Thoughts on Turning 50… five ohhhh…..

I awoke…. This was a good thing

I wasn’t drooling, 
Could still feed myself
And dementia (as far as I could tell) had not set in.
I also didn’t need to use depends or a colostomy bag.

My daughter (almost 14) thought it was great.  ‘Mom, one-half a century old.’  She thinks its quite funny and spent most of the day reiterating the fact that things were wrong with me because “I was old”.

My son (21) didn’t even bother to call me and it cut me to the bone.

 My work mates thought making fun of me the day before my birthday was the way to handle things.  They taunted and had a great time.  I kept reminding them that  “at least I made it”.   I don’t think they truly understand the great significance of that sentence.

I looked in the mirror and realized I hadn’t changed that much from 49 years old, but that the changes that have taken place on my face and body were quite marked in comparison to my own memory of myself.  The one I keep in my minds eye.  I have promised myself never to lean forward and to keep my hands at my temples at all times with slight pressure to pull the skin tight.  Also had major thoughts of crazy glue in front of the ears, holding the skin.

My husband told me he loved me.   And I believe him.  He bought me a beautiful hand designed ring by Frank Ruebel that I had seen and coveted.  It is rare that I do that with a piece of jewelry, but what a nice way to mark my big five ohhhhh.

My mother called at 6a.m. while I was brushing my teeth.  First she wished me a happy b’day and then when I sounded groggy, she told me that I should get up earlier!!!!  She also said that whatever way I was in the morning, would be the way I was going to spend my 50^th year.  I told her I was brushing my teeth and if that was true, at least I would have teeth for the next year.

My mother sent me a big box.  Her baby girl (her only girl) was turning five ohhhhh.  The box contained 4 amber goblets from my paternal grandmothers wedding day back around 1918.  who knows how long they had been around before then?  There were only 4 left and now I have them with strict instructions that they are never to leave the family.  I am confused about who they should be left to when I croak because my children both have different last names then my maiden name.  I wont ask her…..

I still wonder when my brain and thoughts are going to catch up to my aging body.  My mom says it may never happen.

I don’t have gray pubic hairs!

We went to the Renn Faire the other day and I saw people that looked very very familiar.  The problem was that they looked familiar in my memory.  The people I knew are mostly dead.  I was remembering people from when I was in my 20’s.  These young people were spitting images of people I knew 30 years ago.   Still haven’t quite figured that one out.

I am glad that at 50 I still believe most of the things I believed in when I was in my 20’s and 30’s….

I have no regrets.

I have some great stories.

I still have so much to learn.