Every once in a while a book comes along that makes a big splash in Unitarian Universalist circles, often times books that seem to explain who we are. Ministers read them in their study circles, preach sermons on them, recommend them to the book clubs in their congregations. For example:

Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There

by David Brooks (2000)

Are you a Bobo?

·       Do you believe that spending $15,000 on a media center is vulgar, but that spending $15,000 on a slate shower stall is a sign that you are at one with the Zenlike rhythms of nature?

·       Does your newly renovated kitchen look like an aircraft hangar with plumbing? Did you select your new refrigerator on the grounds that mere freezing isn't cold enough?

·       Would you spend a little more for socially conscious toothpaste—the kind that doesn't actually kill germs, it just asks them to leave?

The Cultural Creatives: How 50 Million People Are Changing the World

by Paul H. Ray (2000)

Are You a Cultural Creative?

·       Do you dislike all the emphasis in modern culture on success and “making it,” on getting and spending, on wealth and luxury goods?

·       Do you care deeply about the destruction of the environment and would pay higher taxes or prices to clean it up and to stop global warming?

·       Are you unhappy with both the left and the right in politics and want to find a new way that does not simply steer a middle course?

Here’s my pick for the book that really does a really good job of explaining what, exactly, a Unitarian Universalist is:

Fish Go Woof

by Miranda Maxwell-Hyslop (2003)

A split-page mix-and-match book

Do fish go woof, quack, or blub? Mix and match animals and noises, and create the most outlandish-looking creatures in this hilariously instructive, sturdy split-page novelty book. Colorful, quirky, fun—a guaranteed giggle-maker!

[Make a few different animals]

Universalist Christian Humanist

Unitarian Trancendentalist Atheist

Earth-centered UU Agnostic

Seriously, though, the best book for finding out both who we are and who we're not is:

Moral Politics: How Liberals and Conservatives Think

by George Lakoff

(1996, 2002)

Cognitive Scientist, specifically a Linguist

Metaphors for the way we perceive the world

Ruling metaphor for the United States is Nation as Family

Two main types of families

The Strict Father Model

The father's job is to protect and support the family. Children are to respect and obey him. The father's moral duty is to teach his children right from wrong, with punishment that is typically physical and can be painful when they do wrong. It is assumed that parental discipline in childhood is required to develop the internal discipline that adults will need in order to be moral and to succeed. Morality and success are linked through discipline. This focus on discipline is seen as a form of love—"tough love."

The mother is in the background, not strong enough to protect and support the family or fully discipline the children on her own. Her job is to uphold the authority of the father and to care for and comfort the children. As a "mommy," she tends to be overly soft-hearted and might well coddle or spoil the child. The father must make sure this does not happen, lest the children become weak and dependent.

Competition is necessary for discipline. Children are to become self-reliant through discipline and the pursuit of self-interest. Those who succeed as adults are the good (moral) people and parents are not to "meddle" in their lives. Those children who remain dependent—who were spoiled, overly willful, or recalcitrant—undergo further discipline or are turned out to face the discipline of the outside world.

When everyone is acting morally and responsibly, seeking their own self-interest in a self-disciplined fashion, everyone benefits. Thus, instilling morality and discipline in your children is also acting for the good of society as a whole.

The Nurturant Parent Model

In the Nurturant Parent family, it is assumed that the world is basically good. And, however dangerous and difficult the world may be at present, it can be made better, and it is your responsibility to help make it better.  Correspondingly, children are born good, and parents can make them better, and it is their responsibility to do so.  Both parents (if there are two) are responsible for running the household and raising the children, although they may divide their activities.  The parents' job is to be responsive to their children, nurture them, and raise their children to nurture others. Nurturance requires empathy and responsibility.

Now each of theses world views has a distinctive morality, theory of child development, and sense of justice.

Strict Father Morality: In Strict Morality, the Strict Father is the Moral Authority, determining right from wrong, and protecting the family from a world that is chaotic and threatening. Evil is a major force in the world that must be fought using Moral Strength, which has the highest moral priority. Evil is both external and internal. Internal evil is fought with self-discipline and self-denial to achieve "self-control." "Weakness," and the tolerance of it, is immoral since it implies being unable to stand up to evil. Punishment is required to balance the moral books: If you do wrong, you must suffer a negative consequence.

Competition is necessary for a moral world; without it, people would not have to develop discipline and so would not become moral beings. Worldly success is an indicator of sufficient moral strength; lack of success suggests lack of sufficient discipline. Dependency is immoral. The undisciplined will be weak and poor, and deservedly so.

Strict Father Morality demonstrates a natural Moral Order: Those who are moral should be in power. The Moral Order legitimizes traditional power relations as being natural, determining a hierarchy of Moral Authority: God above Man; Man above Nature; Adults above Children; Western Culture above Non-western Culture; America above other nations. (There are other traditional aspects of the Moral Order that are less accepted than they used to be: Straights above Gays; Christians above non-Christians; Men above Women; White above Non-whites.)

Since to participate in the promotion or preservation of immorality is itself immoral, it is a moral requirement to eradicate immorality—through "tough love" if possible but through punishment if necessary—in every aspect of life, both public and private, domestic and foreign.

Strict Father Child development: Children develop self-discipline, self-reliance, and other virtues primarily through rewards and punishment, a system of "tough love". Since parents know the difference between right and wrong and children still do not, obedience to the parents is very important. Moral development basically lasts only as long as childhood; it's important to get it right the first time, because there is no "second chance".

Strict Father Justice: The world may be a difficult place to live, but it is basically just; people usually get what they deserve. The difficulties in one's life serve as a test to sort the deserving from the undeserving.

Nurturant Parent Morality: In the Nurturant Parent family, the highest moral values are Empathy and Responsibility. Effective nurturing requires empathy, which is feeling what someone else feels—parents have to figure out what all their baby's cries mean in order to take care of him or her.  Responsibility is critical, since being a good nurturer means being responsible not only for looking after the well-being of others, but also being responsible to ourselves so that we can take care of others.  Nurturant parents raise children to be empathetic toward others, responsible to themselves, and responsible to others who are or will be in their care. Empathy connects us to other people in our families, our neighborhoods, and in the larger world.  Being responsible to others and oneself requires cooperation.  In society, nurturant morality is expressed as social responsibility.  This requires cooperation rather than competition, and a recognition of interdependence.

Nurturant Parent Child development: Children develop morality primarily through interacting with and observing good people, especially good parents. Punishment is necessary in some cases, but also has the potential to backfire, causing children to adopt more violent or more anti-social ways. Though children should, in general, obey their parents, they will develop best if allowed to question their parents' decisions, to hear justifications for their parents' rules, etc. Moral development is a life-long process, and almost no one is so perfect as not to need improvement.

Nurturant Parent Justice: The world is not without justice, but it is far from the ideal of justice. Many people, for example, do not seem properly rewarded for their hard work and dedication. We must work hard to improve everyone's condition.

Now these are what Lakoff calls “Radial Catagories”

Most of us understand both kinds of metaphors: progressives can “get” John Wayne movies, and conservatives can understand Oprah. Lakoff calls it being multi-dimensional. We use different models in different parts of our lives.

[More Fish Go Woof]

Blue collar worker: Strict Father at Home, Nurturant Parent in the Union, either/or in politics….

Academic: Nurturant Parent at Home, Strict Father Intellectual at work, Nurturant Parent in politics….

One thing I like about Lakoff is that he explains both worldviews—especially the parts about each group that the other group finds so hard to understand.

But something I like even more is that his concepts explain us—Unitarian Universalists—in a ways I haven’t seen before. For example:

In the second edition of his book, Lakoff lists several different Types of Progressives:

1. Socio-economic: All issues are a matter of money and class.

2. Identity Politics: Our group deserves its share now.

3. Environmentalists: Respect for the earth and a healthy future.

4. Civil Libertarians: Freedoms are threatened and have to be protected.

5. Spiritual progressives: Religion and spirituality nurture us and are central to a fulfilling life.

6. Anti-authoritarians: We have to fight the illegitimate use of authority.

More importantly, he talks about the values that are espoused by each of these types.

All types of progressives adhere to the central moral values of EMPATHY and RESPONSIBILITY. But the differences between them com from different priorities, just as the difference between Strict Father Morality and Nurturant Parent Morality comes from differing priorities.

Socio-economic: FAIRNESS is the key value here, along with EQUALITY and OPPORTUNITY

Identity Politics: The shared values of RESPONSIBILITY, FAIRNESS, TRUST, COOPERATION and COMMUNITY-BUILDING all figure prominently in extending rights to all.

Environmentalists: At the heart of environmentalism is the value of SUSTAINABILITY. EMPATHY and PROTECTION are the primary values.

Civil Libertarians: Issues of FREEDOM, LIBERTY, DEMOCRACY (equal sharing of power), and INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS are paramount.

Spiritual progressives: SERVICE, COMPASSION, and COMMUNITY, connect spiritual progressives to other people and the world, and are central to their spiritual practice. For spiritual progressives, EMPATHY is the paramount value and RESPONSIBILITY is central to the spiritual practice of maintaining communities and service to others. Spiritual progressives, of course, seek meaningful FULFILLMENT in life for themselves and others.

Anti-authoritarians: The central values for anti-authoritarians are FAIRNESS, FREEDOM from oppression, and PROTECTION of those oppressed. Anti-authoritarians also pursue HONEST AND OPEN COMMUNICATION as a defense against the control of information by anti-authoritarian forces.

I think that in many UU congregations, different types of progressives set the tone for entire community. So we have particular flavors of Unitarian Universalism congregations:

We have congregations that are predominately:

[More Fish Go Woof]

Civil Libertarian Humanists

Socio-economic Theists

Earth-Centered Environmentalists

You get the idea…Mix and Match.

Now here’s my take on this. If our strength is in our diversity, in both theology and social justice work, then prioritizing Spiritual Progressive values in our congregations is the best way to ensure that diversity.

Here’s how Lakoff describes Spiritual Progressives: [They] have a nurturant form of religion or spirituality, their spiritual experience has to do with their connection to other people and the world, and their spiritual practice has to do with service to other people and to their community. Spiritual progressives span the full range from Catholics and Protestants to Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Goddess worshippers, and pagan members of Wicca.

(We are spiritual progressives par excellance)

So, what sets us apart?

Our tradition, more that almost any of the others Lakoff mentions, is built on EMPATHY and RESPONSIBILITY. It's in our religious DNA.

Governor-elect John Winthrop preached to his fellow "undertakers" aboard the Arbella, lead ship of the first group of ships of religious dissenters to set sail for New England in 1630, a sermon he titled, "A Modell of Christian Charity." Winthrop declared, that with the "eies of all people" upon them, they must be "knitt together in this worke as one man" in the bonds of love, that the "Citty upon a Hill" might be seen and thus inspire emulation. RESPONSIBILITY

Hosea Ballou: The atoning spirit of love was available not only to Christians, but to all people, irrespective of “names, sects, denominations, people, or kingdoms.” In no case would anyone be sent to eternal punishment by a loving God. No sin was that great; salvation was universal. EMPATHY

William Ellery Channing: His 1838 address, "Self-Culture", highlights the importance of the development of the individual, the moral, religious, intellectual, and social aspects of character. RESPONSIBILITY. And his Great End in Religious Instruction is all about nurturing, especially through EMPATHY.

And both values are all over our principles

EMPATHY in the form of "Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations" and "Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations"

RESPONSIBILITY in the form of "A free and responsible search for truth and meaning" and "The right conscience and the use of the democratic process...."

I believe we need more of these values prioritized in this world. So, how do we pass them on?

Follow Lakoff's suggestion: "I think the issue to bring progressives together should be this most central of all issues—raising children to become responsible, empathetic adults.” This is the one issue out of all the rest that Lakoff sees are primary importance.

Best place to promote this? Religious institutions. In our congregations.

Conservatives know this. That’s why James Dobson’s Focus on the Family has its own zip code. It’s why their website is www.family.org.

We need to be very intentional about offering something else…and we definitely do have something else. As UUA President Bill Sinkford puts it:

In the face of the well-organized and well-funded dominance of the fundementalist religious right in the public square, I believe that we are called to offer a liberal religious alternative. I am not willing, nor should you be, to cede the moral high ground to religious fundementalists, of any faith tradition, who preach that there is only one way to be religious, only one scripture worthy of being followed, only one way to be a family, only one way to lead a good life. There must be a liberal religious alternative. And, my friends, we're it.

So we raise spiritually progressive, responsible, empathetic adults...and as Unitarian Universalists, we teach them about our particular sect and peculiar notions (like our inclusive pluralism in both the religious and secular worlds).

We teach them that being in religious community is important, even desirable.

And we let them know we want them to be part of our religious community, not just as children, or youth, but as adults.

Our identity as spiritual progressives set us apart from religious fundamentalists. And our inclusive pluralism—of different types of progressives and different spiritualities—sets us apart from other spiritual progressives. That is our unique identity.

So, EMPATHY, RESPONSIBILITY; SERVICE, COMPASSION, COMMUNITY; FULFILLMENT IN THIS WORLD… FAIRNESS, TRUST, SUSTAINABILITY…LIBERTY, DEMOCRACY, OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION: These are the passwords we want to give to our future generations. And this is our Heritage of Mind and Heart. It is the heart and soul of our faith, the key to who we are. As our Transylvanian Unitarian forebear Francis David put it: We Need Not Think Alike to Love Alike.