| BINK'S Commentary: |
Murphy was an optimist. |
| Bax'S Observation: |
The other line always moves faster. |
| SPITLER'S Law: |
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to
transfer to is on time. |
| WILSON'S Principle: |
The probability of meeting a desirable and receptive young
female increases by pyramidal progression when you are already in the
company of (1) a date, (2) your wife, (3) a better looking and richer
male friend. |
| SPITLER'S First Corollary: |
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side
down is directly proportional to the cost of the suit you are wearing. |
| ZIEMSKI'S Law of Unreliability: |
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more
unreliable. |
| SPITLER'S Second Corollary: |
A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. |
| GRAFF'S Grumble: |
The one day you would sell your soul for something, souls
are a glut on the market. |
| ELLIOT'S Epistle: |
No matter where you go, there you are. |
| MACFALL'S Rule: |
For purposes of knocking on wood, the world consists of
vinyl and aluminum. |
| BRANSTETTER'S Lament: |
No overall dimension can be totalled correctly after 4:40
p.m. on Friday. |
| BRANSTETTER'S Corollary: |
The correct total will become self-evident at 9:01 a.m.
Monday. |
| BAX'S Law: |
All machines are amplifier. |
| HILL'S Second Law: |
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long
enough. |
| DILBERT'S First Law: |
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break. |
| JOHNSON'S Law: |
Any wire cut to length will be too short. |
| PERRY'S Principle: |
A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle. |
| RASSA'S Lament: |
All the good ones are taken. |
| BOGART'S Commentary: |
If if appears that several things which could have gone
wrong have not gone wrong, it is because it would have been ultimately
beneficial for them to have gone wrong. |
