KURAI NO AME: All Chapters

by Ameliano P. deJarre. natsukoarts@earthlink.net
© 2004 18 August 2004 (edit2)
Sanzo, Gensomaden Saiyuki and Saiyuki characters copyright Kazuya Minekura.

CHAPTER1

The rain came down slowly, dragging out the day as if it would last forever. The sky drank in the wet damply colouring the gloom with a blue tinge, a cold force unrelenting. 

Sanzo stared out from the corner of the card board refirgerator box. Hand on gun hidden under his folded up robes. Taking in the deep sounds of the dusk-laden city. His box sat on a 2 inch wooden placard keeping it off the ground, the rain seeping past the wood, unaffecting the card board from below. The plastic bags taped together with duct tape over the make shift structure had been a gift from Goku overnight.

Sanzo had heard him do it, and Goku had finished quietly and huddled under the awning of the hotel next door where Hakkai and Gojyo were waiting in the room. Hakkai had brought food out to him earlier. Sanzo had left it out at the mouth of his hovel, rats had taken it away over night, a blessing from Kannon.

GOJYO: We can't leave him out there forever. Stupid monk.

HAKKAI: Leave him be. I'll check on him later.

GOJYO: Where's the monkey?

Hakkai pointed out the window to the corner building, where a lone figure stood half under the awning, half out in the cold, guarding over Sanzo.

GOJYO: I'm going for a drink?

He waved off and went to the bar.

Sanzo pulled a half crumpled pack of fags out of his shirt pocket. Empty

SANZO: Shit!

He rolled his eyes and cocked the safety off the gun.

SANZO: I should just kill myself now...

He pulled back the trigger slightly, knowing just the point to where the gun would actually go off. He'd practiced this many times, each time coming closer and closer to oblivion. His mind drifted into meditation calculating the millimeters of movement of his finger on the trigger, ever so slowly...

SANZO: I am nothing. Kore wa yume…

The trigger clicked. Eyes wide. His hair jerked past his face.

The gun went off. Blowing a hole through his cardbord room and into the concrete red-splattered wall.

GOKU: SANZO!

The gun shot rang through the night. Hakkai jumped up and ran down the hall out to the street. Gojyo dropped the cards, pulled away from the table. The girl on his arm calling after him.

A light glowed out of the cardboard box as Goku ran towards it.

Kannon appeared, kneeling in front of the entrance to the box, holding Goku back.

KANNON: Stay back.

Hakkai and Gojyo stood off slighty holding Goku back.

KANNON: You are the unpredictable one aren't you Konzen?

Kannon opened the entrance to the box putting her hand on Sanzo's chin. His eyes wide he pushed her out of the way and came out to stand in the rain, walking away, the gun still smoking from the discarge of the round.

SANZO: I have nothing to say to you, old hag.

He leveled the gun on her as he backed off, away from her, the box, from Hakkai and group.

KANNON: Its not like you can run from me

She smirked advancing on him.

She put her hand out to the gun barrel as he tried to back off just far enough so he could get a clear shot at her heart through her hand. She looked up. Jiroshin materialized behind Sanzo and held his hands out to the side, so he was unable to move.

SANZO: Dont touch me!

Sanzo yelled trying to get free but was unable to move. Kannon advanced and touched his face again. He turned away.

KANNON: You are a pretty boy aren't you.

He turned quickly look of derision in his purple eyes that glowed with fury and spit in her face.

HAKKAI: Sanzo

JIROSHIN: Merciful Goddess

KANNON: Ah, such energy. So powerful. I should lock you in a mountain 500 years, teach you some manners.

Sanzo readied himself to fight as she advanced again. The gun suddenly in her hand.

KANNON: You want to die so badly?

She leveled the gun to his head.

KANNON: Or maybe it be more real like this?

She snapped her fingers and Goku stood before Sanzo with gun leveld at his temple. The barrel cold against his flesh. Sanzo's eyes grew wide, fear...

KANNON: Is this less boring for you? I can make him, if that is what you wish. I will grant you mercy from samsara, for now, if you wish it.

GOJYO: Hakkai do something!

Gojyo held his weapon at the ready. He took a step forward.

HAKKAI: Don't, this is bigger than you, than me. Let it finish.

Hakkai could see the fear in Sanzo's eyes. The arrogance, the haughtyness the brooding gone, as if they had never been there. The child held hostage by the God.

Sanzo took in no breath, stood still, head down, unable to see the look of terror in Goku's eyes, the tears.

GOKU: Sanzo, I...

SANZO: Shut up you stupid monkey.

Sanzo could feel the trigger move ever so slightly. He closed his eyes, resisting.

SANZO: So is this how we play the game. Use the monkey as a pawn for your little entertainment.

KANNON: Ah, so he does speak. You never change do you Konzen Douji. Even as I sit here about to deprive you of your flesh.

SANZO: Flesh is futile. Life is futile. I am nothing. He is nothing. This gun is nothing. It wont hurt me. Its illusion.

Sanzo lifted up his head and stopped struggling. He smiled a wicked smile as Jiroshin let his arms free. He looked into Goku's eyes, wide -- unflinching and in a movement unseen snatched the gun out of Goku's hand and leveled it at Kannon's temple, metal to flesh.

GOKU: Sanzo

JIROSHIN: Kanzeon Bosatsu?!

Gojyo looked at Hakkai in awe.

GOJYO: How. I didn't even see him.

KANNON: That's better. Your not resisting now.

SANZO: That I am

-------

Sanzo moved off, holding the gun over his right shoulder and backed away from her. He smiled malevolently with a light in his eye that seemed to radiate to the rest of his body as if he started to glow. Goku took a step back, as if he could feel the power well up around him, trying to move a safe distance.

SANZO: Goku,… its not you I have issue with.

Sanzo turned his back to her and laughed.

SANZO: What now old hag? I have little patience for your arrogance; your superiority complex is pissing me off.

KANNON: Konzen, that’s more like you.

SANZO: And what is that supposed to mean?

KANNON: It means it is time to remember…..

The air filled with the glare of pure energy engulfing the two of them and in an instant they were gone. Jiroshin as well. Leaving Gojyo, Hakkai and Goku to stare at each other blankly in the continuing rain.

CHAPTER 2

The world glared back at him white, nothingness, purity. Cherry blossoms from nowhere filtered in on a breeze as if the world began to materialize around him. The gold temple turrets with red clay and radiant blue displayed between pillars of grace under the light of the blue sky, a yellow sun, off to the left, unseen but felt with glorious deliberate ecumenical grace.

He glanced around gun in hand still leveled on Kannon, indirect, cautious, yet not overly vigilent. He was ready for the night, the day, whatever would appear before his eyes with a certain innocent and vainglorious disaster that was the imagination of a child. He wept internal, he could weep, but let nothing show.

SANZO: Where are we?!

KANNON: So demanding are we.

SANZO: Stop the bullshit, where are we and why am I here?

KANNON: So touchy

Sanzo leveled the gun on her again, this time with a determination that could be wavered.

SANZO: Get on with it.

KANNON: All right, come here.

Sanzo took a step forward, moving in tandem with the gun on her. She waved her arm and appeared before her a pool of lotus blossoms in a wide glistening glow of blue. Below he could see people, as he walked up closer to it, as if looking through a spy glass on the world moving just slightly faster than real life, as is a silent movie trying to be something other than it was, surreal, like newspeak in INGSOC and requiem dream light.

SANZO: Is this real?

He motioned with the gun twice at the pool watching the world, himself go by. The scene at the hotel, at the box outside. He watched it intently unable to see it really.

SANZO: Enough. So now I am here. What is the message?

KANNON: Why are you here Konzen Douji?

SANZO: You brought me here?

A figure appeared from behind her out of nowhere coming up slowly. Tall , he walked statuesque as if grandiose but serene and calculated. His hair brilliant yellow, long, like a mane, it swung behind his like a tail, or a cat. Rigid yet glowing with something unattainable.

KANNON: Konzen?

The figure stood before her not acknowledging Sanzo. Sanzo held the gun defensively held in front  of him. The figure handed Kannon a document and half bowed, half laughed as he disengaged. The figure took a step back and then turned to directly face Sanzo. Kannon laughed

KANNON: Konzen, meet thyself.

She swept her hand out in a wave of introduction and then looked at the tall figure, at Sanzo with eyes wide, and back at the tall one. The tall on met Kannon’s eyes, acknowledged the insanity of it all, and took a step towards Sanzo with hand outstretched.

SANZO: sa waru nai

KONZEN: I am you…

SANZO: What is this game.

He leveled the gun on Kannon again and took a step back, away from them but remembered the lotus pool behind him and stumbled, fell to the floor, again white, the golden palace, the cherry blossoms disappeared.

KANNON: Why are you here?

KONZEN: Who are you Sanzo, do you know?

Sanzo stayed down unable to return to his feet. The gold cold in his hands as if it could protect him, a psychological barrier with no meaning and no form. He looked down at the white floor, the impossible emptiness, the two figures before him.

SANZO: Shut up.

Sanzo stood up. Feet placed firmly on the ground ready to move, to react, to flee.

KANNON: Stop resisting your own words

The tall one walked over to Sanzo and stood straight in front of him, looking into his eyes. The horror as Sanzo looked into himself, into his soul. Sanzo leveled the gun at the tall one who pushed it aside like a toy. He produced a quill from an invisible pocket and held out Sanzo’s arm. Mesmerized, Sanzo submitted unapologetically, open, forgiving, accepting, breathing it in.

The tall one dug the quill into Sanzo’s flesh and wrote in Sanzo’s own blood. “Take refuge in the Buddha. the Sangha, the Dharma.”

Sanzo screamed a scream of raptured pain, silent, no noise –silent. The pain unbearable.

KANNON: Why are you resisting.

KONZEN: You are nothing…

Sanzo closed his mouth, breathed deeply, the blood dripping from his arm holding it close to his chest, hiding it from the whiteness. As if he could make it vanish by hiding it away…

KONZEN: All is vanity

KANNON: Stop resisting

SANZO: Leave me alone.

Sanzo tried to pull away. The pain in his arm like a bright light stinging through his nervous system a  thousand swords keep coming.

Konzen moved forward again this time ripping his shirt from the front, pulling him hard and forcing him to the ground. He leveled the quill on his chest and dug in above his left nipple and began to write in a mix of ink and blood.

“If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha.”

Sanzo screamed, from his very soul, beyond flesh, beyond mind.

KANNON: Jiroshin!

Jiroshin held down Sanzo’s arms. The tall one seated on Sanzos legs, holding him down at the knees, straddled over him so that he could not move.

KANNON: Stop resisting, all is fleeting, this is nothing but your own ephemeral nature

The tall one dug the quill in again. The kanji deep, the lines straight, calculated, deliberate

“If you meet you father, kill your...”

SANZO: get off me

KANNON: Your still resisting

The tall one leveled the quill with a hard blow and carved out the last character for father. Sanzo screamed the sound echoing through the heavens.

Goku bolted out of bed sitting straight up as if he were seeing something, hearing something. Ready to react, unable to react to nothing. Gojyo rubbed his eyes and sat up.

GOKU: Sanzo!

HAKKAI: Goku, what is it?!

GOJYO: What is all the noise?

HAKKAI: Goku must have had a bad dream. He seems to be talking in his sleep.

~to be continued ~

Edit2: 19 Auguest 2004

CHAPTER 3

Konzen threw Sanzo across the white floor blood dripping from his chest, his arms, unable to defend himself, hurt. The pain unbearable.

Sanzo licked his lips the blood warm and tinged with salt, coughing on the thickness. Konzen threw the gun at him, it glittered across the floor, metallic sound and came to rest at his head where he lay unable to move away from it.

KONZEN: Use it;

He hesitated, turning away slightly

KONZEN: …on yourself.

Konzen stood up and pushed the hair out of his face. Backing off and coming to stand in front of Kannon.

Sanzo groped for the gun, his sight failing, grabbed it and pushed himself away from them a trail of blood against the white mocking him.

KANNON: Is this what I can expect of you. Worthtless, Helpless.

He tried to stand using the gun to prop himself up, getting to his knees unable to raise himself any further. The warmth of a light warm against his face, hot almost, keeping the pain in his head at bay.

GOKU: SANZO!

Goku jumped up from the bed circling, as if he could see Sanzo, see him hurting.

GOKU: Don’t you hear him. It’s so loud, where is it?!…

Hakkai watched Goku circle the room, looking left, right, as if he were ready to fight, his head down, hands clenched. His irritation growing with each passing minute.

HAKKAI: There is no one here, Goku.

GOKU: Can’t you smell it, the blood.

Goku’s voice trailed off into a tone of fear, the onkey slowly backing off from the center of the room as if he could reach into the air and feel sanzo’s spirit…

GOJYO: Hakkai?

KANNON: So much energy.

Kannon approached him. Sanzo tried to level the gun on her weakly unable to focus, the feeling in his hands waning. His chest hurt, the blood slipping out from the wounds. He looked down at his arm, the flesh clearly carved up with words that mocked him like so much grafitti and useless teachings.

KANNON: Maybe he needs additional incentive?

Konzen looked up at her, smiled and vanished. 

Another figure appeared in the distance. Walking slowly smoking a cirgarette moving forward. He had on monk robes and long brown hair.

His gentle walk was pacifying. Sanzo could hardly make him out but the figure seemed familiar.

KOUMYO SANZO HOSHI: “Kouryu”

The voice called out. Sanzo’s eyes grew huge, as he tried to focus on the figure moving towards him. The voice familiar, filial.

KOUMYO: Kouryu. What are you doing?

Kannon watched with a certain malevolent smirk. Jiroshen appearing besides her.

JIROSHIN: Is this wise, Merciful Goddess?

KANNON: Nothing is beyond me. Let us see how this plays out. I can’t  have him here without a little fun and games.

Sanzo backed off from the presence coming towards him. His eye sight failing, vision blurred about to pass out.

SANZO: No…

Sanzo pulled himself to his feet with a will power and an inhuman force. He propped up his right arm, with his left hand, the gun leveled on the figure. Eyes wide, straight forward as if death were coming towards him in the face of innocence.

KANNON: Wake up, Genjyo Sanzo

She whispered hoping that this next game would bring about the inevitable

SANZO: No, no..

The figure held out his hand and touched his forehead, cold, lifeless, rifling the blond hair. Unable to move away, unreal.

He screamed an ugly sound and world went black…

CHAPTER 4

The rain has started again in the middle of the night, a relentless pounding, coming down unceasing. Goku had stayed up the night crouched in the corner of the room for a while staring straight forward into the center of the room, then suddenly he got up and ran outside into the night as if something were calling him. Gojyo could do nothing but watch as Hakki worried about something he could not see, nor understand.

JIROSHIN: Lady

KANNON: Leave him be…

She turned her back on the passed out Sanzo, snapped her fingers and then motioned to Jiroshin to follow.

KANNON: We’ll leave him to his little friends for now, but I’m not done with him. No yet…

Goku heard a noise from down the alley where the box remained. He could sense that something had changed and materialized his staff as he came closer. Hakkai had followed him outside with Gojyo trailing, his cigarette going out as he stepping into the rain, refusing to abandon it, now useless, for security, or maybe a familiar reminder of something in the past…

As Goku approached there seemed to be movement in the cardboard box, as if there were something inside. He ran up to it wary, and pulled back the flap.

GOKU: Sanzo!

He cried and dragged the bleeding Sanzo out from the cardboard and pulled him onto his shoulders, carrying him inside into the hotel, no thought, no hesitation, just activity, alive…

GOJYO: What is going on!?

GOKU: Hakkai help him.

Goku pleaded. Hakkai assessed Sanzo’s situation quickly, like a strategist, need to stop the bleeding first, then worry about the circumstances and next steps.

HAKKAI: Put him down on the bed. Gojyo set some bandages.

Hakkai leaned down over Sanzo and tried to pry off the remains of the white shirt he was wearing. Chi flowing, trying his best to alleviate some of the pain of the wounds. As he genty removed the fabric stuck to Sanzo’s chest, he could make out the kanji carved into his flesh, “if you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha…”. He said nothing just kept working.

GOJYO: What the!?

Gojyo barked as he stared down at Sanzo’s chest shocked. Hakkai gave Gojyo a look which made him push Goku back and away, as he rummaged around for the bandages.

GOJYO: Goku, help me

Distraction.  Hakkai whispered under his breath…

HAKKAI: What have you been doing Sanzo…..

Gojyo laid the bandages on the bed next to him; concentrating, gently picking cloth out of Sanzo’s wounds. Sanzo passed in and out of consciousness, mercifully, his wounds had put him out enough so that he could no longer feel anything…

HAKKAI: Take Goku outside, will you Gojyo.

GOJYO: Sure

Gojyo complied without comment leading Goku away. He could see the look of fear in the monkey’s eyes, pushing him down the hall out of the room, reluctant but obedient, like a wounded animal…

Hakkai set his hands onto Sanzo’s chest, his flesh cold the blood unnaturally warm and closed his eyes.

HAKKAI: I’m sorry friend, I have to do this.

With hands plastered against Sanzo’s chest at the heart he sent a forceful burst of chi like fire through Sanzo’s body, forcing him back into consciousness with a raucous scream, eyes flared open in sheer terror, his whole body twitching to life in a frightful instance, the sound that issued from his lungs like death itself, unholy….

GOKU: Sanzo!

Goku screamed, pushing past  Gojyo who could do nothing else to try to hold him back.  Goku broke out of Gojyo’s hold and burst into the room to find Sanzo sitting bolt upright staring straight ahead as if he were seeing a ghost. Hakkai behind him, a soothing light of chi flowing into Sanzo’s body.

Sanzo did not blink, did not move for a long time, as if he were some place else, confronting something, someone.

Goku stood frozen, Gojyo unable to get past the look in Sanzo’s eyes. After a time, Sanzo seemed to remember to breathe and then looked down at his hands in terror, as if remembering something from yesterday, or from long long ago. Gojyo looked past Sanzo at Hakkai a look of concern.

Sanzo seemed to move in slow motion, turning his hands over front and back slowly as if seeing them for the first time. Tears streaming down his face, hardly breathing, rigid except for his hands. And then, he turned his head to Hakkai who had stopped the healing, and looked up into the dark green eyes pleading, his gaze going past him, crazed… and whispered

SANZO: So much blood….

HAKKAI: Sanzo?

Sanzo then turned to Gojyo, drawn to the red, as if it were a beacon. The words coming out of him on a whisp of air…

SANZO: I couldn’t save him.

From the golden lotus pool up, she leaned against her throne, her dark hair hanging luxuriously down to her waist, watching…

KANNON: Come Jiroshin, it is time to begin the second stage of our little game

JIROSHIN: And just exactly what do you have in mind.

He hesitated as he walked behind her. He could tell that mischevious grin that she had the whole plan worked out from the start, and even knew the ending, she was just waiting for all the pieces to unravel at the correct time and in the correct order and manner.

KANNON: You’ll see. Our little Konzen, is about to have a waking dream that he will not soon forget.

She laughed to herself quietly.

After you remember your dreams, Konzen Douji, will you still be his sun???