These are the
deranged ramblings of the kind that
were first recorded in Rimbaud's "Season in Hell"...the thoughts of
oneself when one is left to ponder the thoughts of the self. When one
is left all by his lonesome and begins to think of the inherent nature
in ourselves which leads us to all kinds of abandonment, misadventures
of the heart and of the soul, compassion, enlightenment,
de-enlightenment, the ignition of the mind's eye which is usually held
dormant for fear of insanity or misunderstanding or unbelief in the
power of the spontaneous mind...I believe that the power of the flash
of the spontaneous mind has it's origins within the universe and that
it is a force to be reckoned with; creatively, that will bring the
loose ends of chaos together and bring about a world understanding and
a world peace. I will in all my own personal power and wisdom try to
spread this doctrine, however sorrily misjudged and misunderstood, and
try to bring about in myself and the friends and warm acquaintances
that orbit my little world here on earth U.S.A. the recovery of
stumbling spirituality and of the abdication of antiquated conventions
of the thought process. I will try to not become famous by writing this
or that (Songs, verse, pornographic fabrications, what have you...) and
will try to be utmost sincere in the production of all"my art"...giving
no thought at all to the millions of dollars that could be generated
just by someone stealing this garbage after I'm supposedly "famous" and
making a fucking mint on what was rightfully my family's. Anyway--not
to digress--I will try my best to become a legend in my own mind with
my own kind of fame and own kind of illusions of grandeur. I will
expound unusual word groupings that will astound the masses. I will
climb the refuse of the mind with a Bayonette of love. I will choose
not to be understood by the culturally elite rather finding more the
solace of the sun at my window or the conversations with bums on a
Laguna Beach boulevard. I will see the face of God in everyone and I
will live to see the face of God while my eyes are fixed in this world
and my heart beats steady in my
chest...
( Albert Estiamba Jr. Redondo Beach, Ca. January 2, 1996. 6:39 P.M.) |