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| THE AMAZING CORAL CASTLE IN HOMESTEAD, FLORIDA |
One
of our favorite websites belongs to one of Florida's coolest, strangest tourist
attractions, Coral Castle. The story behind it is almost as odd as the place itself. We've all had our hearts broken at one time or another, but most of us eventually
get over it. Ed Leedskalnin was one of the exceptions. When his nubile, capricious teenage fiancé gave him the bum's
rush the day before the wedding (he was 26, she was 16), he did what any jilted, half-mad Latvian immigrant
might do: he moved to Florida and spent the next 28 years carving a miniature theme park out of solid coral.
He worked alone, yet was able to carve and precisely place enormous blocks of stone weighing nearly 60 tons apiece. Some of
the pieces are so precisely balanced they can be swiveled and moved at the touch of a finger. Nobody's quite sure how
he did it. Aficionados of the paranormal suggest that Ed had managed to harness unknown electromagnetic forces.
As evidence they point to the rusting shards of the Frankenstein-like apparatus in the main tower. Weird! In the
1960s, Coral Castle was used as a location for two films: the obscure Jimmy the Boy Wonder (1966),
by erstwhile goremeister Herschell Gordon Lewis (Two Thousand Maniacs ); and Nude on the Moon (1961),
Doris Wishman's hilarious, "nudie-cutie" sendup of 1950s sci-fi thrillers. Whatever your pleasure, Coral Castle is one of
the Sunshine State's oldest and oddest attractions. Worth a visit if you're in the area. (In the meantime, you can
check out their website by clicking here, or on the picture above.)
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With 25,000 new residents
swarming to Florida every month, one unintended benefit of having had three fatal alligator attacks in one year may
be that potential immigrants will think twice before moving to a peninsula infested with large carnivorous reptiles. One can
hope. But if you're among the majority of Floridians who've never actually seen a real alligator--let alone gotten
close enough to be eaten by one--GATORLAND offers a thrilling, up-close look at the Sunshine State's original apex predator. Located on south US 441 between
Orlando and Kissimmee, Gatorland is a glorious holdover from the heyday of mid-century roadside tourist attractions. Even
Disney couldn't kill it. But then, Disney doesn't have live alligator wrestling, or barbecued baby gator ribs
(they're yummy!). The park has been beautifully kept, and is constantly upgraded. Among recent additions: a creepy boardwalk
that meanders through a gator-infested swamp. Our favorite, though, is the ominous Jurassic Park-like Jungle Crocs
exhibit, one highlight of which is a visit to the pack-hunting Cuban crocodile paddock. (Don't get too close, though, they've
been systematically testing the fences for weaknesses.) If you can't get there in person, check out the live gator cam
at their website by clicking here or on the photo.
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| CLICK ME IF YOU DARE . . . |
What's funnier than a poke in the nose? A poke
in the nose that comes out your eye, as depicted in this unretouched photo from Rotten.com, the Worldwide Web's chief repository for the grotesque. The Internet is littered with grisly
web sites (road-kill on the Information Superhighway?), yet for all its subversive gore and irony, Rotten.com
does a kind of public service. The sad and unspeakable images offer a bracing reminder of the frailty of life, and that's
not necessarily a bad thing. If you're new to the site, though, proceed with caution, otherwise
you're in for some nasty shocks. Not for the young or squeamish.
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The U.S. Department of Defense is in the
business of administering industrial-strength butt-whippings, or "conflict resolution," which they do very effectively
when they're not being hamstrung by incompetent politicians and delusional political appointees. There are many
cool things in the Dept. of Defense, like Navy SEALs, Delta Force, and Groom Lake (aka, Area 51). The official D.o.D. web
site, which you are about to enter, Mr. Phelps, also has something else that's very cool: tankerloads of free,
high-resolution photos of everything from lethal Seahawk helicopters to everybody's favorie nutty uncle, Don Rumsfeld.
Just click the D.o.D symbol and you're in like Flint...
Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi is one of the
most popular leaders in modern Japanese history. He's young, he's hip, and the chicks flip for him! To visit
his official website, click the photo.
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| SO MUCH NAPALM...SO LITTLE TIME |
This guy, Jon, has a web site called PDPhoto.org that's filled with more royalty-free pictures than
you can shake a licensing agreement at! This great photo of a triple-fireball, for example. (Oh, great. I
was going to use it in the next issue.) Did I mention the pictures are free? Some people don't believe
it. They keep writing to ask if the pictures really are free, and he keeps saying "Yes! Now stop bothering me!"
Click the fireball and check out the library. (Its free.)
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"Gimp Savvy was one of the hardest men I ever knew.
I heard that his wagon burned up in Bozeman and he went all the way to Fairbanks on foot."
-- James Hickock, 1875
Actually, Gimp Savvy isn't a person, we just made that up. It's actually
a web site, called Gimp-savvy.org. And that fellow, the one in the hat? We're not sure of
his name, but it could be Gimp. Anyway, his photo is among scores of royalty-free images available
for download. Just click on old "Gimp" and see for yourself!
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Amnesty International
is one of the world's foremost human rights organizations, dedicated to stopping torture, summary execution, and
other gross abuses around the globe. If you're interested in helping out, click the candle and join Amnesty International. If you can't afford the modest membership fee, at least sign up for one of AI's Urgent
Action letter-writing campaigns. You can save a life just by writing a letter. And you'll sleep
the sleep of the innocent and the just.
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"If we turn our heads and look away and hope
that it will all disappear then they will - all of them, an entire generation of people. And we will have only history left
to judge us."
-George Clooney
April 30, 2006, Washington
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