Some saferoom members stories.
Some of these stories  may trigger so please make sure your in a safe place before reading.

Marlena's Story (mrs88888)
 I was born 44 years ago in Nov. in Queens NY. I don't remember much of my childhood and I  suspect it was like most other kids with the exception of the abuse.  I actually don't remember much if any of my childhood.
      What I  did always remember over the years  was being picked up at a Hebrew School and my mom asking me what happened in there. If the
        teacher had touched me or not. I now can remember bits and pieces of what happened and it was not pleasant. I was raped and sexually abused there on what I believe was two occasions. I had always remembered mom asking me those questions, and i remembered it was dark in the classroom. Anyway from that point on I only remember bits and pieces of my childhood initial I  was 19 1/2
              When I was raped by a stranger while on vacation with two friends I never told about either rape. I guess I was like a lot of other survivors. Made to think it was my fault. Made to think I was dirty, bad and a host of other things. I am non of those things. i am a survivor and will continue to be. The internet is the most important tool I have had thus far in helping with sexual abuse issues. I can reach out to others and bring us together on a common ground talking about issues we all have. There is comfort in knowing that there are lots of others who have similar feelings and who won't judge me. It's a comforting feeling to know all I have to do is turn my pc on and someone I know will be online. I guess it's a double edged sword. Good that I have lots of people to talk to who understand and bad cause there are so many people who have been abused and it is heart wrenching to think about it....

Bel's Story
I'm not sure when the abuse started, and i don't remember it clealy. However i remember enough to know who did it and that it did happen. I have always tryed to block out and not think about it, but it always comes back. The first memory i have is of my brother (4 years older) touching me, when i was about 6. He bribed me with toys and lollies. He said it was a game and i would enjoy it. I didn't. He told me not to tell anyone because it was to be a secret between us. The abuse slowly got worse. He made me do things i was not comfortable in doing. I wanted him to stop, but he said everyone did it. He started to come into my room at night, in my bed. My parents didn't suspect anything. The abuse continued until i was about 7 when i thought this is not right and told him to stop it. He wouldn't listen he kept coming into my room and still kept trying to do things. Finally when i was 8 i threatened him that i would tell someone, and so the sexual abuse stopped. But the ! verbal abuse contined and he still tryed to feal me up once in awhile. He still verbaly abuses me, but he stopped trying to feal me up when i was about 10 or 11. I am so angry at him. I have lost half of my childhood memories because i simply want to forget. I was also angry at my parents for awhile because all of this was happening right under their noses and they never noticed. Now i am 17. I am scared to be alone with any guy. I am also scared off my brother. He is still living at home and i fear he will try something. I have not yet told anyone close to me about my abuse as i am scared and afraid.
Early this year i consided sucide. I thought it would be an easy way out, that i could get rid of all these memories forever. I changed my mind after seeing my best friend trying to slit her wrists in front of me.
A couple of days ago i ran out of class crying after having yet another flash back. My best friend ran after me and asked me what was wrong. I told her and i am now talking about it with her. I felt really good about telling her. I feel i am on the way to healing.

Mysti's story
On August 2, 1997, I was raped by someone who was supposed to be my best friend.  DAVID H********* who was my best friend for 8 years, and I trusted him  wholeheartedly.  There was nothing different about the day that he beat and raped me.  I didn't do or say anything different, i guess he just picked out that day.  I'd really like to talk to some other survivors (Because we are survivors, we are NOT victims.  Victims do not get to come home)  There isn't really anyone else I can talk to about this.