Also... a little music by Michael Praetorius (1571 - 1621) for you to bathe your ears in while your read...
I don't believe I fear death... perhaps I fear DYING. It seems to me we die (lose ourselves) every night when we go to sleep. When we say, "Death is not fair" I am sure Mother Nature falls out of her chair with laughter!
Here is my personal little fable about life: Mother Nature got bored so she decided to create life and the planet earth... just to have something to watch. She made it nice and round and spinning and then she put on some trees and animals. In just a few moments, everything was dead, so she started over again, but this time, she added a special seasoning. This seasoning was hidden deep in the DNA and it said to all living things: "You MUST rule the earth and you MUST live forever!" Now, when she added trees and animals, they lived and competed and gave her something to watch.
That afternoon, her son, GOD, was bored because he didn't have anyone to play with, so he added people to Mother Nature's earth. He gave them memories and thumbs! Boy, did he get a spanking for that! His mother will only let him play with the moon now! Poor humankind! It has the same DNA as every other living thing... with a difference! All other life forms try to rule the earth and try to live forever and think it is possible! When any other life form dies... it is a surprise! Humankind, with it's memory thinks, "Oh, dear! Everyone I knew 100 years ago is dead... Does that mean I will die too??? But I CAN'T die! I MUST live forever!" So, humankind, being desperate... and clever, came up with a solution: "HEAVEN! I don't REALLY die... I go on to an even nicer place!" My solution is a little different: I KNOW that all the stuff that makes up our bodies has always been here and will always be here. Matter cannot be destroyed. If I let go of my ego (This body is Paul... anything outside of this body is NOT Paul) and think of Life as ONE growing and changing organism, then I know I will live forever. If there IS an afterlife, I am sure it is very democratic and all of life goes there, regardless of "good" and "evil". I will not worry about it now. I will enjoy THIS part of life.
GOD?
I don't believe in God because to me, the God concept (whether it be a he, she or it.) is of a power that judges our every action and not on human ethics and morals, but on God's, but does not tell us what those guidelines are... unless you decided the bible is the word of God. That is a lot to swallow because the bible has changed so many times and every religion has it's own interpretation of what it means. God's love? I don't know what to think about that because, after all these years, I still don't have a good definition for that word, love. Are we guided and specific things put in our paths as opportunities and challenges depending on our individual needs? I don't think so. Unless you consider the structure of Life itself challenges us every moment. And, depending on the genes we've inherited, the way we were raised and our history of meeting opportunities and challenges pretty much determines how we'll meet the ones that come along or, for that matter, even notice them. I think our history of meeting challenges and opportunities begins to appear as a pattern and appears to have some outside intelligent force behind it. I have arrived at my interpretation of life from my own way of gathering information and, of course, my genes and upbringing. Believe me, I don't demand that it is right. It is a way that works for me. I am open to the beliefs of others and I don't judge them against my own as either true or false. There is so much in Life I don't understand at all. Things have happened to me too for which I have no logical explanation. The purpose of it all, they say is to arrive at a place of unconditional love. Again, I really don't know what THAT means. To me, to discover the Purpose of life would be to limit it. To me, Life is a process and we are already accomplishing what we have to do by being alive. Again, I have to say, "To Me" Life is the only perfection there is... I am alive, therefore, I am perfect, you are perfect, EVERYONE is perfect. If we could always treat everyone as perfect, which I don't think we ever will, then, perhaps, that would be unconditional love. I think of Life as one organism and we, as individuals, are a cell on the tip of a finger on one hand of it. I could go on about this but I will leave it at that for now... I studied anatomy and physiology and realize how impossibly complex these bodies we take for granted are. More complex than any one has been able to understand. In the search for a cure for AIDS, the vast amount of information they have learned just about our immune systems is staggering and they have come no where near to learning all there is to know about that one system. An old soul? We know that every cell in our body has been here since the big bang. We are recycled matter that has been here since there has BEEN matter. Who knows if there is a universal memory that lies hidden in matter itself. Tennyson wrote,
Flower in the crannied wall,
I pluck you out of the crannies,
I hold you here, root and all, in my hand,
Little flower -- but if I could understand
What you are, root and all, and all in all,
I should know what God and man is.
MY plan of life: Life is perfect, I am a part of it, I try ALWAYS to treat life outside myself as I treat myself because it is the same thing. Life is conflict, Peace is not a natural part of life but I desire peace so I try to create it around me. Being alive is being successful, but there are still things, ideas and emotions I want and I will strive to attain them and in this process, I will continue to treat all life as perfect and the way I want to be treated. I think I have put this down in a rather clumsy manner but, I think you will be able to get an idea from it as to where I am... but, as I've said, Life is process so I will most likely be in a slightly different location tomorrow!
If you would like to explore more philosophical ideas, here's a link that should fill your mind! LOOK HERE
If you have a need to consult I Ching for some wisdom... try I CHING.
A friend on the net wrote to me saying, "This Friday I'm presenting a paper in the philosophy dept. on William James and Pragmatism. And what I like about James (an American Philosopher and psychologist of the turn of the century) is that the tenets of pragmatism is you try to live with a philosophy you can best live with, that gives you the best chance to grow and develop in healthy ways." Very interesting... I had to look up WILLIAM JAMES. What do YOU think???
I also believe my most philosophical awakening came through a "physical" experience.
It came in the form of a frightening disability. Starting with numb spots in my feet, slowly numbness started moving up my legs with increasing pain and dysfunction. Then my hands and arms became involved. I took all kinds of tests and had many kinds of treatments (both holistic and traditional) but got no answers. Finally, when I was at the point where I was using canes to get around, came the diagnosis of something called Charcot-Marie-Tooth syndrome. (That is an inherited neurological disorder for which there is no cure or treatment) Not very good news! The increasing pain and lack of mobility was... well... let's say "depressing" at least! The metamorphosis came one day when, struggling home from the market, I tripped on a rug and put my hand through a window, cutting myself rather seriously. I sat on the floor, groceries everywhere in a pool of blood and wondered if life was worth it anymore.... Perhaps it was time to get off the bus! Then my mind clicked in and said, "That certainly is a choice but, let's try a few things first". So, there on the floor I began to experiment with pain. I realized I had always experienced pain as it has always been role-modeled: Contracting, crying, trying to push it away. Experiment: First, drop the word "pain".... call it background music... whenever the music is loudest, relax into it. (This is a very simple explanation, but pretty much true) It is hard to believe now that I had the pain in control in about two weeks! I realized that the major part of pain is our response to it... not the pain itself. Then I trained myself NOT to think of where the future would take this condition but to live in the present. One of the tricks I used to do this was, I made an actual list of things I liked to think about; things that interested me. When ever I would start to worry about the future, I'd take out the list and get involved in one of the chosen subjects... worked for me! Through this experience, I realized more and more the truth of the statement: We don't have control of a great many conditions and situations that occur in our lives but, we DO have control over how we respond TO these conditions and situations. This has become an important part of my active, working philosophy.
SEMI HAPPY ENDING: I saw a segment on "60 Minutes" about the silver fillings in your teeth; how they are made of 50% mercury (a heavy metal and a poison) and how some people have undiagnosed symptoms because of these fillings. I looked back in my journal and discovered I had had two major fillings put in my mouth one year before the symptoms began! I went out and had them removed! In about a months time, I began to recover! When I told my Doctor about this, he gave it very little credence. I don't know if it was the mercury or not. All I know is that once those fillings were removed... I began to recover! Now my hands are completely recovered; there has been permanent nerve damage to my legs but I get around just fine without the use of a cane. There is still pain but it really doesn't bother me in the least.
Disability turned out to be a magnificent teacher. I found I was a much more powerful person than I thought with much more ability to guide and choose how I experienced the life process. (ONLY try this at home!)
A little thought about the MEANING OF LIFE: First... what is the meaning of the word "meaning"? I think, eons ago, some early form of an indian type was standing on a bluff and saw smoke and turned to his indian friend and asked, "What is the MEANING of that smoke?" to which the friend replied, "I think it MEANS their village is on fire!" The word "MEANING works very well in that situation but then, eventually this indian type came up with a word for this process we pass through... the word LIFE! Now... since he* was able to make a perfectly grammatical sentence to find out about smoke surely he could make the same kind of correct sentence to find out about LIFE. "What is the MEANING of Life?" It is grammatically correct so there must be an answer. People have been using that grammatically correct question ever since! Just look at the philosophy link above and you will see how many fantastic answers have been created for that question. I think it may mean... "Our village is on fire!"---You can do the same thing with the word, PURPOSE.
* (I believe it was a HE because SHEs don't seem to trouble themselves so much with this subject)
Maybe you will find the answer with... ASTROLOGY... then again, maybe not!
I have just discovered (1-24-'98) a wonderful page for all kinds of forecasting: Tarot, Runes and more! Try going HERE... all will be answered!
What do YOU think is the meaning of life?
How about reincarnation?
What philosophy gets YOU through from day to day?
Have YOU had a defining life experience?
Well... EMAIL ME!