GRUNT

Term of affection used to denote that filthy, sweaty, dirt-encrusted, foot-sore, camouflage-painted, ripped-trousered, tired, sleepy, beautiful, little son of a bitch
who has kept the wolf away from the door for over two hundred years.

from Green Side Out by Maj. H. Gene Duncan, USMC Ret.
 

GRUNT'S AND WATER IN NAM

Giles had been the skipper of Kilo Company for more than eleven months
and was profoundly weary, although still confident and ever professional.
In fact, even on Hill 109 this morning, his Marines shaved.  Where water was
scarce, this was achieved by pouring a half cup into an empty C-ration
peach can, then dipping in a washcloth and wiping your face as clean as
possible.  After lathering and scraping, your poured a little water off to rinse
your razor, then produced the washcloth again to clean face and hands.
Last but not least, your perpetual plastic spoon was rinsed and wiped,
so that each morning, each man had had a bath and a shave,
and had done his dishes.

from Operation Buffalo, USMC fight for the DMZ, by Keith William Nolan

TANKER

That dusty, crusty, grease-covered, dirty, sweaty, bright-eyed, fuzzie-faced,
haircut-needing, beer-drinking, underrated, over-worked, underpaid,
oversexed, little shit, who can take a tank and do more battlefield damage in
ten minutes than a Grunt squad can do all day.

from Brown Side Out by Maj. H. Gene Duncan, USMC Ret.

ON FORMER MARINES

"There are Marines here that were drafted and only spent two to three years
in the Corps and are more Marine than some I know that retired after thirty years."

spoken to me at a MCTA reunion by the late John Cornelius, M/Sgt. USMC (Ret.)

WARRANT OFFICERS

God made Warrant Officers to give the junior enlisted Marine someone to worship,
the senior enlisted Marine someone to envy, the junior officer someone to tolerate,
and the senior officer someone to respect.

from Fiction and Fact From Dunk's Almanac by Maj. H. Gene Duncan, USMC Ret.

ON MARINES
Marines are about the most "Peculiar Breed" of human beings I have ever witnessed.    They treat their service as if it were some kind of cult, plastering their emblem on almost everything they own, making themselves  up to look like insane fanatics with haircuts to ungentlemanly lengths, worshipping their commandant almost as if he was God, and making weird animal noises like a band of savages.  They'll fight like rabid dogs at the drop of a hat just for the sake of a little action, and are the cockiest SOB's I have ever known.  Most have the foulest mouths and drink well beyond man's normal limits, but their high spirits and sense of brotherhood set them apart and generally speaking, of the United States Marines I've come in contact with, are the most professional soldiers and the finest men I have had the pleasure to meet.

An Anonymous Canadian Citizen
 
 

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they've made a difference
to this world.  The Marines don't have that problem."   ---Ronald Reagan
 

THE UPPER RANKS AS SEEN BY THE LOWER RANKS

THE GENERAL
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to GOD.

THE COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with GOD.

THE LIEUTENANT COLONEL
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in indoor swimming pool.
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.

THE MAJOR
Barely clears Quonset hut.
Looses tug of war with switch engine.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

THE CAPTAIN
Makes high marks when trying to leap building.
Gets run over by locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.

THE FIRST LIEUTENANT
Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat if properly instructed in the use of Mae West.
Talks to walls.

THE SECOND LIEUTENANT
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building.
Bays “Look at the Choo-Choo.”
Wets himself with a water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.

THE NON-COMMISSIONED OFFICER
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in his teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
HE IS GOD.

Original author unknown.