HEARTS AND DIAMONDS
CAST:
Sheriff Bill Gillespie
Harriet DeLong-Gillespie
Hampton Forbes
Virgil Tibbs
Allison Campras
Jhourdhaun Ajoulais-Gillespie
Bubba Skinner
Lonnie Jamison
Angela Banham
Lana Farren Gillespie
Hayley Banham
DeLaine Ajoulais
Keele Zimmer
Heathcliff Clifton
SECONDARY CAST:
Parker
LuAnn
Dee
Bobby Gillespie
Eric DeLong
Tully
Garrett
Genna Highbridge
Stellas Costas
Reese Banham-Scott
Terry Scott
Minister
ACT ONE, SCENE ONE
SETTING: A church. Wedding preparations are being made. A large group of people are gathered together doing various jobs.
GILLESPIE: (Watching Harriet very closely as she helps him hang a valance) I told you I would love, honour and cherish, but I don't recall ever vowing to help your family with their weddings and such.
HARRIET: (Laughing) I know. But of course you just love me so much that you would do anything for me, including helping me make this wedding very special for Angela.
GILLESPIE: (Uncomfortable) Yes, well. (Seeing his goddaughter) Allison, could you hand me some of those bells?
ALLISON: Sure thing! (Grabbing a couple and walking over) Bet you didn't think this was how you were going to spend your Friday night? (Handing the bells to him) I know it certainly wasn't how I envisioned mine.
HARRIET: Will you two grouses stop! I think it's wonderful that Angela wanted us to be a part of this.
ALLISON: I have no problem with being a part of her wedding, remember, I'm a bridesmaid. But, when the person involved has more money than some of the OPEC countries and she wants my help to do something that any number of caterers and wedding consultants would kill their own mothers to do, then I draw the line.
HARRIET: (Seeing Angela coming towards them) Shush, now, here she comes. (Beat) Hello, Angela. How are you holding up?
ANGELA: (Looking frantic) Reese isn't back; the cake isn't doing what I want; four of my junior bridesmaids and groomsmen have mono and their parents are suspecting the first wedding rehearsal; the church leaked during the last storm and they're not sure if the last few pews are going to be dry in time for the ceremony; no one knows where Jhourdhaun or Bubba are and we desperately need them here; and, my future husband has no idea who I am thanks to the shot-up leg given to him by a very considerate felon and to the high power drugs given to him by an equally considerate doctor.
HARRIET: (Coming down the ladder) Yes, Dear Heart, but other than that, how are you doing?
ANGELA: (Beaming) Happily nervous. (Looking around) I can't believe that this is actually coming together. I am completely in awe that I'm getting married tomorrow night.
HAYLEY: (Walking up and putting his arm around Harriet) So am I! I would have laid odds no one would have been able to put up with you for a week let alone a lifetime.
HARRIET: (Looking at him) Hayley!
HAYLEY: Well, it's true. (Pausing) You're lucky you didn't have to deal with her sisterly affection until recently. I had to grow up with it and I know I've been scarred.
ANGELA: (Punching him in the arm) It wasn't that bad!
HAYLEY: Only because you were the one forcing me to model your new wardrobes to your snooty friends. (Flipping his longer hair) It's no wonder I'm considered to be such a deviant.
HARRIET: (Speaking straight faced to Angela) He's right, you know. (Pushing ahead at Angela's look of surprise) Yes, he is. (Pausing) Didn't you know they've traced silk stocking use in men to early childhood experiences.
Everyone laughs as Hayley looks put out.
HAYLEY: Go ahead and laugh. (Pouting) You know the only reason I wear those is because my legs are so sensitive and ...
ANGELA: (Cutting in) And Pamela Dianne and Shuky find them so sexy!
HAYLEY: Watch it, little sister, your claws are showing. Besides, (Pausing) I would rather we not talk about Shuky. He and I are not speaking, so I am exclusively with Pamela Dianne and she with me.
ALLISON: (Aside to the Sheriff) Now, there's a relationship that I would love to have explained to me.
HARRIET: (Moving between her two siblings) Personally, I think we should just drop the subject and move on to what we can finish here.
ANGELA: You're right, Harri. (Turning to Gillespie) Bill, have you heard from Jhourdhaun or Bubba?
GILLESPIE: Not since early this morning. I had to drive her home from the doctor's and she told me she would be up to helping tonight.
ALLISON: She probably wasn't feeling quite up to this, so Bubba just went over to keep her company.
HARRIET: Yeah, but you would have thought they would have called to let us know something.
GILLESPIE: I don't know about that. Lately, they both have been forgetting a lot of things, including where they're supposed to be.
ANGELA: Well, I hope they show up soon. It's bad enough the groom won't be here. I at least need the best man and bridesmaid around. (Turning to leave) If they do show, please send them to me. (Remembering something) Oh, and Hayley, I am not removing Shuky from the guest list, especially not after the fuss you raised to get me to invite him.
HAYLEY: (Leaving with her) Even if I say please. (Voice fading as they move away) He's really been horrible lately with his demands on me and Pamela ...
GILLESPIE: (Moving to his wife) I thought you told me there wasn't any insanity in your family.
HARRIET: Oh, Bill!
BUBBA: (Walking up with his arm around Jhourdhaun) See, Jhourdhy, I told you it would be a madhouse around here. Even your dad admits it.
HARRIET: That wasn't what he said and where have you two been? (Moving to kiss both of them) We were starting to get worried.
JHOURDHAUN: (Nervously moving her hair) Sorry. We kind of lost track of time.
GILLESPIE: If that ring on your finger is the reason, then I can guess why.
JHOURDHAUN: Daddy! (As shocked as the others) There is no way you could have noticed my ring!
GILLESPIE: Not true. (Moving to her and lifting her hand) A father normally pays close attention to anything that might divert his daughter's interest away from him. (Looking at her) Am I right?
BUBBA: (Proudly) As a matter of fact, Jhourdhaun has consented to marry me.
ALLISON: (Almost screaming as she quickly embraces Jhourdhaun) I knew this was coming even with Virgil constantly reminding me how different the two of you were.
HARRIET: Excuse me, but could I get in here to offer my congratulations. (Hugging Jhourdhaun) I'm so happy for you, baby. I know your mom is too. (Turning to Bubba and hugging him) Ashelei would have just loved you!
JHOURDHAUN: (Uncomfortably) Could we please keep this quiet. (Looking around) We weren't planning on announcing this until after the wedding. I didn't want to upstage Angela's big event.
HARRIET: Okay, okay! (Smiling) We'll keep quiet, but don't expect any of us to act anything but ecstatic!
JHOURDHAUN: (Smiling) Okay. (Looking around again) This place looks like it's really coming together.
ALLISON: Only by the Grace of God, Angela's strong will, and our pure brawn.
BUBBA: Are we in a lot of trouble?
ANGELA: (Walking up) If I weren't so glad to see you then, yes, you would be. (Hugging them both) Where have you been?
BUBBA: We just sort of lost track of time. (Sheepishly) Sorry.
ANGELA: (Suspicious) Well, as long as you made it. (Smiling) With you here, it looks like things are finally beginning to gel.
A loud crash is heard and the lights suddenly go out. General shrieks can be heard until a kindly voice mentions that it is a church and that there are plenty of candles. A few are lit and distributed.
ANGELA: (Stricken) Does anyone believe in signs?
HARRIET: (Comforting her sister) This is no sign against the wedding. This is probably someone being stupid enough to let Hayley work on something. (Walking the younger woman away) I'll tell you what. How about I go with you to check what's going on, okay.
REESE: (Joining them) Uhh ... I thought this was supposed to be a wedding, not a wake!
ANGELA: (Near tears as she moves into her sister's arms) Oh, Reese! Everything is falling down around me. And on top of that, I thought you weren't going to make it.
REESE: (Stepping back to look at her sister) Do you honestly believe I would miss your big day?
TERRY: Yeah. We drove most of last night and all of today to get here. (Shaking his head) And believe me, that wasn't easy with someone who gets carsick and a newborn in the car.
HARRIET: (Hugging Reese) A newborn?
REESE: (Smiling and motioning to a lady nearby holding a small bundle in her arms) You heard the man; a newborn. (Taking the bundle) Family, I would like you to meet Asheria Rose Banham-Scott. (Holding the baby up) Asheria, this is your new family - the extended Banham Bunch.
ANGELA: Oh, she's beautiful! When ... I mean ... where?
REESE: Our sudden vacation wasn't what we led on. A friend of Hampton's and Terry's dad contacted us about his dying daughter and her newborn. They knew about the "Banham Baby Curse" and wanted us to have her. (Snuggling the baby) We still have a few more details to work out, but the social worker told us we could take our daughter home.
HARRIET: I am so happy for you. No one deserves some happiness more than you.
REESE: (Grabbing her hand) Thank you.
ANGELA: This is fantastic! A new baby and a wedding. You can't get a better combination. In fact, (Thinking) all of these candles have given me the idea that a wedding by candlelight might be great! I mean, as long as we keep them away from the kids and Hayley, it should be perfect. (Continuing to talk as Harriet pulls Reese aside)
REESE: (Rocking the baby) There she goes. I don't think we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we agreed to be her Matrons-of Honour. If we're not careful, she's going to chunk our gowns for wood nymphs' robes.
HARRIET: Oh, I hope not! I don't think I could pull off the wood nymph body right now. (Beaming at her sister and new niece) I don't want to separate the two of you, but could I possibly hold her?
REESE: Of course. (Settling the baby in Harriet's arms) Let me put this on you so she won't mess up that blouse. (Adjusting the pad) I know you'd hate ruining a Tolliver original, especially a maternity one that he doesn't make many of.
Just as she makes the last statement the group behind them hits a quiet spell. Harriet and Reese don't notice as they marvel at the baby.
JHOURDHAUN: Maternity!
HARRIET: (Confused and looking at her husband who's gone red) What?
ANGELA: Reese was commenting on your Tolliver original maternity blouse.
HARRIET: (Blanching) Oh no.
REESE: Don't tell me. (Shaking her head) I opened my big mouth again, didn't I? (Chagrined) I just assumed since you were wearing the blouse, everyone knew. I also assumed you hadn't told me because you didn't want to see me in any pain. Now I see what they meant about assuming. (Taking the baby) Sorry.
JHOURDHAUN: (Applying pressure) Well, is it true? Is there going to be a new face in the Gillespie house?
HARRIET: (Moving to her very red husband) Like you, we were also trying to save our little announcement until after the festivities.
GILLESPIE: Not to mention, our trying to avoid some of the ribbing that is going to go with our finding ourselves at this age and in this predicament.
JHOURDHAUN: (Beaming) I cannot believe this! If anyone had told me I'd be a part of this most interesting family, I would have ...
ANGELA: (Interrupting) Wait a minute. What did Harri mean when she said like you they were keeping their announcement quiet? What's the dish?
JHOURDHAUN: (Getting closer to Bubba and using him as a shield) Can't you just make due with my parents' good news until after the honeymoon? It's not like it's life or death, or anything.
ANGELA: I never said it was. It's just that lately, for some odd reason like Lonnie's getting shot five days before the wedding, I've felt the need to be in control or at least aware of the situations around me. So, humour me.
BUBBA: Okay, Miss I-Have-To-Know-Everything-Around-Me. But, if this in anyway overshadows your big day, just remember we tried to keep it quiet. (Taking a deep breath) The reason we were late was I took Jhourdhaun to Sanger Mount and asked her to marry me. She completely lost it and said yes, ... end of story.
ANGELA: (Gesturing) This is what you wanted to keep from me. I thought you were going to run off to some cult tomorrow morning or something. (Wiping happy tears away) I must really have a terrific and considerate circle of family and friends for y'all to try to keep some of the most wonderful news hidden just so my wedding could be in the spotlight. (Looking around) This ceremony is going to be perfect just because you are all going to be there. (Shrugging) That and the groom remembering his name and mine. (Pausing) Come on let's finish up here. We've got a big day ahead of us!
ACT ONE, SCENE TWO
SETTING: A private home. The room is set up with one table and several chairs. There are chips arranged in piles on the table and several decks of cards like in a high-stakes poker game. A very regal older lady walks into the room followed by several others.
DeLAINE: (With a French accent) Well, it seems that no expense was spared for this little match. I suppose Stellas went all out as usual to entertain us as well.
GENNA: (Showing the older lady to her seat) Keele says that Mr. Costas has promised some of the most interesting and compelling entertainment.
DeLAINE: (Looking at the bimbo-ish woman) He could entertain me more by seeing if you can actually spell any of the words you just used.
KEELE: Now, DeLaine, you're not being fair to Miss Highbridge and that's not nice. We all agreed to this game under the guise of lowering hostilities. We also agreed that no high-handedness would come to this table and that includes any jibes aimed at my intended.
DeLAINE: My apologies Keele and Miss Highbridge.
HEATHCLIFF: (Joining them) Always the gracious lady, eh DeLaine.
DeLAINE: (Smiling as he kisses her hand) As much as you are always the charming rogue.
HEATHCLIFF: (Tipping his head) I wonder what delightful delights Costas has in store for us. He was very secretive when he issued my invitation.
KEELE: Well, whatever it is, you can expect it to cost plenty. (Looking around) With the talent and the resources he has gathered here, I can promise that the payoffs going to be big.
STELLAS: (Entering the room) I can guarantee that they will be even larger than any of you expected. (Standing before them and extending his arms) Welcome, to one and all. I hope that this evening will bring about all that you have ever dreamed, ... at least at poker.
General laughter can be heard. Stellas Costas turns his attention towards DeLaine.
HEATHCLIFF: Then let the games begin. What's on the table first?
STELLAS: (Still staring at DeLaine) Our first item is actually one of the most damaging. For the small price of $250,000 on the table and aces wild, you can learn what actually happened to the less than popular and late Mrs. Keele Zimmer.
KEELE: (Enraged) What are you implying? How dare you try to drag my good name into this sordid business!
STELLAS: I agree that the business is sordid but as for your good name, you'll have to play just like the rest of us, ... oh and win of course, if you want to keep it.
HEATHCLIFF: Now that I know what the stakes are, count me in.
STELLAS: I'm glad you feel that way because in the next game aces are high and jacks are wild, the entering pot is $500,000 and the truth behind that million dollar embezzlement scam at your bank.
HEATHCLIFF: (Blanching) It would be that. I guess I 'd better hope my poker skills are up to par. (Turning to the woman beside him) If I were you, I'd run before he threatens your freedom.
STELLAS: Now, why would she want to do that. Especially with hers being the biggest pot of the night. (Smiling menacingly) You see my information against the Damme les Grande will not place her in any formal prison, but it will damage something that she holds most dear. (Moving to stand behind her) You see, there is a reason why I picked this particular hole in the ground for my little party. Someone that DeLaine holds dear lives in this metropolitan burg. This person would be most definitely devastated to find out that this gracious lady has the heart of harlot.
DeLAINE: (Standing and slapping him) I hate you!
STELLAS (Wiping his mouth) That will cost you extra! (Composing himself) Now, shall we begin?
DeLAINE: Before we commence with the activities, I have a wager to add to the pot. If I even suspect that you have broadcast anything, I will personally kill you with my bare hands!
STELLAS: (Smiling) Whatever you say. (Pausing) Now, let the games begin!
ACT ONE, SCENE THREE
SETTING: A convention room in the Sparta Palace. It has been set up for a wedding reception that looks like it is in full swing. Gillespie and Jhourdhaun are dancing.
GILLESPIE: So, when can I expect to walk you down the aisle?
JHOURDHAUN: (Laughing) When can I expect my little brother or sister?
GILLESPIE: I've been meaning to ask how you feel about that.
JHOURDHAUN: (Puzzled) What do you mean?
GILLESPIE: Well, it doesn't seem like that long ago when I was asking you to accept me and Harriet and what we kept from you, and now, we're asking you to accept someone else.
JHOURDHAUN: I love Bobby and Eric and Lana and I tolerate Eugene. So, what's so different about the new baby?
GILLESPIE: Well now, the others have either come into this blend through one of us or the other. You were the only one with ties to us both.
JHOURDHAUN: That makes me welcome this new person all the more. (Pausing) That baby and I will have a bond that will be practically unbreakable because we're united in a way that the others won't understand. (Assuringly) You and Harriet have nothing to worry about from my end.
GILLESPIE: (Hugging her) Thank you.
JHOURDHAUN: No problem. What are long-lost daughters for anyway?
GILLESPIE: Tons of love to make up for that lost part. (Thinking for a moment) Now, exactly how long do I have to call you all mine?
JHOURDHAUN: (Shrewdly) Let's just get through this wedding.
They casually waltz by their significant others and Hayley and continue to dance.
HARRIET: I wonder what they're grinning about?
HAYLEY: Probably about all of the big news. One baby down, another to come, and a future wedding. (Turning to Bubba) You realize I hate you for stealing Jhourdhaun from me. She and I would have been perfect for each other.
BUBBA: I don't think Jhourdhaun would have been in to your particular games.
HAYLEY: I could have reformed for her. (Thinking about it) Well, maybe not. Besides, how would you know what she is and isn't into?
HARRIET: (Stepping between them) Boys, before you start throwing things other than words, may I remind you that Bill probably wouldn't appreciate your putting his pregnant wife in the middle of anything.
HAYLEY: (Kissing her cheek) Not to worry, love. I would not think of possibly hurting you or my future nephew or niece. (Leaving to join his date) I'd better go and grab Pamela Dianne before Shuky tries to sweet-talk his way back into our bedroom.
BUBBA: (Frowning with distaste) Harriet, you know I think highly of you and your family. But, honest to goodness, that boy and his games scare me to death!
HARRIET: (Grinning) Well, don't feel too bad. He scares me, too! (Shrugging) Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened to all of us if we had been raised together aware of each other; able to help each other. (Pausing) I constantly ask myself if Sharla would be spending the rest of her life in a mental institution or if Reese would be a recovering alcoholic or if Hayley would be Sparta's own version of Sexual Preferences Unlimited. (Looking at the happy couple) Angela's the closest to the norm but something tells me she's hiding the scars.
BUBBA: I have a feeling she isn't the only one hiding a few of them. (Hugging her) You know if you need anything from Jhourdhaun and me, we're here.
HARRIET: (Hugging him back) My girl is definitely getting herself a rare find.
JHOURDHAUN: (Walking up with the Sheriff) I don't know about this, Dad. It sure looks suspicious to me.
GILLESPIE: Now, it does at that.
BUBBA: (Grinning) We were just debating the possibility of running off together.
HARRIET: (Moving to her husband) Yes, but then we decided against it because I didn't bring my track shoes.
JHOURDHAUN: (Putting her arms around her fiancé) Thank goodness for that. (Looking down at her gown) I would have hated ruining this dress trying to chase you down.
HARRIET: (Laughing) No need to worry. (Patting her husband's arm) I do believe I already have all I could ever want right here.
Hampton and Parker enter the reception area, spot Bubba and the Sheriff and walk to them.
HAMPTON: I hate to interrupt the festivities, but it looks like duty calls.
BUBBA: I was wondering where you ran off to after the ceremony.
HAMPTON: Well, I didn't want to leave; it just happened that I had to.
GILLESPIE: What's going on, Hamp? It must be pretty important for you to personally oversee it.
HAMPTON: It is. (Pausing) Seems that a high-stakes poker game with some very high rollers has ended with a killing. And I don't mean a big payoff.
PARKER: The remaining players demanded that the big man himself handle things, so I went to the Church and got the Chief.
HAMPTON: (Looking at Bubba) After my preliminary check, I thought you might want to be involved.
JHOURDHAUN: (Disappointed) Tonight. I mean, Bubba still has to give the toast.
BUBBA: It's okay, Jhourdhy. I'll just get someone else to give it. (Shrugging) Like Hampton said, duty calls.
HAMPTON: Wait a minute, Bubba. (Looking around) Why don't you go ahead and finish up here. No need for everyone to suffer because of a bad deal.
BUBBA: (Groaning at the pun) If I wasn't happy to hear you say that, I might have called you to task on that horrific pun.
HAMPTON: (Laughing) No need. I punished myself as soon as I said it. (Looking at the Sheriff) Bill, this might interest you as well.
HARRIET: Why would it? Is the murder on the county line?
HAMPTON: (Put on the spot) Nooo, .... I just thought professional courtesy.
GILLESPIE: No need to explain, Hamp. (Calming Harriet as she prepares to interject) I'm not going anywhere, Harri. (Turning to his friend) Thanks, Hamp, but I think I'm going to sit this one out.
HAMPTON: I understand. Come on, Parker. (Turning to leave) Bubba, we'll see you at 2723 Gilchrest.
BUBBA: (Watching them leave) I think I'll go light a fire under the happy couple. With any luck, I can be over there no later than two. (Kissing Jhourdhaun as he turns to leave) I have a funny feeling this is going to turn into something big.