The View From the Outback

• Thoughts While Staring at the Ceiling Fan
• Aircraft Cockpit Security
• Texas Has More People, But New York Still The Center Of The Universe
• The Thick And Thin Of "Cast Away"
• The Great Dane Is Dead
• Where Was The Gun Control Issue During The Campaign?
• The Alleged Suspect

Montgomery Wards ("Monkey Wards") is closing its stores. I will miss it - especially since one of my grade-school classmates was once the president of the company. Steve Pistner attended Horace Mann grade school in St. Paul, Minnesota. Another of our classmates was Harvey Mackay, who writes all those motivational business books and gives speeches. Where did the rest of us in that class go wrong? Actually, neither Steve nor Harvey would know who I am, since I used my step-father's name when I was in elementary school. Don't tell. I have been undercover for over 50 years. They think I am a drummer in a band (my 8th-grade prophesy in the year book).

A study indicates that the excitement of just viewing a hard-fought athletic event can cause a heart attack. The Super Bowl was mentioned as one possibility. Since there has been only one exciting Super Bowl in recent memory, the odds favor all of us surviving the upcoming one without a heart attack. An attack of napping is a more real possibility.

Most of us in the Outback are very tired of the news media and the pundits saying that the Supreme Court "decided the election by one vote." And that it was all political. On the broad Constitutional issue of the guarantee of equal protection of the law, which really decided the case - the vote was 7 to 2. The 5 to 4 opinion dealt with a possible remedy. There was no logical and legal remedy that could be invoked by another run through the Florida Supreme Court in the time remaining before the deadline, even if it had been extended to December 18th. The word is that there might have even been a unanimous decision if the Chief Justice did not himself feel the pressure of time. He wanted to avoid the showdown in the Florida legislature and possibly later in the U.S. House of Representatives over which slate of electoral delegates to accept. So, he accepted the 7 to 2 vote, the crucial one. The secondary 5 to 4 vote gives all the Supreme Court wannabes - and sore losers - something to whine about. All this crap about the integrity of the Supreme Court being damage by the "partisan vote" will not stand close scrutiny of the decision or the test of time.

A CNN/USA poll of about 1000 people indicates that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. I have never met a person who had a good thing to say about her. Is it possible that those conducting the poll somehow got a list of contributors to her campaign and were told that it was a "random sampling"?

Aircraft Cockpit Security

If you watch TV, you know that a British Airways 747 nearly met a tragic end when a passenger burst into the cockpit and apparently tried to put the plane into a suicide dive. What is missing from most of the reports is that the door to the cockpit was unlocked, as is the custom on British Airways. A spokesman on TV defended the "open door" practice by saying the usual trite "If somebody wants to get in they will get in" (whether the door is locked or not). What nonsense. There is a modest bit of truth in that statement with the cardboard-thin doors and flimsy locks in use on most cockpit doors. U. S. airliners keep their doors locked and do not allow passengers on the "flight deck" while flights are in progress.

There is no excuse for this. If cab drivers in New York City can be protected by a bullet-proof partition between the driver and the rear seat(s), then the airline industry needs to take immediate steps to protect the lives of the crew and passengers on airliners. An average jumbo may carry nearly 400 people. I spent many years trying to get into places I was not supposed to (overseas, on behalf of our beloved government), and later spent many years teaching people how to keep others from gaining forceful access to their homes, businesses, and office buildings.

It is a relatively simple matter to make the "wall" and door leading to the pilot cockpit of materials that resist a brute force attempt to crash in. A bullet resistant material should be used in the partition and the compartment door, such as Kevlar (used in bulletproof vests) or bullet-resistant plexiglass, etc.

A good lock and engagement to the solid frame is a simple matter. The deadbolt on your house or apartment is many times better than most locks on cockpit doors. To prevent a passenger from forcing a crew member to unlock the door, the door should be controlled from inside the cockpit. The crew should have to use an intercom to request permission to enter and a closed circuit camera trained above the door with a monitor in the cockpit. The crew should have a key word or phrase to indicate if they are acting under duress when seeking entry to the cockpit. A remote transmitter, like is used on today's cars and trucks to lock and unlock doors, should be hidden where a crew member could get it in case of an emergency in the cockpit.

These are pretty simple and not-very-expensive steps to take to prevent "crazed passengers" from rushing through the unlocked cockpit door as one did on the British Airways flight.

Texas Has More People, But New York Still The Center Of The Universe

The Census data is (are?) coming out. Texas has passed New York as the second-most-populous state! Man, that must make New Yorkers mad. Even worse, they will lose two congressional seats and Texas will gain two. I guess the only solace for New Yorkers is that they know that NYC is the center of the Universe, the focus of all creative, artistic, and business activity. While Texas is populated with people who talk funny, chew tobacco, ride around in pickups with doors that don't match in color, and have strange relationships with sheep. Interesting though how all those dolts in Texas keep sending presidents to Washington, L.B.J., Bush, Sr. and now Bush, Jr. They must be finding them under a rock. That rock is ... The Rock of Gibraltar.

The Thick And Thin Of "Cast Away"

I have been critical of TV and movie critics - and with good reason. All of the reviews I read of "Cast Away" with Tom Hanks knocked it in one way or another. Yet, it is a box-office smash. My problem with Tom Hanks is a peculiar one. As one who has gained and lost weight all of my life, in a constant struggle, I know that it is not good for your system. Tom Hanks gained about 40 pounds for the role. Then, they stopped shooting the picture while he lost the weight to look gaunt in the late stages of the movie. Mr. Hanks, that is a horrible thing to do to your body. No moving picture show is worth messing up health, which you surely contributed to by that stunt.

Interestingly, the screen writer for the movie was William Broyles, Jr., who was the first editor at Texas Monthly and published my first major article - many years ago. He later was editor of NEWSWEEK. And an ex Marine Captain, too. And a former school administrator in Houston. Now, he has gone Hollywood. Bill, call me if you need help. I'll become a writing whore for $100,000 a draft. You may remember his name from the credits on China Beach. Great guy. I only kid him because he has never asked me to work with him on a project. And I have asked at least once. No more. I have my pride. I will not beg.

The Great Dane is Dead

Victor Borge, brilliant pianist and humorist, died recently at the age of 91. Young people probably don't remember him. His one-man music/comedy show will never be duplicated. A classical musician from Denmark, he was a truly rare talent. I saw him perform live only once - in about 1952. I was on leave from the Marines and visiting my mother at a residential hotel in downtown Minneapolis. One day in the lobby, a beautiful young lady came to the desk and asked to use a vacuum cleaner. They were all on loan, so she went back to her room. I asked the clerk, with whom I had become friendly, who the lovely lady was. He said her name was Jan, and she was Miss North Dakota. She was spending the summer doing modeling work in Minneapolis.

Shortly, a tenant returned a vacuum. I scooped it up and said I would take it to "Jan." She was surprised to see a U.S. Marine in uniform standing at the door with a vacuum cleaner. I told her frankly it was my way of meeting her. We became good friends and one night we saw Victor Borge live at the Minneapolis auditorium. I will never forget that night. Later, I created a buzz with a photo hanging in my locker at the Marine base. It was Jan sitting in my lap. I never admitted nor denied any suggestions made as to the nature of our relationship. Sadly, the truth is we were just friends. But I never confessed it to those love-starved Marines.

Recently, I saw a Borge concert on PBS. He was still great. And once again, I wondered what ever happened to Jan, Miss North Dakota. Another ship in the night.

Where Was The Gun Control Issue In The Campaign?

Did you notice that hardly any candidate during the recent election spent more than 10 seconds on his "gun control plan." I noticed, because I would have been firing off editorials and op-ed pieces to several newspapers. Perhaps it has something to do with a recent Zogby poll in which 70% of the respondents said they favored better enforcement of existing guns laws (over 20,000!) instead of creating new laws.

Seven men recently broke out of a Texas prison. They took with them many weapons obtained during the breakout. Then, they robbed a sporting-goods store and stole an arm-load full of high-powered weapons. They also killed a police officer. No doubt there was a civilian in that store on or about the time of the robbery, filling out the forms and having his or her background checked with the F.B.I. The point we, even those of us who once enforced the Federal gun laws, have been making for decades is that criminals don't obey gun-registration laws. Only honest citizens do. Maybe this White House and Congress will get on the right track. Take the small percentage of "gun predators" off the street with vigorous enforcement of existing laws and gun crime will drop like a rock.

The Alleged Suspect

It is rather sad that we have reached a point where nobody in the media can say the truth - for fear they will get sued or boycotted. My particular pet peeve is the use of the words "alleged" and "suspect" when they are obviously done just to be politically correct. The two this week are whoppers. The guy who broke into a British Airways 747 cockpit and tried to crash the plane was subdued and strapped to a seat for the remainder of the flight. Reuters ran a picture of the bruised gentleman and called him the "alleged hijacker." If he didn't do it, who did? Were there any other men on that plane who crashed into the cockpit, were beat-up, subdued, and then tied-down in a seat? There is no need to allege anything.

Michael McDermott, the fellow who killed seven people in Massachusetts was found sitting next to two of the bodies, with his AK-47 and other weapons. He is described as a "suspect" in the murders. Did the real murderer tell him to sit there and tossed the guns at his feet? Naturally, he plead not guilty. Everyone is entitled to a fair trial. I wish that all of these people would either kill themselves when their shooting spree is over (many do) or have the decency to plead guilty. We waste of a lot of jury time and money trying "suspects" who were caught with a smoking gun and standing over a dead body.

At least Timothy McVeigh has asked to expedite his execution. If only he will give a full confession and tell who else was involved. He should not be allowed to die until somebody convinces him to make that confession. I think I could do it. Call me. I'm damn serious. Ex-Marine, ex-ATF, CIA, etc. I can talk his talk, because I too am not happy with what happened at Ruby Ridge and Waco - for openers. I'll send this column to the Governor. Who knows?

COPYRIGHT 2000 Richard C. Rhodes

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