Can Unitarian Universalism become a family religion? One that raises lifelong UUs as a matter of course? Perhaps. But
it will take a major shift in thinking, something along the lines of what
Diana Garland sees when she calls for a "shift from relying on Sunday School and other church programs for Christian [religious] education
to recognizing that family relationships are usually more influential than educational programs in Christian [Unitarian Universalist
Identity] formation."
This is a difficult shift for Unitarian Universalism to make because both the Unitarians and the Universalists were instrumental
in setting the tone for religious education in the twentieth century, the basic premise of which was child-centered education.
Indeed, the standard UU religious education program today still consists of age-segregated classes for younger children and
some sort of youth group for teens.
While this type of religious education program may produce adults who know a thing or two about world religions,
ethics, and the Jewish and Christian roots of our culture, it isn't necessarily producing a lot of UUs--conventional wisdom
says we keep somewhere between 10 and 15 percent of the children and youth who go through our religious education programs.
Fortunately, things are changing. The
vision statement for the new Lifespan Faith Development curriculum recognizes "the need for community, affirming the importance of families,
relationships and connections between and among the generations." And more and more congregations are offering families something
other than the standard parents-upstairs/children-downstairs Sunday morning experience (check out the
Family Chalice program of First Unitarian Church in Minneapolis).
Our association already welcomes a wider variety of family forms than other, more traditional, religious organizations.
It's time to make a serious effort to give those families the tools they need to make Unitarian Univeralism truly a family
religion.
So, where does Unitarian Universalism stand in terms of family ministry? In some regards we are woefully behind. But
in one important area we are way ahead of the field.
As I noted last week, Baylor University's Diana Garland has come up with a series of shifts in focus congregations need
to go through as they develop comprehensive family ministry programs ("
Family Ministry: Defining Perspectives").
The very first shift Garland mentions is a "shift from defining family as a married couple and their children, if they
have any, to defining family as the persons who commit themselves to attempt to be family for one another." The work our association
has done in this area, from the Welcoming Congregation program to our current support of civil marriage as a civil right (see
the article in yesterday's
Boston Globe), demonstrates just how much we value diverse family forms.
Just as our congregations have covenanted together to affirm the inherent worth and dignity of every individual, we also
affirm the inherent worth and dignity of every family unit. What is second nature for us is often a source of contention for
other denominations, keeping them from ministering to the full range of families that may want to be part of their faith community.
Of course we are far from perfect in this and many other areas. But the work we have done over the last few decades has
made us an example to other religious groups that would like to welcome families of all kinds.
Another note on family ministry: I've added a link to the UUA's Family Matters Task Force to my links page.
My interest in seeing congregations become multigenerational communities of faith is an extension of my passion for family
ministry. I believe that multigenerational communities of faith are clearly the most hospitable environment for liberal religious
families to flourish in our society. Many Unitarian Universalist congregations in my district are becoming more family-friendly,
and they seem to be the congregations that are not just surviving, but thriving. Over the next few weeks, I'd like to look
at the what it takes for a congregation to become more family friendly, and I'll be using the work of Diana Garland, Chair
of the School of Social Work and Director of the Center for Family and Community Ministries at Baylor University, to put family
ministry in the context of Lifespan Faith Development within the Unitarian Universalist movement.
This week, I'd like to share the major shifts in focus Garland sees in congregations that truly minister to families.
I think we're way ahead of some other faith traditions in many of the following areas. And we're also just beginning to see
the need to shift our way of doing church in other areas.
Shift From: Defining family as a married couple and their children, if they have any...
To: Defining family as the persons who commit themselves to attempt to be family for one another.
Shift From: Relying on Sunday School and other church programs for Christian [religious] education...
To: Recognizing that family relationships are usually more influential than educational programs in Christian [Unitarian
Universalist Identity] formation.
Shift From: Defining family ministry by the programs the church offers for families (e.g., parent education, marriage
enrichment)...
To: Defining family ministry as a potential focus for shaping every aspect of congregational life.
Shift From: Targeting families primarily as recipients of the ministry of the church...
To: Equipping families to be engaged in ministry in their community and world.
Shift From: Conceptualizing individual ego development as the underlying process of “faith development”…
To: Conceptualizing faith as a dimension of family life as well as of individual experience.
Shift From: Envisioning human development as a process in which one leaves family in the process of maturing...
To: Envisioning families as significant contexts for individual maturation, with potential for supporting members’ growth
spiritually and ethically over the lifespan.
Shift From: Assessing families using “clinical” language (e.g., functional vs. dysfunctional)...
To: Assessing families using theological concepts that make room for both sin and redemption, blessing and curse, grandeur
and mystery.
Next week I'll take a look at the first of these shifts. (It's definitely one area where we are way ahead of most other
faith traditions in the United States!)
