email message attributed this to The Washington Post
God Made Us Sisters; Prozac Made Us Friends My Mother Is a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips Senior Citizen: Give Me My Discount (Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If You Can Read This, My Wife Fell Off Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I Did a Little Shopping What If the Hokey Pokey Is Really What It's All About? Coffee, Chocolate, Men: Some Things Are Just Better Rich Liberal Arts Major . . . Will Think for Food Don't Treat Me Any Differently Than You Would the Queen Gravity...It's Not Just a Good Idea. It's the Law If You Want Breakfast in Bed, Sleep in the Kitchen First National Bank of Dad: Sorry, Closed In Dog Years, I'm Dead Love May Be Blind, But Marriage Is a Real Eye Opener If at First You Don't Succeed, Skydiving Isn't for You The Trouble With the Gene Pool Is That There's No Lifeguard I'm Going to Graduate on Time, No Matter How Long It Takes Anything Not Worth Doing Is Not Worth Doing Well A Day Without Sunshine is Like Night First Things First, but Not Necessarily in That Order Old Age Comes at a Bad Time In America, Anyone Can Be President. That's One of the Risks You Take. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. I(nternal) R(evenue) S(ervice): We've got what it takes to take what you've got. Out of my mind...Back in five minutes. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. Hang up and drive. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather . . . Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. God must love stupid people. . . . He made SO many. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Where there's a will.. . . I want to be in it. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Always remember you're unique... Just like everyone else Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you. Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes. My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her . . . or something like that. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
