Episode 2

The group of twelve stood for several minutes. Zach muttered something about how he managed to get into such an absurd situation, others contemplated the jungle or their eternally sweaty clothes. George, the wirey-haired New York comic took advantage of the pause to ask "so where's the nearest McDonalds?" Roger compulsively set to verifying his inventory of supplies, and eventually produced a GPS receiver. Anthony's eyes lit up, and he proclaimed "hey, we could use that thing to find the cave!" Julie the explorer rolled her eyes up and sighed "Duh!" The gesture went unnoticed since Carl the politician stepped up to agree with Anthony, stating that "it sounds like an idea, and I support it." As such, the first alliance was formed between Carl and the boasting, boisterous Anthony. Meanwhile, Julie had methodically assessed a map, activated her own GPS, set a course, estimated a time, and invited the group to follow. The group picked up their gear and set out, begrudgingly at first, but soon glad to be walking off their stiffness from the seven day bus ride. Julie's calm expertise led them to the pit after 4 days of arduous jungle hiking. They arrived in relatively good shape, thanks largely to Cassie, the veterinarian who persistently prompted all team members to keep drinking water. During the hike, another alliance had naturally formed out of mutual respect between Julie and Cassie. At the pit, Siu uttered some of her first words, quietly in Chinese, something about exploring one's inner self by seeking to understand the inner earth, the place of man's origin and entrance to the region of the dead. Anthony astutely yelled "we can use a rope to get down there," not noticing that Tobias the humble Hawaiian was already helping the Ohio twins Sally and Jennifer to unload their new PMI ropes. The twins had won the ropes at the last Wormfest in Kentucky, an event that stirred up a lot of unjustified but jealous speculation as to how the two beauties ended up with the best prize. Unfortunately, the quarrelsome duo could not agree to share the rope, so they cut it into two 200' sections so each could have their own. Tobias and the twins handily rigged one of the ropes while the others sought ways to build up their nerve for the drop. This was, after all, a frightening experience for some who had just completed their only vertical instruction by correspondence. The text for the course was "Down Ropes for Dummies," and none had completed the advanced course and follow-on text, "Up Ropes for Dummies." Zach, already insecure with his mail-order doctor's degree, wrung his hands, muttering "why is it always me?" Eventually they all made it down except for Zach. The eleven at the bottom of the pit waited for 30 minutes, yelling at Zach to come down, but to no avail. Anthony then said "He'll probably steal our rope if we leave him up there...but I know what to do about it!" He proceeded to climb back up the rope, spewing out a list of labels as he climbed ("that wussy pansy…") The rest of the group let him go and moved into the cave to a drier and cooler spot. They did not notice the temporary disappearance of the rope as Anthony surfaced, re-rigged the rope for a pull-down, and rappelled back down. He eventually returned and re-joined the group, the rope handsomely coiled about his neck. The shock and surprise was ubiquitous, and underlined by an oppressive silence. Suddenly, Maria broke the silence with a quickly spoken "Idiot! How do you expect us to get back out if we get lost? You...you…" She then continued firing away with a long string of Spanish, a barrage so fierce that everyone watched the tiny lady with fearsome awe. Undaunted, Anthony said "I didn't understand a word you said. Anyway, I solved two problems for us: Zach can't steal the rope, and now we don't have to vote on who the first person is to be kicked out of this contest! ...and so there were eleven, and Zach hitchiked his way to Cancun. Stay tuned for the next episode of Surveyor Cave!