NEW!
Clinton Anderson, Parelli Horsemanship, Chris Cox and Pony Boy
NEW!
Horse
Tales
Part
1
Oh,
Stable Boy - How not to catch a horse
Ah...to
be a Fur Bearing Critter - Husbands
take second place to Mr. Horse
The
First Kiss - I'm glad I didn't
taste like grass
Tenderfoot
Rides the Wild Horse - 1st Riding Lesson
The
Hundred Pound Head - Large
scale Affection
How
We Got a Herd - Our search for
another horse
Part
2
Horse
Behavior for the New Owner - How
to deal with 1000lb animals
A
Bad Spur Day - How I learned
(the hard way) to be careful with spurs
Horse
Knows Best - How to get your
posting right
Bad
Horse - Horses can be
almost childlike at times
One
Rein Stop Saves the Day
-
It's
nice to have an emergency brake
Jingle,
Jangle, Jingle (Part II) - Why you should be careful with a new saddle
Rating
Horse Clinicians -
Clinton Anderson, Parelli Horsemanship, Chris Cox and Pony Boy
What's
Wrong with Dressage? -
And you thought it was just boring to watch
Oh, Stable Boy
So, I'm pretty new to this horse thing. My wife, Sue, wanted a horse and so to make a long story short we now have one. Being a good sport, I go to the stables to watch her ride Bandit for the first time under our ownership. Arriving at the stables, we see Bandit out in the paddock with two other horses. Quite casually my wife says, "Go get the horse while I change," and off she walks. I walk up to the fence and hoping for the best, I call to the horse, "Here Bandit, come on boy." The horse momentarily looks up from the grass he's eating and goes back to chow time. Somehow, I didn't think that would work. I survey the muddy paddock and it has all the appeal of walking across a cratered no-man's land. Oh, what the heck, the stable boy has received his orders. Off I go, slogging through the mud and horse poo. Naturally as I get closer, Bandit casually walks away. This continues for several minutes. Meanwhile, one of the other horses in the paddock comes up to me. He's got a blanket on. "What did horses do before people," I wonder? The blanket horse comes right up and gives me a close look and then a nudge, as if to say, "Forget that one, take me, I want to go with you!" I seriously consider the offer. Finally, Sue comes walking along (on the outside of the paddock) shaking a bag of horsey treats. Bandit decides the treats are better than picked over muddy grass and over he comes. I lead Bandit back through the mud and horse packages. I later find out that a hoof pick makes a pretty good boot cleaner.
Moral to the story: When sent to fetch a horse, take the first one that offers to go with you.
Bandit
Lungeing
Bandit Flexing
Ah...to be a fur
bearing critter.
According to Sue the proper way to groom a horse requires lots of equipment. Last time I counted it included 5 different brushes, one comb, at least three kinds of sprays, one polish, and two ointments. I don't think you can get this kind of massage in a posh resort. No wonder Bandit is glad to see us. I've noticed the other horses looking on with seeming jealousy when the full body massage takes place. Maybe I should try a body toupee' and I could get such attention.
Sue with
Bandit
So there I was standing next to Bandit while he was cross-tied. We had just gotten through brushing him down after the day’s workout. Sue walked off to get something out of the tack room when it happened. Bandit quickly turned his neck around, raised his head and gave me a full wet sloppy tongue-slobbering lick on the cheek. Eeeyou! “I like you too, but guys aren’t supposed to kiss!” I said. I’ve now got a good appreciation for just how BIG a horse’s tongue is.
Bandit Cowboy
Tenderfoot
Rides
the Wild Horse
After owning Bandit for a year, Sue decides to sign me up
for a lesson. This lesson gets
announced to me out of the blue when she comes home from the stables one day.
Assorted whining and complaining have no effect on her and it looks like
I’m stuck with going the next day. I
decide maybe I can get a lot done in one lesson and bravely announce that I want
to learn how to “walk, trot, canter and jump” during my first lesson.
I didn’t think that she really thought I was serious.
The next day I managed to load myself on top of Bandit.
My attire was interesting. I
was using Suzy’s English saddle, wearing jeans, cowboy boots (worn twice
before) and a helmet (required by the management).
I call my riding style “English Cowboy.”
The trainer, assures me that she’s had funnier
looking beginning riders. She does,
however, keep me out of view in the inside arena. Sue proudly announces to her that I want to “learn to walk,
trot, canter and jump today.” The
trainer (not missing a beat) says, “Well, we’ve got a lot to get done in an hour.”
Great, I think, I can’t back out now, but this is probably going to
hurt.
My instructor offers the Tenderfoot some riding advice:
 |
Even Cowboys sit up straight sometimes |
|
If you give the go signal and give him the stop signal
at the same time you’re going to confuse the horse |
|
The reins steer the front end but you also have to steer the back end |
Tenderfoot figures out that a horse
doesn’t run on a set of tracks.
|
If you look where you’re going, you’ll go where
you’re looking…but don’t look so far ahead in the turn that you RIDE
INTO THAT JUMP! |
After walking, I try some trotting and then
my instructor pulls a
jump rail onto the ground and I go over it.
OK, it’s only 4 inches but it still counts as a jump!
Next, I try some cantering and give Bandit the wrong leg and rein signals
to go into the canter. I can almost see the question mark floating above his head.
I get it right the next try and off he goes into a canter.
Suddenly the arena seems a lot smaller.
Time to try the brakes. I
can tell he really doesn’t want to slow down but tolerates the whoa signal.
The hour is up and I end up sitting on Bandit for a little bit while talking with Sue and my instructor. I notice that Bandit is so excited by the past hour of death defying events that he soon starts to nod off. All in a days work for Bandit The (Wild) Paint Horse.
After a week of absence I walk up to Bandit's stall and pay him a visit. Bandit sees me and brings his not inconsiderable bulk over to greet me. He lifts his head over and past my shoulder so I can hug his neck. He then lets out a sigh and rests his head and neck on my shoulder. My knees buckle but I manage to support him. "Well big fella, I missed you too."
Since that first time, I'm now better prepared for large scale affection.
One day Suzy announces that what I'm lacking in my life is another horse. I obviously need my own horse in order to properly function in the world. Well of course, silly me, I should have figured that out for myself. Sue becomes a woman possessed in the pursuit of finding me a suitable steed. We end up traveling over a three state area looking at all kinds of horses.
Some sage wisdom on horse finding:
If you walk up to a horse and it ignores you, look for another horse. Honestly, I believe that if a horse doesn't even greet you with a good sniff then it's time to move on.
Don't bother with Lawn Ornaments. Horses kept in the back yard, rarely ridden just aren't worth your time.
You pretty much get what you pay for. At the less than extravagant end of the money scale we were interested in, you're paying for the training the horse has received (not the famous bloodlines). I'm no horse trainer and it's worth it to pay a fair price for a well trained horse.
Sue and Cowboy Paul with Cowboy and Chris with Bandit
Anyway, we found Cowboy, who is a remarkably calm quarter horse. He's taught me a lot about how to ride and he reflects the care and love that his former owner spent on him and his training.
Sometimes you just meet a horse you're supposed to be with.
Do you have comments about any of these tales? E-mail them to pdfromwv@yahoo.com.