gay students have been so badly harassed that the
city supports a separate minischool for gay teens who might otherwise
drop out. ''Gay and lesbian issues need to be raised in the schools
because of what we see in our work,'' says Frances Kunreuther,
executive director of the Hetrick-Martin Institute, a nonprofit
organization that operates the 35- student school under city
auspices. ''The amount of violence gay kids face, the harassment, the
rejection by their families.'' The angry and sometimes distorted
debate over the Children of the Rainbow curriculum in New York, she
says, ''is really a great example of why we need the curriculum.''
And a fair example too of why
it won't be easy to get one.
RICHARD LACAYO With reporting
by Ann Blackman/Washington, Sylvester Monroe/Los Angeles and Elizabeth
Rudulph/New York, EDUCATION: Jack and Jack and Jill and Jill In the quest
to instill tolerance, schools are increasingly instructing children about
homosexuality. What should they be taught -- and when?. , Time, 12-14-1992,
pp 52.