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Meta Model Patterns and Responses

It's very common in today's communications for people to speak with clear intentions in mind, although we use words that delete, distort or generalize meanings. We have a very clear idea in mind, or have a real sense of what we want to say, and we use words that are accurate representations or labels to ourselves of those ideas and thoughts. Unfortunately, many of those same words may have meaning or representations to the people we communicate with, that are just different enough to create problems understanding each other.

Have you ever tried to find something in someone's files, and had a difficult time understanding their labeling or filing system. It's is perfectly clear to them, yet mysterious to us. What we want to accomplish through learning how to identify the ambiguous Meta Model patterns, is to have responses to those patterns that allow us, and sometimes the person using the pattern, to come closer to a real understanding of what we really mean we communicate.

Now, not every pattern needs to be clarified. In fact, when we first learn about these patterns, many people (myself included) tend to feel that every pattern must be recognized and a direct response immediately blurted out. Well, over use of the Meta Model can be one of the quickest ways to lose rapport, and to annoy your friends. So use these responses judiciously.

Patterns
Unspecified Nouns	Nominalizations
Unspecified Verbs	Lost Performatives
Modal Operators	Mind Reading
Universal Quanitifiers	Cause Effect
Comparatives	Complex Equivalence

Unspecified Nouns

Pattern

Things are getting me down.

Response

Which things, specifically?

Pattern

She's angry.

Response

About what?

At whom?

Pattern

Successful people are worth copying.

Response

Which successful people?

Back to Patterns list

Unspecified Verbs

Pattern

The noise annoyed me.

Response

How specifically did it annoy you?

Pattern

He generated a lot of enthusiasm in the group

Response

How specifically did he generate the enthusiasm?

Pattern

She made me angry.

Response

How specifically did she do that?

What did she do that made you angry?

Back to Patterns list

Modal Operators - necessity

Pattern

I have to go there.

Response

What would happen if you didn't go there?

Pattern

I really should do that.

Response

According to whom?

What would happen if you didn't do that?

Modal Operators - impossibility

Pattern

That's not possible!

Response

According to whom is that not possible?

Pattern

He can't do that.

Response

According to whom?

What would happen if he did do that?

Back to Patterns list

Universal Quantifiers

Pattern

All men are jerks.

Response

All men?

Did you ever know one man who wasn't a complete and total jerk?

Pattern

He always does that.

Response

Always?

Can you remember one time when he didn't do that?

Pattern

You never listen to me.

Response