The Rude And The Obnoxious!

I work nights.  Most of the time I even like it.  Mostly because I can't stand to get up early.  I'm a night owl have been for a long time.  There are times however when it isn't exactly what one would call advantageous.

Picture this:  it's Saturday about 9 am.  You're in bed because as a normal twenty something who also happens to work the night shift you didn't crawl into bed until about 4am (or later.)  You're asleep, you mind playing images of Krycek (or whatever or whoever you're obsessed with) for your unconscious enjoyment when suddenly the shrill, piercing, noise disrupts your dream assaulting you with cold hard reality.  You bolt upright at the intrusion.  What the hell?  The noise disturbs the quiet solitude of your bedroom again.  It's your phone.  The one you forgot to turn off.  You grab the offending device.

"Hello?"

"May I speak to _______."

"Speaking."

"My name is Obnoxious Twit from XYZ company and I'm calling to...."

"I'm not interested."

"The product x...."

"I'm not interested."

"But it'll really help...."

"Look, I'm not interested and you woke me up."

"I'm sorry."

"Bye." Click.

ARGH! Another damn telemarketer.  I can't stand telemarketers.  Actually that is not correct.  I hate telemarketers.  They irk me no end.  Given the choice between starving and working as one I'd sooner starve.  How do they live with themselves knowing that they make a living by pissing people off on a regular basis?  How do they look themselves in the mirror knowing that their purpose at work is to disturb people when they are trying to sleep or eat?

The thing that bothers me the most is that in theory I shouldn't be getting these phone calls.  I have an unlisted phone number.  Unfortunately, the credit card companies with whom I have a card, my crapola cable company, my ISP, and Domino's pizza all have it as well.  No doubt one if not all of these rat bastard entities have sold this number to some other rat bastard entity who will call my house when I'm asleep to pester me to purchase some crap I don't need.  Exactly why the hell am I paying extra money for an unlisted number?  I seriously don't know.  Perhaps someone could clue me in because it would appear that my supposedly unlisted phone number is available to every Tom, Dick, and Harry with enough money to pay for a mailing list.  Argh!

Now imagine it is that same Saturday morning.  It is now an hour later and despite the heavy thumping on your ceiling caused by oh so not light on their feet neighbors, you've just managed to drift off to sleep again.  This time the ringer is off but somewhere in the back of your mind you hear the familiar voice of say a sibling.  You pop your head up and find yourself listening to your answering machine recording said sibling.

"Get up you lazy bum!"

You pick up the phone because this sibling has an annoying tendency to whine incessantly on your answering machine when you don't answer.

"What?!"

"Did I wake you?"

If looks could kill your sibling would be a dead woman.

"Yes."

"Why are you sleeping?  You should be up by now."

If the telemarketers don't get you your obnoxious relatives will.  I can't stand when people call me because they think I should be up.  Excuse me?  I should be up?  Listen, I am an adult.  I'll get up when I'm damn good and ready and not one minute before.  If I want to sleep until noon I'm entitled.  Hell, I don't have to be at work until 3:45 I'll still get to work on time.  Often times I don't get home until after midnight.  I cannot just go to bed.  I have e-mail to check, web sites to browse, newsgroups and mailing lists to keep up with and my own web sites to work on.  Not to mention fanficton to work on and the radio shows I tape three nights a week that need to be listened to before the tape is recorded on again.  So it's entirely possible that I didn't get to bed until 4am.  In fact I often don't get to bed until 4am.  I am entitled to get 8 hours of sleep just like anyone who works during the day.  I don't call your house at 1am because I'm up and I think you should be too.  It's considered rude.  So why is it that because my hours don't fit in with what everyone considers normal, people don't consider it rude to wake me up when I'm sleeping?  And when you mention this people act like you're insane for asking them to be considerate.  What the hell is wrong with these people?  I swear one of these days someone's going to wake me up when I'm trying to sleep and I'm going to wait until about 2am and call the asshole up and wake them up and see how they like it.  Maybe that will teach them a lesson.  I doubt it but maybe it'll help.  Maybe I should just start taking hostages instead.

Since this rant was originally written the amount of obnoxious phone calls from telemarketers has only increased.  I have put my number on the "Do Not Call" List.  I only hope that the telemarketers don't win their lawsuit to stop it.