Time:  early sixties maybe late fifties.

We were steaming along of course and I just happened to be in the aft batt head where Lewellyn, an extrememly large type auxilliaryman was taking care of some chores.  He was, in fact, unstopping the urinal.
 He had in his possession his tools of course and some rags and a rather large bucket in which he carried his tools.  Picture this, a stopped up urinal that had been stopped for at least an hour or so but had been in continuous use.  This left the urinal almost level full.  After closing the drain stop down below, Big Lew then proceeded to take the trap out of the line.  Never having been known for using his head other than to hit it against the low point drains, resulting in a permanent open sore on his forehead, he removed the trap allowing the urinal to discharge its two or three gallon contents upon himself and all over the deck.  He quickly yelled, "get me something to catch this in."  I just as quickly yelled back, "use the bucket" and he did.  The bucket quickly filled and he frantically looked around for a place to empty it.  Seeing his distress I volunteered, "pour it in the urinal."  Can you believe this?  He poured it back in the urinal; remember the trap??  It was lying on the deck beside him.  A big dark cloud came upon Lews face and I promptly left the scene and spent the next six hours in the conning tower.  Next day everything was OK. 

 

# two

We were returning from westpac.  Our mooring instructions were to go to Broadway Pier and moor port side to. This is nothing special because all boats returning from westpac do the same thing.  We were very lucky to have this very experienced ship handling officer as a part of the Segundo complement.  He also was not very modest in that he had no qualms telling everyone what an excellent job he did on the bridge.  He even told my good friend Hotch that anytime the skipper wanted to make an impression he would have him bring the ship in.  More on this later. 

Let me set the scene for you.  Broadway pier, lined and crowded with wives and children and us all lined up topside in our whites.  Don't forget that ComEleventhNavalDistrict (Rear Admiral) had his office in the large tall bldg overlooking Broadway pier.  Present on the pier were two Navy bands, each doing their thing, A couple of TV Film trucks with crews doing their thing and all these various VIPs.  Everyone is doing what they do best, milling around.  My friend Hotch was standing beside another good shipmate by the name of Raincoat Charlie. Charlie was from Guam, a big fellow but with a sense of humor.  Suddenly Hotch sees this big fat gal standing on the pier waving frantically and so he says to Charlie in a mild mannered voice, "How would you like to have something like that waiting on you?"  Charlie, with a funny expression on his face looked Hotch straight in the eye and said, "That my wife."  Then Hotch, struggling to salvage something out of this exchange (maybe his life), said, "Hell Charlie, I knew that."   Moral of this story.  If you're going to talk about unknowns, do a little research first.

Back to the shiphandler.  We're making our approach and beyond the point of no return when our ship handler discovered that with the combination of the tide and ships speed he was in well over his head.  He backed down with a show of force but it just wasn't enough.  We managed to take out about forty feet of Broadway Pier with our bow.  Floating lumber and big sticks floating around all over the place.  Looked good on TV too. Com11 might have had something to say but I wasn't privy to any of that.

 

# 3

This is absolutely the end.  Underway of course as usual and there was a group of us in the aft torp room having quite a session.  You know, Lying and cheating and telling sea stories, etc.  I'm not sure who all were there but Little Dave, Gilmore, Eskridge, Threatt, myself and Pittman ring a bell.  It all started out with teeth.  Somebody got on Pittman for having false teeth and he naturally defended himself by saying that he could eat anything anybody else could.  Where upon I think he made a bet with someone that he could eat an apple with no problems.  Went to the messdeck, got an apple and came on  back where he started eating this apple.  With the very first bite he flipped his teeth out onto the deck where they broke so that he had to get some new ones at next port of call. 

Following that little episode I think Little Dave broke out his exerciser. As you know Little Dave at the time was into body building and so he had this little thing that was made out
of spring steel.  It was kinda like a hand cruncher to make your grip stronger except that it was much bigger and it was to be used across your chest to develop your arms and chest muscles.  To completely collapse this thing was somewhat of an accomplishment.  Everone wanted to try it.  I forget who was trying it when he put one of the handles against his chest and used both of his arms to pull the other end into lhis chest. 
Believe it was either Gilmore or Eskridge but whoever it was, the end that was against his chest slipped out and caught him under the nose.  Needless to say, that little session was over for the day and I think Doc put about three stitches in his nose.  What things we'll do for entertainment!!!  It was at this point that I broke
out the sewing machine and started stiching dungarees, shirts and socks together.

finis
Bob Lawson