On Golf

• Most people play a fair game of golf -- if you watch them.
• "I was going to buy a copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking', and then I thought, what the hell good would that do?" -- Ronnie Shakes
• "You can't think and hit at the same time." -- Yogi Berra
• "90 percent of the game is 50 percent mental." -- Yogi Berra
• "Golf is an open exhibition of overwhelming ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill soured by a whiff of arrogance. These humiliations are the essence of golf." -- Alistair Cooke
• "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." -- Brendan Gill
• "Thinking is easy, action is difficult. To act in accordance with one's thoughts is the most difficult thing in the world." -- Goethe
• "This hole is harder than trigonometry." -- Hubert Green on the 9th hole at Pebble Beach
• "Golf makes liars out of honest men, cheats out of altruists, cowards out of brave men, and fools out of everybody." -- Milton Gross
• "Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a one-iron, and squinty eyes." -- Dave Marr
• "Even his bad shots are good. That's the secret of golf." -- Johnny Miller on Fred Couples
• "Close in golf usually means one more putt." -- Bob Murphy
• "I don't take vacations that long." -- Chi Chi Rodriguez on one of John Daly's drives
• "Extreme hopes are born of extreme misery." -- Bertrand Russell
• "How about that guy? He gives me a stroke a side and I still have to shoot a sixty-eight to beat him. The lousy sandbagger." -- Bob Hope
• "Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot a 66, they say, 'Man, we shot sixty-six!' But go out and shoot 77 and they say, 'Hell, he shot seventy-seven!'" -- Lee Trevino
• "I'm going to miss at least seven shots in every eighteen holes, so if I'm going to be angry, I might as well start right on the first tee." -- Walter Hagen
• "I can't say for sure, but I'd like to have that much frontage along Wilshire Boulevard." -- Phil Harris, when asked if a birdie putt really travelled ninety feet at the Crosby Pro-Am 1951
• "Phil is the only man I know who keeps his left arm straight all day and bent all night." -- Paul Hahn
• "Phil can drink more than Dean Martin with one lip tied behind his back." -- Jimmy Demaret
• "I'm not a drunk. A drunk is a guy with yellow tennis shoes and a rusty zipper." -- Phil Harris
• "Cypress Point is a dream, ... so bewilderingly picturesque that it seems to have been the crystallization of the dream of an artist who has been drinking gin and sobering up on absinthe." -- O.B. Keeler
• "Cypress Point is so exclusive that it had a membership drive and drove out forty members." -- Bob Hope

Date created: July 23, 1997
Last modified: October 14, 1997
Copyright © 1997, Greg Cramer, O.M.S.
Maintained by: Greg Cramer
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