THE SEARCH FOR THE RIGHT SCHOOL...
If you can, start looking at least one year before you have to make the decision. This allows you to visit more places and talk to more people, and takes some of the pressure off of the decision-making year. However, a few of the schools will not allow you to visit in advance of the year you're applying.
You are likely to find that there is no such thing as "the best" school; there are many great choices available in the Bay Area. Look for a comfortable fit with your family's values, resources, needs and expectations.
Don't rely on test scores to tell you which school is "best". High test scores most strongly reflect the socioeconomic status of the parents and/or academic pre-screening. (It is no accident that the public schools with the highest test scores tend to be in the neighborhoods with the highest housing costs!) You may find slightly lower test scores at schools with excellent teachers and a more heterogeneous student body. You'll have to think about where you want to live, what kind of community you want your child to experience, what you can afford, and how you can save for college.
You are not only choosing an academic and social experience for your child, you are also choosing a community of friends for your family. Try to find opportunities to meet parents at the school; find out whether there are school social events which you can attend.
Talk to your preschool teachers if your child is in preschool, and talk to your friends, but beware of rumors and anecdotes. Ask parents or administrators at the schools about any rumors you may have heard. One person's dissatisfaction with a school may have more to do with a "bad fit" than a problem with the school. Reputations have a long life, even when a school may have changed. Many schools are in the midst of making significant changes in their structure, academic direction, faculty, etc. Be sure that your information is up to date, and that the label ("academic", "diverse". etc.) is both deserved and meaningful.
Take every opportunity possible to get to know schools which interest you. Go to the elementary and middle school open houses, try to talk to as many teachers and staff members as possible, ask for names of parents you can talk to. Find out if there are school events such as fairs, holiday programs, multicultural/diversity programs to attend. Try lurking on campus at the beginning or end of the day in order to see parents, teachers and kids interacting.
Notice whether you feel comfortable and welcome at the school. Do you feel genuinely excited about the school? Pay attention to your "gut" reaction.
Remember that kindergarten is only one year! Try to get a feel for teachers and curriculum at each grade level. First grade and fourth grade are two interesting "transition" years to observe.
If you have, or expect to have, more than one child, you may not want to tailor the choice to your eldest child, but rather try to find a school that can accommodate different types of children.
If you are coping with something like the Berkeley "school choice" system, and do not get the school that was your first choice, you may wish to talk to other parents who have successfully navigated the system.
PRIVATE SCHOOLS
Try not to subject your child to too many interviews/visits. If you're feeling anxious, try not to convey this to your child. You may wish to tell your child that you are looking forward to finding out about different kinds of kindergartens. Ask for your child's opinion, but remember that their point of view will not include the "big picture". For example, a child will interpret their interview/visit day quite literally. They may believe, for instance, that the children they saw there will be the ones they go to school with, and the testing situation represents a typical day at school.
Instead of telling the child that you are trying to choose the school you like the best (which could backfire if your favorite school doesn't choose you), or telling the child that the school is going to pick the kids they like the best or do the best on tests (which may make the child feel anxious), you may wish to speak in 5 year old terms: "we are going to find out which school has a cubby for you."
Be prepared for the possibility that your child may not be accepted to your favorite school, or that your child's best friend may not be. If you become confused about your priorities, it can be helpful to refer to your notes. Try using a "comparison worksheet" such as the one in the Neighborhood Moms private school directory to keep track of your priorities.
Pay attention to the way you are treated in each private school admissions process. How did you feel about the tone of the letter you received? How open was the admissions department to discussion of your place on the wait list, or the reasons for accepting/declining your child? How does this make you feel about the school? Better than expected? Worse?
If you are accepted to more than one private school, please decline the "extra" acceptances immediately so that people who are wait-listed can move up on the list. Try to avoid the temptation to hold onto acceptances for a long time, and, even if you can afford to pay more than one deposit, remember that by holding on to two spaces you are depriving someone else of their choice.
If you are wait listed at your favorite private school, be sure to tell the school that it is your first choice, and ask how likely it is that you will move up on the wait list soon.
If you have any doubts about why your child was wait listed, or accepted/declined, by all means talk to the admissions director. You may be pleasantly surprised to find out how well they know your child and appreciate them, or you may feel they missed the boat. Either way, this may help you sort out your feelings about the school. If the school feels that your child is not ready for kindergarten, or has special needs, you may wish to consult a specialist who can help you determine the next best step.
RESOURCES
Neighborhood Moms publishes School Directories for preschools, public and private elementary schools of the East Bay. Call (510) 527-6667 to obtain a directory, and watch for their fall informational evenings and parent round tables. The NMs directories and round tables provide a unique opportunity to hear other parents speak about their schools.
The East Bay Independent Schools Association has recently begun publishing a guide to East Bay private schools. The schools work collaboratively on the guide, rather than as competitors, with the idea that families and schools both benefit when families choose the school with the best "fit". The second edition is now available, with information on 37 schools. There are plans to produce the guide every two years. Copies are available for $9.95 at many local bookstores or through Betsy Willson at Berkwood Hedge School, 883-6992.
The UCB Parents website has a compendium of recommendations and advice on East Bay preschools, public schools, and private schools.
You may wish to use an educational consultant to guide you through the process. For names of local consultants, check Parents Press or other local parenting publications.
The Parents Guide to Alternatives in Education by Ronald Koetzsch, published by Shambhala Publications, describes the philosophy and methodology of schools with many different approaches to early childhood education such as Montessori, Waldorf, home schooling, various schools by religion, and even Holistic schools.
Test scores for California Public Schools can be found online, at but please remember that test scores are only one measure of the quality of a school, and in fact are primarily correlated with the education and resources of parents at the school. The qualities of the teachers, administrators, curriculum and facilities are not so easily measured. Test scores will not reveal the warmth of the community, the kindness of the staff, the breadth of the curriculum, or whether the children feel inspired and delighted by their teachers. Your visit to the school will tell you much more.
If you know of other good resources, or would like to pass along some words of advice which helped you in the school decision-making process, please send them to the NMs Web Mama...
http://home.earthlink.net/~natashab/NMsorting.html
Sorting Through the Choices, revised 4 November 1999
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