"I marveled that other men should live, because he, whom I had loved as if he would never die, was dead. I marveled more that I, his second self, could live when he was dead. Well has someone said of his friend that he is half of his soul. For I thought that my soul and his soul were but one soul in two bodies. Therefore my life was a horror to me, because I would not live but as a half. Perhaps because of this I feared to die, lest he whom I had loved so much should wholly die."
--The Confessions of Saint Augustine, trans. John K. Ryan
Shaman, Chapter 4
by K.Stonham
released 26th September, 2004
Even had he not known, seeing the boy from a distance, Subaru thought, seeing the color of Tachibana Sakon's eyes would surely have informed him that the puppeteer was no normal human.
What was it with violet eyes...?
And why did Subaru keep encountering them when in all of the Sumeragis' records there had been only two others? One was his own ancestor Abe no Seimei, son of a kitsune. The other, also a half-youkai, had been encountered by another ancestor. The silver-haired halfling had only wished to be left alone to live as a human with his wards. But in Subaru's own life first there had been that violet-eyed shinigami, and then Kamui... and now this gifted puppeteer and the spirit he channeled through a child doll, whose eyes were also violet.
For some reason, purple eyes apparently denoted immense spiritual power.
Subaru just didn't know why he kept encountering them.
Once they were outside the theater proper, away from the eyes of others, Sumeragi Subaru spoke again to Sakon.
"You need training," the older man said without preamble.
Sakon blinked. "I'm sorry," he said solicitously, "in what?"
Two fingers on the Sumeragi's left hand folded down against his palm. "Your spiritual abilities."
Ukon folded limp, Sakon's fingers losing grasp of the puppet's controls. He gasped, turning towards the lifeless doll.
"If you don't become stronger, your friend can be taken from you," Sumeragi Subaru continued. "And there are many creatures and spirits who might hurt you and those around you."
Frantic, Sakon turned back to look at Sumeragi, and stopped. On the man's face was a look of infinite care as a fiery globe of white light incandesced above his open right hand. "He's a good friend, isn't he?" Sumeragi asked softly. His eyes met Sakon's. "You needn't be afraid that I'll take him from you. Friends are far too rare." The index finger of his left hand folded over his middle finger. The globe expanded, washing out reality with its brightness. Sakon had to shadow his eyes.
"Hey, mister, what's up with the showy theatrics?" a familiar voice asked. The words, for once, did not resonate through Sakon.
"Uk-" he started, dropping his hand. He blinked. "Rinsuke?" he breathed.
"Yo." The black-haired shade greeted him with a wave.
"You became this puppet?" Sumeragi asked.
Rinsuke shrugged and crossed his arms behind his head. "Yeah. It was what I wanted. To become a doll made by Haruka and to meet up with this guy again."
"'Again'?" Sumeragi questioned. "But this doll is rather old, isn't it?"
"Made in the second year of the Meiji era by the master dollmaker Unosuke the Third!" Rinsuke replied proudly, sounding just like Ukon. Sakon took a curious step closer.
"Meiji...?" Sumeragi repeated. "But...." His eyes sought Sakon's.
"I fell into the past," Sakon admitted.
Sumeragi's eyes widened. "And returned? That's a difficult spell."
"Spell?" Sakon asked, bewildered.
"Che." Rinsuke whistled through his teeth. "You're slow on the uptake today."
Sakon blinked.
"You're a magician," Rinsuke explained. "You've always been one."
Sakon shook his head in the negative.
"Your friend is right," Sumeragi commented. "You are a medium."
"Why do you think you can call up all those ghosts?" Rinsuke continued, merciless.
"That's only psychology," Sakon felt confident in pointing out.
"You only think it's only psychology." Rinsuke crossed his arms over his chest. "'Puppetry is the same as humanity. Ventriloquism is the same as telepathy. Mimicry is not just the tone of voice, but the voice within'... That's a spell."
"There is one other thing you might consider," Sumeragi added. Sakon and Rinsuke both turned to look at him. "You're talking with a ghost."
That, Sakon had to admit, was a strong argument.
Rinsuke studied Sakon's face for a minute, then turned back to Sumeragi. "Well, he's slow, but you've got him convinced. Can I go now?"
"Of course," the man replied politely. "Thank you for your help."
"Anytime," Rinsuke replied with just a bit of sauce in his diction. "He may be none too bright, but he's a good one."
"I believe you." The magician's left hand unfolded. Rinsuke closed his eyes and dissolved into a swirling collection of firefly lights which coalesced once more into a shining ball in Sumeragi's hand. "A tama," Sumeragi commented, tone gentle. His eyes met Sakon's. "Have you ever seen one before?" Sakon shook his head. "Now that you know what you can do, you may well see more." He flicked his wrist and the jeweled soul-sphere floated gently back to Ukon's body, a fiery tail rippling behind.
A flare of white blinded Sakon as the ball touched Ukon's chest. Immediately Ukon stirred, his inner controls coming back to life beneath Sakon's fingers.
"What should I do?" Sakon asked as Ukon straightened, a ginger hand on his ginger hair.
"So," Ukon added immediately, cheery and cheeky, "what do we have to learn, Sumeragi-sensee?"
The haunted puppet, like the medium, reminded Subaru strongly of Sorata, only in disparate ways, as though the monk's serious face was worn beneath the skin of one half of the pair and his jester's mask sported by the other.
"Discipline you don't need. I suspect meditation and martial arts would be redundant as well. What you need to learn is how to see... and how to react." Subaru smiled slightly at Ukon. "Not all spirits need exorcism. Unless harm is involved, the Sumeragi position is not to interfere. The worlds aren't clearly separated, and many spirits, such as yourself, still have a lot to offer to this one."
Ukon raised an eloquent eyebrow.
"There is a Go professional who learned his mastery of the game from the ghost of a Heian courtier," Subaru elaborated. "A demon lord runs a rather good ramen stand in Shinjuku. A customer of his is a fox spirit who is my many-times removed ancestor. Then there's the bureaucracy of the afterworld, with whom I've worked a few times. Generally we're all on the same side. Malevolent spirits are usually exceptions."
"I don't want power," Sakon said quietly.
Subaru knew all too well how that felt. "You may not want it," he answered because he had to, because there was no other truth to it, "but you have it. For anything it may be worth... those who do not seek power tend to be those who may best be trusted with it."
And maybe there was a touch of intuition operating there already, because the next question out of Ukon's mouth was "What happened to you?" and Subaru knew the doll-spirit in no way meant his life as an onmyouji.
Subaru took a breath. He needed it. Even now, history hurt.
"I was selfish once, and fell in love," Subaru said, his voice soft and his eyes on the distant corners of the hallway. Sakon waited, knowing that whatever the sorceror was about to say was important. "He was another onmyouji, a veterinarian, and a friend."
He?
Sakon felt Ukon blink and start to say something, but hushed him quickly, a hand over the puppet's mouth. He needed to hear this.
"Seishirou-san was also the Sakurazukamori." Subaru's head dipped. In profile, his eyes, the set of his mouth--he looked sad. Subaru turned to look at Sakon. "I think you wouldn't know this, but the Sakurazukamori is an onmyouji who uses magic to kill. An assassin; one who stands for everything the Sumeragi must stand against." Then he turned again to look at the far-off end of the hall. "I didn't know this until the 'one year' he bet against me was up. He tried to kill me but was stopped. My sister... she went and asked him to kill her instead. He did, and I didn't see him for nine more years, though I looked everywhere. But I couldn't find him until he wanted to be found."
Strain entered the onmyouji's voice. "He thought my deepest wish was to kill him. So he granted it. Hokuto-neechan had cast a spell when he killed her... if he tried to kill me in the same way, it would be turned back on him. He knew this. I didn't. I... didn't want to kill him. I wanted to be killed by him, so that even if he forgot about me, even if I never mattered at all to him, I'd still be near him, with the others he killed, in the sakura tree. Instead...." His voice trailed off.
The murmur of music through the closed doors was background noise to Sakon as he waited patiently. "I'd been half-blinded not too long beforehand. I'd wanted it; it matched his blind right eye. He'd gotten that in defending me. But after I killed him, someone who could see wishes fulfilled his, and gave me Seishirou-san's good eye in place of my blind one." That explained, Sakon realized, the sense he'd had that Subaru wasn't blinded in the least. "But in accepting Seishirou-san's gift, I knew I was accepting one other thing as well. I became the Sakurazukamori because, you see, the rite of succession involves killing the previous Sakurazukamori."
"You're an assassin, then." Sakon questioned.
Subaru turned to look at him again, and for one moment Sakon imagined he saw two green eyes instead of one. "No," Subaru replied. "Seishirou-san knew one thing; I was not, am not, a person who can kill.
Caveat: I probably depart from X canon in this section. However, as the manga is unfinished, the movie is unsatisfactory, and I haven't seen all of the TV series yet, I am writing my own ending. The series referenced in this section are the film Onmyouji, though Seimei's eyes being violet is my own choice, Rasen no Kakera, a wonderful manga series, the obvious Yami no Matsuei, which I wish Matsushita-sensei would return to, Hikaru no Go, and Yuu*Yuu*Hakushou.
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