Funny Names and Foods

Version 2.0.1 19Mar2005

This is a 25-year collection of names and foods, gathered from creative friends, relatives, and professional writers of stage, screen, and television. None in the first two categories are terribly obscene unless I haven't gotten the joke yet. Some of Dan's are!
Click on a category to scroll down to that part of this long page:

  Names

  • male
    		•
  • female
    		•
  • nurse
    		•
  • society male
    		•
  • society female
    		•
  • politician
    		•
  • real male
    		•
  • real female
    		•
  • hillbilly
    		•
  • foreign
    		•
  • combination foreign
    		•
  • police
    		•
  • medieval
    		•
  • villain
    		•

      Foods

  • breakfasts
    		•
  • sandwiches
    		•
  • fast foods
    		•
  • orderves
    		•
  • soups
    		•
  • salads
    		•
  • main dishes
    		•
  • cross cultural main dishes
    		•
  • drinks
    		•
  • desserts...snacks
    		•
  • diet food
    		•
  • miscellaneous
    		•
  • road kill
    		•

      more Names
  • contributed by Dan Pratt
    		•



    male:
    Clutch Cooger
    Midnight Eaglehead
    Carlyle Crud
    Rodney Alice Miller
    Talon Scout
    Acne Pitz
    Bermuda Schwartz
    Ferd Nand
    Dom Bunny
    Emil Nitrate
    Dexter Methorphan
    Smokestack El Ropo
    Hojo Hominygrits
    Pinetop Rosenberg
    B-flat Bart
    Dusty Lenscap
    Metaldude
    Dirk Niblick
    Dredge Rivers
    Rowdy Rawhide
    Wes Virginia
    Crocodile Bunjee
    Duff Severe
    Red Herring
    Red Flapjack (good trucker CB handle)
    Wade Anchors
    Crag Antler
    Pegleg Bates
    Pass-the-Biscuits Pappy
    Biff Baxter
    Biff Stew
    Amos Behavin
    Joe Lunchpail
    Freddy Hardhat
    Claypool Pennyfeather
    J. Newton Numbskull
    Langhorne Motely
    Melville Himmelfarb
    Terrence Tickle
    Omar Goodness
    Goggles Paisano (race car driver)
    Dr. Denton Fender
    Roy Wrongway Tiredamage
    Howie Baggadonutz
    Duncan Donuts
    Oliver Sudden
    Phil Thisup
    Adam Bomb
    Rudy Canal
    Al Kaseltzer
    Brad Wee Musical
    Jack D. Rentup
    Big Wave Dave
    Lush Schwab
    Daryl Lect
    Wino Joe
    Lunchtime O'Booze
    Alfred Hitchike
    Bob EQ
    Gil Tripp
    Moe Lester
    Rasil Bathbone
    Lefty Rightguard
    Bey Beruit, the Sultan of Swatt
    Fenton Fagg
    P. J. Prevert
    Harry Homo
    Randy Queen

    female:
    Pizelle Puree
    Chlorine
    Cinnamon Teal
    Eleanor Squeal
    Mary Ellen Krabofski
    Chrystal Shanda Lear
    Dream Weaver
    Fairynette Kathgassner
    Gisella Werberserch-Piffel
    Honeysuckle Ginsberg
    Bathsheba Finkelstein
    Delicia Bracegirdle
    Cheerful Hyacinth
    Elvira Honeyspice Klothgrunt
    Hattie Cheerio Goodpickett
    Gussie Fink-Nottle
    Incense Berkowitz
    Nancy Ann Seancey
    Esther Oyster
    Philomenia Bifulk
    Elzora Flitt
    Lubricity
    Kitty Litter
    Amber Wyse
    I. M. Shirley Right
    Bedelia Gwangi
    Heidi Ho
    Gloss Black
    Melody Ragmore
    Madame McNair
    Wanda B. Wedsome
    Bambi Dextrous
    Sue Jitsu
    Pretzella Presley
    Freidagurtz
    Bonnie Scotland
    Ann Phibian
    Lilac Arug

    nurse:
    Nurse Finebum
    Nurse Pertbottom
    Nurse Lushtush
    Nurse Rosenrump
    Nurse Talltail
    Nurse Nietkeister

    society male:
    Cranston Belch III
    August Schilling
    Upright Dunkirk III
    T. Askew Crumbley
    Madison A. Swill
    Admiral Broadbeam
    Hammond Egger
    Fuller Bull
    Fuller Rath
    Effingham Hoofnagle
    Bullshot Crummond
    Lord Rumblebottom
    Tristram Jellyneck
    The Duke of Oil

    society female:
    Mrs. Razorback
    Fran Van Crisco
    Florette Smugnose
    Lady Starched Bottom
    Gloria Van Derebuilt
    Lady Astorbuilt

    politician:
    Senator Foghorn
    Senator Grafton
    President Nignew
    Adenoid Hinkel

    real male:
    Marvel Wonsetler
    Americus Ivey
    Huron Downs
    Jepsen Valborg
    Odus Dehay
    Othan McGuirt
    Dummer D. Delno
    Melpo Talianis
    Missouri Butler Sims
    Eino Alto
    Harry Horni
    Marvin Pigram
    Exildo Briggs

    real female:
    Blooma Stack (maiden name Cover?)
    Capitola Lamb
    Queen Dye
    Zada Ledesma
    Litha Lucey
    Frieda Zingg
    Rosetta Friday
    Regina Archembault
    Gladys Bolz
    Nannie Peeples Ray
    Opal Plumlee
    Lettie Andrupen
    Iona Walker
    Zulrika Teeple
    Barthene Nash
    Fern Breeze
    Independence Johnson
    Melpo Talianis
    Armilda Stoker
    Juanita Von Walden
    Frezell Ardell
    Lorvenia Billiups
    Ethel Booze
    Precious Honeywood
    Maggie Tart
    Irene Heckenliable
    Velora Umlauft
    Saleemie Schwalb
    Adelle Followell
    Ora Thee
    Isabel Molesworth
    Clara Gloomski

    hillbilly:
    Beau Gus
    Clod Hopper
    Jake Razzlebone
    Skinwell Oatcake
    Clot Ballew
    Fantastic Barnsmell
    Warthog McUgly
    Gus Goomer
    Oink Smith
    Dexter Steerhaul (truck driver)
    Gurgy Tate
    Zebulon Piecrust
    Lester Flem
    Ollie Hopnoodle

    foreign:
    Dung Kow
    Nip Tuck
    Sonovitch
    Sheistkopf
    Konstilobilovich (composer)
    Ingor Garitsky
    Pting Zow

    combination foreign:
    White Fish (part Hebrew, part Apache)
    Abdul O'Brien Cohen
    Jesus Braunschweiger
    Genghis Cohen (restaurant in Los Angeles?)
    Carlos Goldstein
    Pepito Greenberg
    Mohammed Ulysses Fips
    Esther Olivero Nakamicha

    police:
    Lt. Mack Druck
    Sgt. Fleacollar
    Officer Dumdum
    Officer Hollowpoint

    medieval:
    Sir Cumference
    Noah Count
    Baron Bad Blood
    Sir Cur
    Sultan Pepper
    Odge Gribble
    Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive

    villain:
    Robin Steel
    Craven Sinclair
    Dr. Illtread W. Lecher
    Dan Backslide
    Larsen E. Pettyfogger




    breakfasts:
    nuts & twigs cereal
    toast au gratin

    sandwiches:
    mashed potato sandwich
    peanut butter & razor grinder
    dragonfly sandwich
    peanut butter & jelly au jus

    fast foods:
    mystery burger
    dobbin burger
    slider
    gut bomb
    rectum rocket

    orderves:
    tuna fish, clam juice, and peanut butter
    jack cheese and chutney
    chunky goat cheese & chives
    oysters & raisins

    soups:
    gold soup (14 carrots)
    liver onion soup
    sloth broth
    gourd soup
    moisture stew
    cream of gristle
    old fashioned grease & weasel
    mink bisque
    tap water & lawn trimmings
    sideburns & barley

    salads:
    cole sloth
    sleezed cabbage
    thistledown salad

    main dishes:
    brandied shrew
    baked wolverine with muscatel dressing
    minced manatee with sour cream
    brazed woodchuck au puave
    cow pot pie
    kitten pot pie
    ham & limas (C-rations)
    pig's feet & jellyfish (turf & surf)
    gristleami
    byproduct casserole
    ringtail surprise
    rat foot feast
    ratioli
    gerbils & jelly
    cinnamon chicken
    peppermint chicken
    creamed herring
    creamed carp seasoned with ground tush of peccary
    squid with hershey sauce
    terrapin slumgum
    grubs on the half shell
    hollyberry & mustard mousse

    cross cultural main dishes:
    wonton guantanamera
    jalapeno pasta with rattlesnake sausage
    matzoh balls ranchero
    cajun stir-fried meatballs
    chitlins teriyaki

    drinks:
    kahlua and root beer
    a big beaker of black benzene and boiled brimstone,
      with a shot of shingle stain, a jigger of jump juice,
      a hunk of horse harness floatin' on top, and a chunk
      of chipped china for a chaser
    black yukon sucker punch
    mint jalopy
    cucumber dacquiri
    tonsil varnish
    Sears wine
    swine cooler
    gummy berry juice
    sushi slurpee
    perrier and soda
    "Nairobi Aroma" Black Beetle capuccino mix
    Tahitian Vanilla-Wombat expresso

    desserts, cookies, candy, and snacks:
    fudge zombie
    jalapeno jello
    hollyberry & mustard mousse
    tainted oyster dainties
    asbestos snaps
    cholesterol chubbies
    puppy swirls
    spackle swirlies
    chrome candy
    hardened toothpaste dinner mints
    Sunoco resin chews
    good & linty
    disembowelmint
    liver tangerine raccoon toffee
    microwave gummy worms
    gummy nasties
    marshmallow rings
    lug nuts
    deep fried rat tail curls
    little squirming crunchies
    chocolate chip clam dip
    sweet-o-crax

    diet food:
    green lizard yogurt

    miscellaneous:
    oat cuisine
    flugelcaca
    imitation processed cheese-like substance
    a seafood chili called red tide

    roadkill (swerve shopping):
    blacktop breakfast
    summer squash
    pheasant under wheel
    roadside ribeye
    yellow-line yummies
    Datsun duck
    gravel goose
    highway hash
    Michelin meal
    Firestone filet
    windshield wabbit
    pavement possum
    hushed puppies
    Pluto pat
    roadster roast
    curbside cat
    asphalt armadillo on the halfshell
    gator ghoulash
    coot cutlets
    Bambi burger



    Dan Pratt's names, some are adults only:

    • Uri Nalzmel
    • D. "Raging Tex" Tostorhown
    • "Lotta" Dane Bramidge
    • D. "Gus" Tedley
    • S. "Cal" Ewagg
    • Che DePlot
    • Troi Jan Leek
    • Val Garrpons
    • Drew Lensott
    • Yawaldda Putts
    • Heidi Ho
    • Leigh Mibuhby
    • A. "Babe" Endiwoods
    • C. Yussoon
    • Dan D. Fino
    • Preen Ng Shmugli
    • Willa D. Daws
    • Your Eva Sieve
    • Kwai N. Oulowd
    • Bo D. Oatdough
    • D. Jennirit
    • Odel "A.D." Hu
    • "Ma" Gottie
    • Camille Tokroch
    • Do Ghidro Ping
    • Holden D. Bagg
    • Shamis D. Lasstym
    • Adair "Yoda" Duet
    • D. Prufendy Pudden
    • Misty Wected
    • Roy Baldume
    • Spatunia L'Triene
    • Daghidra Ping




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