Live Update: (pre-recorded, of course)
January 27, 2005
Issue No. 02, Volume 05

As an option, you may go  directly to Brent's "Current Topic of Discussion".  In this issue, we push the envelope of:

"Politics As Usual: Journeys of The Unconscious, Adventures In Deception, Part II"

And much of it's social impact.

                                       

 

                                            Welcome to:

      Brent's  Off-Center  Column*

                                                      (*a pillar of strength)

New!  Special Links/Special Features:

Owner's Manual

Current Topic of Discussion

Dear John, Abby of Landers

Feedback/Contact Us

FAQs: (Frequently Asked Questions)

Home

 


Owner's Manual  In order to avoid the risk of serious personal injury, or electric shock, it is highly recommended that you read this manual  before proceeding to the next link.  It is also suggested that you wear your safety restraint, dust mask, and goggles, and remember to keep your hands and arms inside the column at all times.  Children and adults must be accompanied by a grown up.  Car seat carriers, seat belt harnesses, and scuba equipment are all  highly recommended.  As an added precaution, the Off-Center Column is using a engine oil dip stick to gauge the mental condition of a potential reader, and thereby reduce the risk of complete exhaustion to the participant.  Also:  Smoking in the Lobby is strictly prohibited.  If you happen to own a parachute, you may want to wear it, just in case.  If you don't, then a sleeping bag can be used as an alternative.  Other alternatives include alternative medicine, lifestyle, rock and/or, (but not limited to) dieting.  Thank you for your indulgence.  You, like my doctor, have a lot of patience.

Current Topic of Discussion: (Designed to infuriate even the most benign and level headed, this commentary explores idiosyncrasies of the current social and political scene).

  

"Politics As Usual: Journeys of The Unconscious, Adventures In Deception, Part II"
Dear John, Abby of Landers: (Psychic Hotline for the Online Lovelorn)

Now finally, responding to extreme pressure from the media, and back by popular demand (whatever):   Dear John, Abby of Landers: (Psychic Hotline for the Online Lovelorn)             *~_~*

Feedback: (What can sometimes occur if you give your cat too much food). (Your comments).

                                         
Contact Us: (same as above) Send a question (bronze membership), comment (silver membership), story (gold membership), or donation (platinum membership) to the column.
FAQs Frequently Asked Questions (there is no such thing as a stupid question).
Go Home (please) Back to the top
 

Disclaimer: An effort to disavow all responsibility for what is written or portrayed here.

Disclaimer-Disclaimer (Not Pizza-Pizza)

This is an editorial column designed to push the envelope of apathy and skepticism in its readers, and will be published supposedly on a first come, first serve basis.  Here is the page that let's you read, and criticize to your heart's content, opinions about the miscellaneous of life.  At this stage of the column's promotion, it is suggested to the reader that he (or she) allows great latitude of understanding, restraint, and patience.  Also, it should be read in the pretext that the column is designed for entertainment purposes only, and should not be taken as seriously as, say, the opinions of a palm reader, astrologist, or justice of the supreme court.  Any inference or relationship to any individual or entity is purely un-coincidental and deliberate.  The editor assumes no responsibility for anything at all.

            

As in the immortal words of George Carlin:  "Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Outlet get along?

         

And in the additional emotionally charged, thought provoking, words of Cedric the Entertainer: "Now I want you to remember 3 things: O.J. did it, Rodney King deserved it, and Rosa Parks set her black ass down!"

        

The biggest joke of all, however, was when Jesse Jackson demanded an apology (for the remarks of Cedric).

 

  Music Box Contest !

Friends:  How is your knowledge of old song trivia?  Can you guess the name, artist and year of the background music you heard, when opening this page?  If so, send your answer to feedback.

 

The Off-Center Column, as in the last issue, wishes to express it's deepest and sincerest sympathy to its loyal readers for their continued support.  (This is the twentythird issue, you know).  In fact, we would like to offer the Column's structural support, in whichever vacant building or tent you may be living in.  Even under the great Flying Circus Tent of Monty Python, the Column's support could prove vital.

In the interest of good will, hunting, and an ongoing supportive effort in the pursuit of insolence, thank you for visiting Brent's Off-Center Column.  Your appreciation will not go heeded.  There is no deviation in the reconciliation of our appreciation for the manifestation of our convoluted hallucinations.  Whatever.

For a good laugh, try this site on for size:

Editor's Note: In a conversational way, there are many types of columns.  In short, this particular column is only one example of many types of columns that a reader can experience.  And there are many types of dwellings.  Putting these two entities together, one might conclude that we have, basically, a columnar pad.  And this, my friend, is excruciatingly ironic, in view of the fact that it was a column that brought us together in the first place.

 Space for just another side gag.    (Cough, hack, choke)

Ponderance:

If an oral surgery patient is given Novocain in the ambulance, could he then be considered to have had "transit-dental-medication"?

Loosely pertinent to a previously mentioned potential topic of discussion, I am again going to step way out on a limb here.  I am going to focus on one line of thought, and not jump around the topic-scape quite so exuberantly.  Friends, I would like to talk to you for a moment about the all too familiar and all too flagrant social violation that we witness everyday called:  "Politics As Usual: Journeys of the Unconscious, Adventures in Deception".  Please read silently, while I read aloud, the  'Current Topic of Discussion'.  The only way to benefit from this information is to click on the hyper-link, okay?

ezines

Open Directory Project at dmoz.org

Now really, aren't you glad that you visited the Off-Center Column?  We, the staff at the Off-Center Column, are very pleased that you were able to visit, and we look forward to seeing you again soon.  Very soon.  And just to show you that there are no hard feelings, you are invited to click on any or all of the bumper stickers listed in the column to the left, for your further fun and frivolity.  (Look at all of these emblems.  Sort of like the front grill of a 1948 Rolls-Royce).

 

 Humor home

Earth Day 2002

   

In coming issues of the Off-Center Column:

We resume our normal format (assuming there is one).  Future topics (assuming of course that there is a future), at the "Current Topic of Discussion" link, will include things like:

   

   The world of  feminism , the perfect foil to today's chauvinism.

   Other musings and rants on life, liberty, and the pursuit of sarcasm.

 

And of course, all of the compulsory sensitive subjects that are sure to outrage, or at the very least insult, everyone at some point:  Ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, political affiliation, and religious musings, are sure to inspire the wrath of even the faintest at heart.  As long as the discussions are offensive and politically incorrect, the primary criteria will be satisfied.  Your donated thoughts and opinions are always welcome @ Feedback!  Peace be with you!

HumorLinks - International

Whoops!  This just in:  Notice all of the nice advertising logos populating the column at the left? It has come to the attention of the staff (or vise versa), that there are many humor search engines now on the web.  Many more buttons to push.  Many, I tell you.  It would be impossible for this column to be listed in all of them.  Conversely, it would be impossible for this section to list all serviceable search engines here, mired in the treacherous trenches and rows of innocent and hard working bumper stickers.  All we can do is the best we can do, and we will continue to keep doing the best that anyone could possibly do under these extreme conditions.  Remember:  Everything is strictly relative and circumstantial.

At this time, I would like to offer a piece of advice.  You say you would rather have a piece of cake (left)?  I would have offered you a drink (not shown), but the advice (above) was more available, more valuable, and less expensive.  What!?  You say you're not hungry?  Not even thirsty?  Proceed to our closing statements.

 

One Litre Net, Satire Humour for Dummies!

The Staff at the Off-Center Column wishes to profoundly thank each and every one of you for your continued support in carrying on the fight against the social abuses we all face today.  By reading the "Current Topic of Discussion", you have helped to set in motion the wheels of positive change.  And just to show you that it's not all just about dollars and cents, here is a free pic (below) of the staff at the Off-Center   Column.  Enjoy!

 

Whaddaya...?  Ya say ya want back issues?  I gotcha back issues right eeaah: (Just take a quick click, to make a quick pic of issues past).

 OCC Staff:         Brent:      
Issue No. 1  Issue No. 2
Issue No. 3 Issue No. 4
Issue No. 5 Issue No. 6
Issue No. 7 Issue No. 8
Issue No. 9 Issue No.10
Issue No.11 Issue No.12
Issue No.13 Issue No.14
Issue No.15 Issue No.16
Issue No.17 Issue No.18
Issue No.19 Issue No.20
Issue No.21 Issue No.22
                                            Feedback?  Sure, go ahead.  Make my day.
                               *This is the bottom of the page.  (Rock bottom).

         The Music Box (song trivia) Contest rules of participation and description of prizes:

If you guess the answer correctly, congratulations.

If your guess is incorrect, you will be spanked until your skin turns red.

*Since the contest is just a meaningless gimmick, there are no songs, and therefore no prizes at all.  It was all just an elaborate ruse!  

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