We were in Hong Kong and I was on 14 LIBERTY DAY restriction (remember, we didn't get a whole hell of a lot of liberty
days) for some SMALL infraction in the Philippines.
Everyone was excited about being able to go ashore and get suits
made (among other pursuits) and there I was stuck aboard - not even able to go on the pier! Well, my good friend Bobby
Lawson, QM1(SS) arranged to have a tailor (?) come down to the pier and measure me for one fine suit. Not being able
to go ashore he, the Chinaman, had to come aboard - now how we did this on an American Warship in around 1960 in Hong Kong
without the OD finding out, I definitely don't remember (or want to).
Anyway - he came aboard and I was waiting for him in the superstructure by the Forward Escape Trunk. If you
remember there wasn't a whole lot of standing room there but he commenced his measurements. I had to get on my knees
while he measured my sleeves, chest and neck; then I had to stand (bent over of course) so he could measure my inseam
and waist. I had picked out an unusual choice from his swatch of cloth kinda resembling and 1800 Victorian lampshade
pattern - damn I thought that would really look outstanding! Next I picked out the type, style and leather for my "tailor
made shoes" (what the hell did I know!)...I picked out some alligator skin, loafers but they
were of a shade of light
yellow or beige. I gave him a down payment - very smart of me - didn't want him just taking ALL of my money and running
off. About 3 or so days passed and
someone told me - "Yeo - someone on the pier to see you." Went topside
and there was my man!
Had a box and a suitbag over his arm - sonofabitch was I set! The Topside Watch retrieved
my "goods" and gave the Chinaman the rest of my payment. I hurried down below and unzipped the
bag and sure enough
there was my suit - beautiful pattern and all! I tried on the trousers first and there must have some mistake - the
waist was about 3 inches too large and the trouser length was 3 inches too short!....and not only that but the crotch was
down about my knees.
I looped a belt through what must have been the "training aid" for the Hong Kong seamstress
union because it had about 14 loops! I put on the suitcoat and the sleeves could have fit Wilt Chamberlain - about 43
inch length - the back of the suitcoat rested right about belt loop level (I guess they wanted everyone to see all of the
loops!) and the material that was missing from there was in the lapels, because they were about 8 inches wide and the corner
of the points ended up about the middle of my shoulder (which were padded well enough to play football in).....Not done
yet - I opened the shoe box and lo and behold I almost had to cover my eyes from the brightness -the bastards were bright!
Had measured my feet by me standing on a blank piece of paper so the size HAD to be right - Wrong they were about size 15
- just about right for the Ringling Brothers and Barnum Baily circus clowns. Well no one had a bigger laugh than Bobby
Lawson - I don't know what he paid that guy or if he was just a dockworker that Lawson found but I proudly wore that suit
and shoes around the Forward Torpedo Room anytime someone wanted a laugh......Orange shoes all - NO Shit!!
Addendum:
Oh yes, no zipper, four nice buttons.
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