WASHINGTON
- With his approval ratings sagging into the low 30s, President Bush on Friday made a last-ditch effort to reenergize
support among social conservatives by declaring a "war on horror," comparing movie villain Ardath Bey to terror
mastermind Osama bin Laden. The announcement came after a White House security briefing during which the president was shown several mummy films.
"We are winning the war on
terror, " said Bush, who appeared shaken but resolute. "Now it's time to win the war on horror."
Ardath Bey, aka, Mehmet
Bay, is the spiritual leader
of a group of religious extremists who, over the course of several films between 1932 and 2001, committed a series of
ritualistic slayings and attempted to bring Egyptian mummies back to life.
In the 1959 film, Terror of the Mummy, Bey apparently was murdered by
the reanimated mummy of an Egyptian prince named Kharis, however experts who have examined the footage say that
it was actually British actor George Pastell who dies in the film.
Over the years, Bey, or somebody who resembled him, has appeared
in a number of mummy films including The Mummy's Hand (1940), The Mummy's
Tomb (1942), The Mummy's Ghost (1944), and Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955).
According to witnesses who have seen the films, Bey usually sported a red fez and a clipped moustache, and spoke in a
sinister, lilting accent.
"There is no greater evil than that which people find is---pushing," said
the President, trying to find the right words. "It's pushy, when people just want to relax and go shopping,
or go to Disney World, without worrying about these evildoers. They're murdering innocent people with tea leaves
because they've got a mummy. How crazy is that? It doesn't
make any sense in a free market economy, and I want to send a clear message to Mr. Bey and his thugs: you can run but you can't hide. Just ask Mr. bin Laden."
When asked why the 911 mastermind hadn't
yet been captured, Bush responded, "You know, I don't spend a lot of time thinking about bin Laden, and where he
is, or what he might be doing. I just don't. It would be counterproductive. We've got a host of
other issues facing us right now, like the war on terror, which we're now taking to the next level by including horror.
"Terror and horror are not the same things, see," said
Bush. "Terror is fear of the known. Horror is fear of the unknown. As Don Rumsfeld pointed out, you've
got the known knowns and the known unknowns. But make no mistake, we will find Mr. Bey and bring him to justice."
In response to the president's statements, Egyptian
Defense Minister Mohamed Hussein Tantawi reaffirmed Egypt's commitment to the war on terror but was unable to offer any information
about Bey or his whereabouts.
