"Wakyou!" Sakuya screamed at the floor which had closed behind his best friend. He smashed his fist against it, punching the unresponsive tiles which had swallowed.... "WAKYOU!!"
The floor did not open; the demons who had stolen Bishuu-sama's other mirror did not return for Sakuya as well.
Rasen no Kakera: By Sakuya's Side
by K.Huntsman
released 24th December 1999
When did I first know?
Or, when did I not know?
I watch him with these eyes, with Bishuu-sama's eyes, and wonder if Sakuya has any idea of how much I need him. Bishuu-sama's other shadow warrior....
Sakuya makes my heart ache. He is truly an innocent, free of the curse that follows me from lifetime to lifetime. He has no idea of what it is like, to hear your mother call you a demon. He is good, and genuinely loving. He has never been hurt, and so knows not what it is to be hurt.
I want him... I want that sincerity, that trust, that upright nature. I want to be him, be like him... but at the same time, I cannot envy him. To envy him would be to want to take that away from him, and I cannot. Somewhere, somewhen, I think I was offered a choice....
I have Bishuu-sama's purple eyes, eyes that have caused me no end of grief, eyes that caused the wakening of my memories and half of Bishuu-sama's power early. Sakuya... Okino Kazuki... he has Bishuu-sama's voice, a safer thing. An innocuous thing. I took the choice to have Bishuu-sama's eyes and sight to keep Sakuya from what they would cause to his pure life. To keep him from that pain....
Sakuya. Proud, beautiful Sakuya. Boyish Sakuya. Loyal Sakuya. Sakuya whom I could use a thousand flattering adjectives to describe.
*Straight* Sakuya.
I fell in love a lifetime ago, I think. When he and I wore different faces and were like brothers in our service of Bishuu-sama.... I never thought of such things then. Bishuu-sama was the world, the sun, the night, and *him* I would not, could not, think of in such an impure manner. I still can't. Not as he was, as Bishuu, or as he is, as Masayuki. But the blinding love I felt for him sheathed all else, consumed in flames of purity that which I felt for Sakuya.
Only now, when Bishuu is not Bishuu, and we are both clothed in his semblance, does the light which is what I feel for Sakuya shine, unhidden by a greater nova.
***
That night in bed, Sakuya, Kazuki Okino, couldn't sleep. Fingers knotted beneath his sheets as he stared at the ceiling. He needed to get Wakyou back!
*/begindream/*
"Wakyou!" Sakuya tackled his friend to the ground, sheltering him with his own body from the blast that he'd sensed--/sensed?/--coming as the wall--/a chem lab explosion?/--exploded outwards--/Garai's doing?/--at the two of them. Plaster and bits of rubble and dust rained down on them, turning the air into a grayish fog hard to breathe. Sakuya started coughing, until enough of his brain caught up with him for him to simply clear the air around them with a filtering shield constructed of his own will.
His ears were still ringing from the blast, and Sakura wondered if he'd been hit on the head by a particularly large chunk of debris or something and his brain addled because of it, since Wakyou was looking at him, those gold-rimmed glasses hanging slightly askew on his face, with a look in his eyes that made Sakuya nervous and hoping Wakyou hadn't been possessed again. It was a look of infinite care and something in his eyes that spoke of Wakyou holding onto a lot of hurt and a very old pain and not sharing it with anyone, not even Sakuya, who surely had the right, being Wakyou's best friend....
It was a look that gave Sakuya the queasy feeling that he was more important than anyone in the world; more important than even Bishuu-sama.
Wakyou didn't say anything, just reached up and traced, that terrible look of quiet, pained longing still in his eyes, fingers along Sakuya's cheek.
And then, just as Sakuya's brain started working enough to put the pieces of that touch and that look together and start screaming a warning at him, Wakyou's other hand came up as well and between the two hands Sakuya found himself drawn down towards Wakyou's face, towards that countenance identical to his own, to those purple eyes of Bishuu-sama's from behind which the spark that was Wakyou looked at him, crying wordlessly /I need you--please need me./
And as Wakyou's violet eyes drifted closed and their mouths touched, Sakuya's brain shut down altogether, leaving him with only the fact that /Wakyou was in love with him./
***
Wakyou kissed Sakuya, too tired of hiding to care any more.
There was no way he could screw up his life any more, and he had to trust someone. /Please, Sakuya.../ he thought, not sharing the thought, but silently begging what gods might be listening to him, please..../
/I don't want to open my eyes./
/I don't want to see you hating me./
/Please, Sakuya..../
/*Please*..../
/But what I want has never made a difference, has it?/
He opened his eyes, slowly, releasing Sakuya from the kiss--/how gentle, the touch of Sakuya's mouth/--and looked into the nut-brown eyes above him.
/If Sakuya says no, I'll crumple inwards... I'll die. I'll have nothing left, and not even my love for Bishuu-sama will sustain me..../
"Please," he whispered. "Don't abandon me, Sakuya... don't hate me... please...."
He let his hands drift away. He released Sakuya.
***
Sakuya stared at Wakyou. Something was wrong with Wakyou, very wrong. And this time it wasn't possession. "Wakyou...?" he asked, keeping his voice soft so that it wouldn't tremble. Wakyou was in love with him. Another guy. Him. He didn't pull away, keeping carefully close to his friend. "Wakyou, what's wrong?"
Wakyou's brilliant eyes closed and Sakuya was pulled down with an "oof!" into a tight grab.
//Don't leave me alone, Sakuya.//
//I won't. What's wrong?// Held tight against Wakyou, Sakuya moved an arm to gently brush fingers through the other's short, silky hair. //Tell me what's wrong, Wakyou. I won't leave you alone, I promise.// He breathed, and listened to Wakyou's breath.
//I don't want to be alone anymore.// Wakyou's mental voice was edged with unhappiness. //Do you know how long I looked before finding you, Sakuya? I was alone for years. I was...
//...feared...
//...hated...
//...all alone.//
Sakuya couldn't get out of Wakyou's tight embrace, and he found he didn't quite want to. "I don't want to be alone anymore," Wakyou whispered aloud, voice rough.
"'Salright," Sakuya soothed. "It's alright, Wakyou. You're not alone; I'm not going to let you be alone." His fingers kept going through Wakyou's hair, the motion slow, repetitive, calming. "You're not alone now. You found me, and you're not alone."
Dammit, what should he do now? Sakuya managed to move enough to look into Wakyou's eyes again.
It was a mistake; Wakyou's gaze, so empty, made any resolve Sakuya might have had melt away.
/Oh hell./
In their last lifetime there hadn't been much of a chance to be teenagers. There hadn't exactly been a red light district in the village, or many girls around to look at in the first place, as their fathers tended to keep them hidden in the house when Wakyou and Sakuya were around. Bishuu-sama might have been respected, but he was still a half-demon, and some of that reputation rubbed off onto his two wards. Sakuya had never cared; girls seemed like useless creatures to him most of the time anyway. But Wakyou had been hurt by the lack of friends or prospective wives... now Wakyou was going through two puberties at once or something, his attentions focused on Sakuya....
Sakuya couldn't deny Wakyou something his friend needed so badly. Couldn't ever do that. Wakyou loved him. Not Bishuu-sama, not Masayuki, not anyone else... only him. Plain, common Sakuya. Pretty Wakyou, smart Wakyou, Wakyou who could have had his pick of anyone....
It made Sakuya feel almost special, if only a little less confused.
"You're never alone," he soothed one last time, letting the look in his own eyes convey his intentions as he smiled a soft smile and willed them away from the cold tile and rubble of the school floor.
They landed on the yielding surface of a bed with a slight bounce. Wakyou looked around. "Why my place?" he asked.
Sakuya looked down at his friend. "Well, if you'd rather have my sister or parents catching us...."
Wakyou grimaced. "Point taken."
"On the other hand," Sakuya countered himself, grinning at Wakyou, "it could be fun to see their faces when they saw me making out with my double...."
"Sakuya!" Wakyou had a look of glowering outrage on his face. It was really cute.
"You're way too easy to provoke, Wa-chan," Sakuya teased.
Wakyou continued glowering. Sakuya chuckled.
"You really are," he confirmed, then leaned down and absorbed Wakyou's more immediate attentions into a kiss. He'd kissed enough girls in this lifetime to be good at that, at least. Wakyou evidently hadn't, and was more clumsy about it. But Wakyou was a quick study.... "Pretty Wakyou," Sakuya breathed when he came up for air, combing Wakyou's hair back with his fingers. "Bishuu-sama's pretty Wakyou. My pretty Wakyou...."
Wakyou drew him back down for another kiss.
***
Wakyou started working Sakuya's jacket off as Sakuya removed his glasses, setting them aside. "No dust from the explosion," Wakyou teased a little breathlessly. "You're getting better." Sakuya traced fingers on his skin, a touch almost unbearably gentle. Wakyou almost lost his breath, the compulsion was so strong to take that touch and keep it inside him forever, a shield against the time when caresses might turn to blows.
/Sakuya of the sunshine./
/I know you don't love me, Sakuya..../
/... but at least you're letting me love you./
Wakyou traced fingers down Sakuya's strong arms, still hidden under a shirt. Memories of harvest time flashed through his mind, a moment's pause to wipe the sweat off his forehead, watching Sakuya swing the scythe back and forth, tireless, almost never stopping even to catch his breath. Sakuya, during the rice harvest, drenched in sunshine....
Sakuya's mouth touched Wakyou's again, and Wakyou could taste that sunshine on Sakuya's lips.
Then, without warning, that second sight that came with these eyes kicked in and twisted his view away. It wasn't Okino Kazuki, Sakuya with Bishuu-sama's face, that Wakyou was looking at anymore. It was Sakuya... only Sakuya.
***
Sakuya smiled very softly between kisses as he heard the sound of the rain pattering on Wakyou's window. Rain went with Wakyou.
/I remember watching you stand in the rain, letting it wash over you, wet your hair and clothes against you, cleanse you..../
/Pretty Wakyou who never caught a cold afterwards./
/I remember you watching the rain... such a wistful, waiting look on your face./
/And you wrote "monkey" on my face when I fell asleep on your shoulder, jerk./
Sakuya grinned, remembering that after centuries, considering a later retribution since that small chunk of his memory had now returned.
But for now there was only holding Wakyou, keeping him safe from his demons, loving him in the way that only a guy who'd spent two lifetimes knowing Wakyou would consider. Clothing came off, both of theirs, garments falling over the side of Wakyou's bed until it was just the two of them and nothing else at all. Two identical boys' bodies....
Sakuya swallowed at the thought. Two guys together....
But....
Wakyou's hand reached up to touch his face, and Sakuya couldn't help looking at the violet eyes below him. Wakyou was looking at him like he was a treasure... like he was something special. /Maybe I am, to you./
Wakyou's eyes glowed all of a sudden and Sakuya froze. /Oh shit, don't be seeing something, not now--/
Wakyou smiled. "Sakuya," he said in rough language, "it's you."
/Me?/
/Oh... you're seeing me as I was./
/Figures, with Bishuu-sama's eyes..../
***
Wakyou's fingers, driven by a tactile curiosity, drifted until they rested just on Sakuya's bare collarbone. He looked at that, at the sight of his fingernails against Sakuya's bare skin, then back up at Sakuya's eyes, needing to know if it was really okay. Okay for him to touch like this....
Sakuya looked a little scared as their eyes met. "Wakyou," he said, "I've never... I don't know *how*...."
"At all, or just with another guy?"
Sakuya flushed.
Wakyou smiled; Sakuya was cute when he was blushing. "I do," he confessed, fingers slowly moving along the line of that collarbone.
"You do?"
"I read a lot." Wakyou grasped the both of them with Bishuu-sama's power and twisted so that Sakuya was on the bottom and he was suddenly on top. He looked down at Sakuya, at the charming boyish face from another lifetime, and then willed the sight away.
"Is it all right?" he asked Kazuki-Sakuya. He waited until he got a nod for an answer before gently closing a hand around Sakuya's erection. Sakuya gasped, and Wakyou smiled in pleasure, knowing that he'd been the cause of his friend getting this turned on. Sakuya might be straight, and he might not be in love with Wakyou, but there were certain things his body couldn't deny.... Slowly he trailed a single finger across the slit in the head, watching the minute changes in Sakuya's expression. Sakuya was such a virgin... it was beautiful. Sakuya was beautiful.
***
Sakuya writhed under Wakyou's touch for minutes, squirming against that pleasure Wakyou's hand caused *there*, wanting more, not wanting more, wanting he didn't know what. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore--it felt too good--and reached up and grabbed Wakyou by the hips, pulling his friend down on top of his own body. He felt himself straining between the two of them, hot, hard, even just the contact of Wakyou's skin making him incredibly frustrated. "What the hell was that!?"
"You didn't like it?" Wakyou's voice, soft by his ear, sounded thin and hurt.
Sakuya took a deep breath, trying to get his mind back in control of his body. He relaxed his shoulders and his tight grasp on Wakyou, trying to calm down so that he'd chose the right words and not hurt Wakyou. "I liked it a lot, Wakyou," he said, feeling the way his heart raced in his chest. "Way lot."
"Oh... good," Wakyou said, relaxing into Sakuya's body, nestling so that his chin fit over the curve of Sakuya's shoulder.
Sakuya took another three breaths, then smiled and turned to whisper in Wakyou's ear, "Whatever you get to do to me, I get to do back to you. Fair?"
***
"Fair," Wakyou returned, closing his eyes as Sakuya's hand closed around his penis. Their bodies still pressed together, Sakuya took his time touching Wakyou, fingers going up and down the shaft, echoing Wakyou's own movements, paying particular attention to the skin just below the mushroom head, causing waves of fire to spread out through Wakyou from that slow touch, a gentle callused thumb rubbing over the head. Sakuya's own hardness, pressed against his hip, fell away from Wakyou's mind as sparkles of sensation rocked through him. He wanted more... more of the touch, more of Sakuya, more of everything. He pushed himself to his hands and knees, pushing against Sakuya's hand as it slid around him. Blood rushed through him, pulsing at that touch....
"What next?" Sakuya asked from below him.
Wakyou focused on Sakuya's face. Next? Sakuya wanted to go farther? Oh....
"First... stop doing *that*," Wakyou instructed. Sakuya snatched away his hand, which had been continuing to stroke Wakyou, as though it had been burned. He smiled a little guiltily and Wakyou tried not to be so conscious of how hard he felt against the air. He took a deep breath and slowly scooted down his bed until he was at the level of Sakuya's hips. Sakuya's erection was there, standing away from his body. Wakyou carefully held it in his hand. "Next... is this," he said, and lowered his head to go down on Sakuya.
Sakuya's hips bucked as Wakyou's tongue went around the tip of his penis and Wakyou sat back up, glaring at the panting Sakuya. "Don't make me tie you down," he threatened.
"You can do whatever you want to me if you do that too," Sakuya promised rashly, his eyes looking more than a little glazed over.
"Idiot," Wakyou mumbled, then considered the picture of Sakuya tied to his bed. "Hmmmm...." He made a mental note to try that some other time if he ever got the chance. He lowered his head again, holding both hands against Sakuya's hips this time. He swallowed the head of the other's penis into his mouth, only the head, moving his tongue around it, tasting the drop of pungent muskiness that was Sakuya's pre-cum, then bobbed lower, taking as much of the shaft in as he could. He freed one hand to tease the rest with the same light strokes as before, then the other, holding Sakuya down with the force of Bishuu-sama's power as his friend tried to buck up again and bury himself in Wakyou's mouth. Sakuya's groan was very satisfying, and Wakyou smiled as he pulled away and sat up on his heels, both hands still lightly working Sakuya's shaft. "Like that?" he asked conversationally. Sakuya's answer was incoherent.
With another small part of Bishuu-sama's power, Wakyou found the hand cream he kept in his bathroom and brought it between spaces to where he was. Still keeping Sakuya lightly pinned to his bed, he coated his hands with the stuff. One hand went around Sakuya's shaft again; the other touched lightly at Sakuya's anus.
"Sakuya," he said in a soft voice. "Sakuya, will you let me?"
***
Sakuya blinked as Wakyou's handling of him stopped and a question was presented. "Let you what?" he managed to say from somewhere around and behind the pounding of his blood in his ears.
"This," Wakyou said, serious violet eyes looking at him. A finger touched Sakuya's asshole and he got a clue fast.
"Wakyou...!" He stared, startled. Then Sakuya's common sense took over as Wakyou's eyes darkened, closing in hurt shame. Wakyou would never knowingly do anything that would hurt him. Sakuya reached up to his double and pulled him down until their mouths met in a kiss. Wakyou's eyes flickered open, looking confused. "Sure you can," Sakuya soothed as they broke apart. "Just remember that I get to do it to you the next time." He grinned playfully at his best friend.
"Next time...?" Wakyou's eyes were wide with surprise. Then he smiled, something that seemed to light him up from inside like he was a paper lantern. "I'll hold you to that promise, Sakuya." He sealed the oath with another kiss.
Slowly, a finger pushed into Sakuya from outside, and he tried to relax. It didn't actually feel that bad, just not natural.
But this was Wakyou touching him, pushing gently inside, taking his time and care. Wakyou, whom Sakuya trusted as he trusted no other. Suddenly the two of them becoming one took on a whole new meaning, and Sakuya had to wonder if Bishuu-sama had forseen this development between his two apprentices.
The thought flushed heat through him. He didn't *want* Bishuu-sama to know about his and Wakyou's sex life!
He looked up into Wakyou's amethyst gaze as a second digit began to work inside him. In his friend's eyes there was hope and fear and longing.
"Wakyou," Sakuya said simply, and drew the other down to him for another kiss. One hand found his identical's cock, and began to caress that shaft again. Wakyou whimpered into his mouth at the new sensation. Sakuya smiled and released him. "Go ahead," he gave permission.
Wakyou's fingers withdrew and something more substantial presented itself in their place.
***
Wakyou pressed into Sakuya's body, pushing slowly past the initial resistance of that supine form. //Oh Gods,// he thought, gasping for breath. He could feel Sakuya's thoughts echoing his as hands clutched at each other. //So tight,// he managed.
//So big,// Sakuya superimposed. Then the other opened brown eyes, neck arching back. //Go on, Wakyou.// Sakuya's heat clenched around him, wicked and deliberate.
Wakyou took a shaky breath, freeing one hand from Sakuya's to touch the slender body beneath him, and slowly drew out only to push in again. The tight friction was intoxicating. "Oh, Sakuya..." he whispered, awed that his friend would trust him enough, would consider him worthy of this most intimate thing.
Sakuya's hips canted up towards him, still that look of gentle willingness on the other's face and in his eyes, one hand clasping Wakyou's, the other running lightly down his side. "Go on," he urged again.
Giving up hesitation, Wakyou pushed in again and again, letting the heat-soaked clenching of Sakuya's body surround him like flames. The other boy's erection pressed against his hip and he moved his hand to that, surrounding him, driving Sakuya back and forth through the tunnel of his hand in time with his own body's motion.
He pushed deep and was rewarded with a gasping cry as he hit a certain spot. Smiling with a certain pleasure, he aimed for that point in Sakuya's body again and pushed harder against it, rubbing a thumb over the head of his friend's staff.
"Wa...kyou!" Sakuya sobbed, voice breaking in the middle of his name.
Then it was only pushing in more and more firmly, feeling the body around him growing tighter and tighter, winding him up into twisted strings of pleasure until Sakuya screamed, actually screamed below him, and shuddered, his shaft in Wakyou's hand spurting out cream as his body tensed.
//Oh Gods,// Sakuya sobbed in his thoughts, and Wakyou nearly couldn't breathe through the incredible tightness that gripped him, bringing him to the edge until one final stroke tipped him over the edge into that same abyss,
falling
through rushing blackness
into the enormity of the pleasure.
When he woke, some time later, Wakyou was still lying on top of Sakuya, held in the other boy's arms. Rain pattered against the window.
"Sa...kuya?" he managed, not very intelligently.
"Oh, you're awake," the other said, turning thoughtful brown eyes to Wakyou. A gentle smile bloomed. "You passed out. Was it that good?"
"Mm?" Wakyou couldn't move, couldn't think. They were no longer connected, but Sakuya's legs still lay open to him. Something sticky warmed between their bodies. They probably both needed showers.
His eyes closed again and he lay against Sakuya's shoulder, feeling the soft rise and fall of the other breathing. A soft hand ran through his hair in a careful gesture.
Held in Sakuya's arms, Wakyou was at peace.
*/enddream/*
Sakuya thrashed upright in his bed, heart pounding as he gasped for breath. His pyjama bottoms were thick with sticky cream and that wetness had penetrated to his sheets. He stared unbelievingly at the darkness of his room.
What had that dream been about? He-- and Wakyou-- had....
His face fell into his hand with a slight slap. He was sick for dreaming such a thing, even more sick for how good it had felt. His body still pulsed with reminders of that, little aftershocks of pleasure and the imagined weight of Wakyou's body on his. Had he actually screamed when he'd come? No parents or sister were checking on him, so he thought not. He hoped not.
Sakuya got out of his bed, the memory of Wakyou's scent still clinging to him and making him groan as his body indicated a twinge of renewed interest. Shaking his head, he went to take a shower.
***
Suspended in darkness, Wakyou sighed in dreams, his body completely relaxed after the violent tremors which had shook him earlier. Heavy cream was splattered across his form.
"Sakuya," he murmured.
*/epilogue/*
The wall exploded behind the two boys, twins once one looked at their features. One sheltered the other from the blast and debris, then cleared the air around them with a thought. The other lay quietly beneath his friend....
-Finis.-
Author's Notes: This story exists for two purposes: (1) as an effort to start filling the void of Tachibana fanfiction available, and (2) to explain why the HELL Sakuya was blushing when he got his memory back in book 10!! ^^ I hope you enjoyed.
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