I Wanna Be a Bear

I wish I were a bear. If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months.  
I could get used to that.  
 
And another thing; before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. That wouldn't bother me either.  
 
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business;you swat anyone who  
bothers your cubs.  
 
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.  
 
You get to have all the lovin' you want before you hibernate; sleep during the  
birth of the cubs, and not have any stretch marks.  
 
Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up. He expects you to have  
hairy legs and excess body fat. And he finds that sexy.  
 
I wish I were a bear.