The current edition of Forbes points out that some parts of the country are not having a “crisis” with home prices falling.  Salt Lake City is one of those places, with home prices rising about 22% over the last year.  This is why I don’t have a house.  Utah is about 2 years behind the rest of the country.

 

 

Hey, remember the Utah couple that kidnapped their daughter to keep her from getting married, only to bring her back the next day and she went and got married anyway?  That happened in August of 2006.  Well, the Redd’s finally had their day in court and have to pay $2,000 to cover a wedding dinner the bride missed and $550 each as a fine.  There is no jail time, but they must not contact their daughter for the next 36 months.  Oh, and mental health evaluations.  Ignore the fact that the girl was 20 at the time, still an idiot, and got knocked up only a few weeks after being married.  Not to mention working on her second kid right now.  Sounds like a winning family to me!

 

And this is just another chapter in how stupid people can be.  An adult store, Blue Boutique, is moving a few blocks down the street.  Why the big deal?  Well, they are being kicked out of their current location in the Sugarhouse area because the owner of the building wants to tear it down and build up something nicer.  Blue Boutique has been building a new place for the last two months.  Just now the people that live in the area are throwing a fit about the boutique (a seller of sexy wear and adult toys) moving into their neighborhood.  Well, it has been in their neighborhood for many years. 

 

On the one hand, I can see the residents concerns.  This is an adult store that does carry sexually oriented material.  It is just down the street from a high school and right next to a residential neighborhood.  On the other hand, this store has always been close and it isn’t like an adult books store with truckers coming out with brown paper bags.  Residents want the store to apply for an SOB (sexually oriented business – I find it funny to call it an SOB) license, which the store has never had because the adult-only section is less than 15% of the shop.  Mind you, in Utah that is still a lot. 

 

Here is the best part – some residents are threatening to film people going in and out of the store and show the film on a web site: “Salt Lake City Pervs.com.  I can think of a lot of things that could go up on that website, but most of the people going in and out of that shop wouldn’t surprise anyone.  Oh, except for the pictures of their kids who have been walking the three to four blocks down to Sugarhouse to go into the store for the last few years.  Oops.

 

And the dumbass of the week award goes to whoever lost the two garbage bags full of pot in Florida the other day.  They can call the Florida Highway Patrol to claim their lost items...

 

 

 

Stupid things that Utah Highway Patrol does - like asking a guy to get out of his car then tasering him after he tries to point something out to you.  Check out the YouTube feed to the right.  Both the cop and the man in this situation are idiots.

 

Utah did it again the other day, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.  With a little over a minute left, BYU with a 4^th and 18 situation, Utah lets them pick up 45 yards because the defense didn’t bother covering anyone in the middle of the field.  They then went on to let BYU march down and score the winning touchdown AND a 2 point conversion.  Utah’s coach has done a good job this season, but just like last season he decides to put the headset away a little too early during the rivalry game. 

 

Missouri looked pretty good against Kansas.  Purdue used to play like that, but those days are over.  I’ll bet Mizzou looses to Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship game next week just because the Tigers will have a mental block against the Sooners.  With LSU and Kansas loosing, things will look to get shuffled sufficiently for the big bowl games.  The sooner they just accept the fact that a playoff system is needed, the sooner this BCS BS will go away.

I wrote about this some months ago – the American Atheists Inc., was suing the state of Utah (of all places) to remove crosses on government land along highways that were erected as markers where state troopers died while in the line of duty.  They lost the other day.  The group argued that the cross was a religious symbol on public land and did not belong.  The Utah Highway Patrol Association started the cross program in 1998, and uses them as markers and a way to honor those who died.  There are 14 of these across the state.  The atheist group does not disagree with honoring the fallen troopers, but that the crosses emphasize religion.  The group plans to appeal the ruling, which is no surprise. 

 

Why the group picked Utah is beyond me.  First of all, the state is mostly Mormon, and they typically do not use the cross as part of their religious practice (which is one of many reasons most Christians questions the Mormon Christianity – but that is another topic).  Additionally, crosses have been used to honor the dead at American military cemeteries across the world, whether the person was Christian or not (the exception being when the person is a known Jew, then a Star of David is used).  The cross symbolizes death and is very widely known for that.  Also, the Utah Highway Patrol Association would use another symbol if the family requested it.  The group could have used another symbol if they wanted.  The atheist group even suggested a number of them, like tombstones, obelisks, or American Flags.  The point is, most people that look at that cross on the side of the road are not going to say, “Oh, a good Christian died there”, they will say, “Oh, someone died there.”  The atheist group could have gone after other states or towns that publicly display the 10 Commandments.  I’m more perplexed by why they went after this.  And the judge agreed, calling the symbol, in this instance, secular rather than religious.

 

I don’t mind atheists.  I prefer them over agnostics.  I just wish this group would have spent its time going against something useful instead of wasting time on this.

 

A quick hit on football: Purdue played its rivalry game last weekend and looked like they didn’t want to be there.  The better team didn’t win, but the team that wanted it more did.  Good job getting your players motivated, coach.  Say, I hear Coach Carr retired.  You could join him and go fishing.

 

Utah plays BYU this Saturday in their rivalry game.  At the beginning of the season I said Utah looked like crap and would only win 2 games.  Oops.  Good job by the coach and all the second string guys to pull it together and play like they should.  I’m impressed and I hope the Utes beat BYU.  Here is good reason for Utah to beat the Cougars this weekend: Utah has won seven in a row and this would get them in a decent bowl game (not a January 1 bowl – those are reserved for big conferences or very good teams), in this series the road team seems to do a little bit better, and BYU has 14 straight conference wins.  If Utah can knock them off that would make sure Boise State stays in the lead with 17 conference wins in a row. 

 

I’m going to Colorado for the “Stuff-Your-Face-then-Sit-In-Front-of-the-TV-Watching-Football-Teams-You-Don’t-Care-About-Day”, otherwise known as Thanksgiving.  I will try my best to avoid stores on Friday, but I may have no control over that. 

 

Speaking of stuffing one’s face, get a load of this:

 

 

We’ve been drinking the full calorie version all this time?  No wonder Americans are so fat!

 

I have nothing special to note here...

 

 

This is the truth...

 

The Sporting News is reporting that the same officiating crew that screwed up the Purdue – Penn State football game a couple of weekends ago also called the Ohio State – Illinois game this last weekend.  So?  Well, that same officiating crew is facing suspension and some of them are facing possible firing because of their poor on-field work at the Purdue – Penn State game.  What the hell?!?!  The Big 11 allowed this crew to call one of the biggest games in the conference while they are being reviewed for royally screwing up a game the week before.  Talk about a bunch of idiots.  I did not watch the OSU game this past Saturday, but I haven’t heard anything about poor officiating at the game either.  Doesn’t matter – that crew shouldn’t have been there.

 So Gold’s Gym here in Utah is have a Mr. Puniverse competition on Thursday.  I’ll have to keep track of it and see who wins.  The contest is to find Utah’s puniest man.  Events include arm-wrestling an old lady, fighting one’s self out of a paper bad, and screaming like a girl.  Winner gets $1,000 and a VIP membership to Gold’s.  I would try out, but I think I have too much chest hair to even get entered.

 

www.mrpuniverse.com

 

Here is something you probably did not know: Salt Lake City is the #8 city in the country for density of households headed by same-sex couples.  That’s right – conservative, straight-laced, bible thumping (well, Book of Mormon thumping), no fun Utah has one of the countries highest per-capita densities of gay couples.  Wow!  I always wondered why the Pride Parade that happens around here in the summer seems to draw so many people.  Actually, most of this is attributed to the general migration trend of the country, in which cities in the West and South are experiencing an increase in gays.  Well, except for San Francisco – they grow their own.

 

Not only does Salt Lake have a relatively high population of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT - I did not make that up) people, it also has neighborhoods that cater to these folks.  When I lived in Denver for a summer, I found out that there were one or two neighborhoods near downtown that had a lot of gays, but I never gave it much thought.  Now that I have lived in a city that has a couple of very distinct “gayborhoods” (I did not make up that word either), it seems to make sense.  I mean, if I needed a good hair dresser to tease and do highlights, I would want to make sure I was living just down the street from him so I could rush right in if I had an emergency.  We have two areas: the 9^th and 9^th neighborhood and the Marmalade area (near the capital).  No, really, there is a neighborhood called Marmalade - I can't make this stuff up! 

 

Why do gay people tend to live in the same areas?  Well, reasons given by Salt Lake’s local gay and lesbian magazine, Q Salt Lake, is that people seek acceptance.  They also site that they like to stay in places where there are art centers, businesses that cater to GLBTs, and where the better restaurants are.  Hold on – are you telling me that GLBTs are too good for a TGI Fridays?  Damn, talk about snobby.

 

Follow-Up

 

So, I need to elaborate on the Zion Curtain I spoke of yesterday.  More specifically, more than just having some glass separating the bar and eaters in restaurants, they also cannot pass food and drinks to customers over the bar at restaurants that serve alcohol.  Earl Dorius, a regulatory director for the ABC Board, was quoted as saying that while laws concerning restaurants might be loosened, they would not be lifted because, “we don’t want to see restaurants become bars.”  Well, why allow a bar in the restaurant in the first place.  Yikes – these people just don’t get it.

Utah has a bad rap about stupid liquor laws.  Okay, so some of them truly are stupid, written by those who don’t drink and don’t understand how bars, taverns, and restaurants work when it comes to alcohol.  Well, the state alcohol board and its commissioner are examining a proposal to put in place the “Zion Curtain”.  For many years we have joked that the Zion Curtain was the invisible line between Salt Lake County and Utah County, home of BYU and Provo.  Behind the Zion Curtain, all the good little Mormons were safe from all of us heathens here in Salt Lake.  Well, the new Zion Curtain is a proposal to put in place glass around bars in restaurants as a barrier between the Devil’s Brew and all those who would be “offended” by even knowing that it is there.  No, really, I’m not making this up.  This glass is supposed to protect kids and easily offended adults from alcohol bottles and the very sinful idea of even sniffing the stuff. 

 

The Alcohol Beverage Control (ABC) Commission is made up of mostly non-drinkers.  Supposedly, their role is to provide alcohol to those who want it (us heathens who will surely burn in hell, but the state will make money off of it because it has the monopoly on alcohol in the state) and to protect those who would be uncomfortable with alcohol being around.  Sounds like an impossible task to me, so the commission leans toward the latter rather than the former when possible.  The commission is supposed to get together in the next few months to review some of its “silly” laws.  They better reserve a couple of days and a lot of caffeine (oops, most of them don’t use that stuff either) to go over all those laws.  If they truly wanted to review silly alcohol laws, they would rewrite all of the state’s laws having to do with alcohol, but that isn’t going to happen.  At one point the commission thought about banning alcohol in strip clubs, but they thought that might be silly and let it wither away.  So, maybe they can fix a few things if they put their sober minds to it.

 

Drug Runners Crossing Utah:

 

It turns out that Interstate 80 is a major artery for marijuana coming across the nation from Northern California.  Utah cops put up a sting operation along the highway this past week and found 213 pounds of the weed, 55 pounds of cocaine (that’s a party!), and a boatload of cash.  From the sound of it, there is a lot of week making its way across I-80 this time of year, but not that much of it actually stops in Utah.  That isn’t because people in Utah don’t smoke pot, but because so many here are tightwads and really think a dime bag costs only a dime.  It is cheaper to sniff markers and White Out.  Oh, and a lot of meth is made in Utah, so we’ve got that going for us.

 

Football:

 

Purdue lost to Michigan State yesterday.  I’m not happy about that.  Coach Tiller, I think you should start looking for retirement property someplace warm, away from Indiana.

 

Utah won, beating a pathetic Wyoming team.  Utah has proven me wrong and is putting together a decent season.  They will probably make it to a crappy bowl game.

 

Notre Dame lost to the Air Force Academy.  That’s two losses to two academy schools in two weeks.  I know UND won’t be this bad next year, so I’m enjoying this now.  I’m actually mad at UCLA for loosing to Notre Dame.

When someone says Utah, what do most people think?  Some might think of the five National Parks that are in the state.  Ski bums will think off “The Greatest Snow on Earth”, as many in Utah like to say (it is pretty good powder – and I’m not even a skier).  But I’m pretty sure most people immediately think of Mormons and polygamy.  This, of course, makes sense since Utah is the center of the Universe for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I cannot think of another religion that has its headquarters and holy site situated in the U.S.  Most of the state of Utah is made up of Mormons, with the exception of Salt Lake City, which is only about 50% Mormon.  I find it humorous that the city in which the head of the church is situated is not completely dominated by Mormons, but has a Democrat mayor and city council with lean to the left. 

 

So, Mormons believe that Joseph Smith, the faiths founder and Mason, unearthed a set of gold plates (The Plates of Nephi – the founder of the Nephite clan) from a hill in upstate New York in 1827 and translated the ancient text into English (wait – it gets better).  The account is known as The Book of Mormon and tells the story of two Israelite civilizations living in the New World.  (Yes, they believe that ancient Israelites got into boats and sailed to Central America.)  A single family who fled from Jerusalem in 600 B.C. eventually splintered into two groups, known as the Nephites and Lamanites.  Joseph Smith was shown by God where this golden plates were, translated them into the Book of Mormon, and then the plates when back up to heaven, taken by the angel Moroni.  Mormons believe that Jesus appeared to Indian tribes in Central America and spent time with them there. 

 

So, all this leads up to something that happened recently.  The Mormon Church has changed a single word in its introduction to The Book of Mormon (a separate book from the bible).  This change may have serious implications for commonly held LDS beliefs about American Indians.  The current introduction in the Book of Mormons reads, "After thousands of years, all were destroyed except the Lamanites, and they are the principal ancestors of the American Indians."  The new version will read, "After thousands of years, all were destroyed except the Lamanites, and they are among the ancestors of the American Indians."

 

The church claims that the change "takes into account details of Book of Mormon demography which are not know.”  It also takes a swipe at the book’s claims of the history of the Americas.  The Mormon church has taught that the Americas were largely inhabited by Book of Mormon peoples (those that sailed over from Israel).  In fact, one of the recent presidents of the church (they do not have a pope – that is the Catholics), Spencer Kimball, said that Lehi (one of those early Israelites), was "the ancestor of all of the Indian and Mestizo tribes in North and South and Central America and in the islands of the sea."  Wow – big statement.  Forget all the DNA data that states most Native Americans came here over the Bering Strait Thousands of years ago.  Well, this new change to the book give a little nod to all that data that maybe some of the Indians here are not of Jewish decent.  Many in the church call this DNA evidence as oversimplification of the issue.  Okay, maybe, but not like the oversimplification of the recent expedition in Israel by filmmaker James Cameron and some others that claim they found Jesus and his wife’s tomb.  I could find the same tomb by going to a cemetery in Mexico City. 

 

Many Mormon researchers claim that the events in The Book of Mormon took place in a small geographic area which would have given plenty of room for other Indian tribes to be around.  Additionally, the Nephites and Lamanites would have genetically mixed with the people living in the area at the time of Lehi’s arrival.  Try again chumps.  Genetic research can differentiate different genetic backgrounds – just ask the Cherokee nation as they try to keep out the people who are only half Cherokee (or some such percentage – its fuzzy) from getting tribal money. 

 

Some Mormons are much more open about it.  The introduction to The Book of Mormon is not part of the canonical scripture, so these things aren’t the true Word of God.  There are parts of the Old Testament of the Bible that I have problems believing, but I’ve read the introduction of The Book of Mormon and I have to say it is just out of my realm of belief.  Most Christian faiths teach that you need to have Faith in the things that happened.  Well, I don’t have enough Faith for this kind of stuff.  Maybe if I had been indoctrinated earlier in life…

Outgoing (Thank God!) Mayor Rocky Anderson pushed for a public-safety bond to build a new police and fire headquarters.  He then withdrew his support.  In an act that smacked of a “Don’t Forget About Me!” statement, the mayor killed something that was greatly needed.  Well, maybe.  Yesterday, Salt Lake residents voted against the $192 million bond because there were too many extras attached to it.  Unofficial returns show the bond failing by 291 votes.  One of those was mine.  The police really do need a new headquarters, but all the extra stuff they added to the measure would have cost the average homeowner $175 extra a year in property taxes.  My property taxes have been going up steadily over the last three years, and I did not want to see an even bigger increase next year.  I was willing to pony up a little bit more, but that is ridiculous.

 

What makes this interesting is that the Mayor, who will be leaving office soon to make place for a much more bland Democrat (he’ll be okay, but nothing to get excited about), was the one who pushed for this months ago.  Then the mayor decided not to talk about it once it got on the ballot.  Then the mayor dropped the bomb late last week, saying it was too expensive and that he didn’t support it.  Well, Mayor, you could have done that a couple of months ago.  Or better yet, you could have done that once the price tag was announced, or even before they put all the extra goodies into the package.  Rocky stated that he would like to see a commuter tax to pay for it.  A what?  How do you tax commuters when there are no toll roads or way to figure out who is coming or going?  How about this – increase fines for speeding and then actually enforce the speed limit.  Around here that would raise $10 to $20 million a year.

 

 

On the lighter side: Steve & Barry's opened its first Utah store today.  When I was a student at Purdue, Steve & Barry’s is where you went to get your cheap Purdue clothing.  I was there earlier this year and was a little disappointed with what I saw.  No longer could you get 3 t-shirts for $20.  I still have a couple of those “cheap” shirts.  They haven’t fallen apart yet and I wear them on a half way regular basis.

 

The chain has 215 stores in 33 states, and is popular with bargain hunters.  They still carry mostly clothing that sells for less than $20.  It also has a number of apparel and footwear products inspired by celebrities, including tennis star Venus Williams and actress Sarah Jessica Parker.  I can’t say that I really care about anything those two might actually “design”.  More like slap their names on pieces of cheap crap made in sweatshops in Vietnam.  Apparently, the company is trying to aggressively expand into all 48 states of the Continental U.S.  All I care about is if they will have Purdue clothing.  I sort of doubt it.

 

 

 

Purdue lost to Penn State on Saturday.  I'm not happy about that one because they should have won.  They had the game in the first half and let it go.  Could be worse.  Purdue could have lost to Navy.  Oh, wait a second, Notre Dame lost to Navy for the first time in 40+ years on Saturday.  The only team that ND has beaten this season is UCLA, which turned out to not be all that good of a team.  I would have to go back and check, but I'm pretty sure ND's last coach was fired for a lot less than what's going on this season. 

 

Oh, and it looks as if the Patriots have won the Super Bowl.  Or, at least that is what ESPN has led me to believe.  What a joke.

Hi.  My name is Barry Bonds.  I am bigger than all of baseball.  If the Hall of Fame decides to display my record-setting homerun ball with an asterisk branded on it, I will not accept a nomination to the Hall of Fame when the nomination comes, and I most certainly will not attend any ceremonies. 

 

Um, Barry, your ego is almost as larger as your steroid and growth hormone pumped head.  First of all, you are taking it for granted that you will be elected to the Hall of Fame sometime soon.  I’m pretty sure Mark McGuire will get in before you, and not because he retired earlier.  A lot of the guys that vote on the nominees are going to remember what you were about while you were playing, and most of them will make you wait a pretty long time before you are elected.  Let us hope all the drugs you’ve pumped into your body haven’t left you a complete physical, and mental, wreck by the time you do get elected. 

 

Personally, I hope you do turn down the Hall of Fame.  It would be more appropriate to have a ball with an asterisk in the Hall than a bronze bust of your massive head.  The year you go into the Hall is the year I make an investment in bronze futures.