The Strength of Weaknesses
By Chrislea

“What did you say?”

“It’s... nothing,” Ukon murmured with reluctance. “You gonna study with that samurai or what?”

Sakon nodded and made a soft noise in his throat. Ukon wasn’t looking in his direction. The puppet’s gaze was fixed on a larger and more impressive doll Sakon’s grandfather had left in the room for him to practice with.

“Ukon, the other puppets,” Sakon said gently, “they can’t do what you do. You’re special.”

“Yeah, whatever. Just get started already, genius.”

That night the puppet showed no sign of internal life in Sakon’s hands. He responded to the young man’s control just like any other creation of wood and string. Laughed when he was made to laugh, teased when he was made to tease, and rubbed his nose so cockily that Sakon’s aunt, who was visiting for dinner believed she was truly arguing with Ukon.

“Ukon, are you all right?” Sakon inquired gently. The doll standing beside him made no movement. He tensed his hands, pulled a string he knew was tight in the puppet’s eyebrow.

“Ooow, whadja do that for, ya punk?” Ukon demanded, swinging his head around angrily. Kaoruko laughed at his misfortune. Sakon sighed and responded to his own question.

The next morning Sakon was busy cleaning and practicing with the other students, most of them older and stronger than he, happy to laugh at his awkwardness away from puppets. He was too embarrassed to feel rejected, but he knew later, when talking with Ukon about it, he would know they did it to feel equal to him. They knew they would never match his skills in puppeteering, but at least he would never be able to carry buckets of water to and fro without tripping at least once. Still, Sakon wished it were “later” now.

“Harada, you haven’t improved since last time. You have to feel the princess’s emotions when you bend her shoulders.”

“How can I get inside the mind of a woman?” Sakon’s doomed classmate lamented. “That’s why my last three girlfriends left me!”

“Sakon, it’s your turn.”

Sakon picked up the puppet his classmate had left in the center of the room. He would probably never head such minor roles when he was a fully trained professional, but it was impossible to skip this part of training. As he dipped the puppet into a position of mourning, he tried to imagine how she felt, alone and afraid. Somehow it wasn’t very difficult.

His room had to be cleaned, so there wasn’t time to talk with Ukon that afternoon. Several boxes fell dangerously close to the puppet’s stand and Sakon eventually decided to move his friend into another room.

“Mother, is it all right if I leave Ukon in here for a little while?”

“Of course, there are puppets everywhere else in the house, after all,” his mother laughed gently. A look of concern covered her face. ‘Sakon, I heard loud noises in your room. Are you sure you can handle cleaning alone? Should I ask someone to help you?”

“Er, no, that’s okay,” Sakon sputtered. He was suddenly more aware than before of a box-shaped bruise on his back, and he hoped his newly-acquired limp wasn’t obvious. With a nervous laugh he set Ukon’s stand on a table and turned to leave. A small hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. Sakon glanced behind him to see Ukon’s arm outstretched, wooden fingers buried in his sleeve.

“Sakon? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. It’s just that Ukon’s fingers got caught in my shirt somehow,” Sakon assured his mother. He pried the little hand off of his sleeve. “I must not have been carrying him very carefully, that’s all.”

He returned to his room uneasily and finished cleaning his room with little mishap.

“Hey, long time no see, old pal!” Ukon greeted his puppeteer cheerily. “You’re looking a little worn out. Cleaning duty again?”

“Yes, almost all day,” Sakon nodded. The bruise on his back was sore and he had a feeling it would be for the rest of the week. At least Ukon seemed to be his normal self again. An elbow controlled by invisible hands jabbed Sakon in the ribs as Ukon teased him just as mercilessly as his classmates had the day before.

“You’re useless without me, buddy. You should sit by and let me carry stuff around!”

“I don’t think Grandfather would allow a puppet to mop and scrub floors.”

“Your loss. I’m a lot stronger than I look, you know,” Ukon bragged, puffing out his chest.

“How strong are you?” Sakon asked, settling into their familiar conversational pattern of slightly abusive, impromptu comedy.

“Well, I’m not too strong,” Ukon admitted, now doubled over like an old man. “I can’t even hold onto one little human, and a scrawny one at that! Uh- I mean… um.”

“Hold onto? Then you did grab my wrist yesterday!”

“Well, yeah, kinda,” Ukon grinned sheepishly. “I uh, thought you had on a watch and I wanted to know what time it was.”

“Ukon, I don’t wear watches on my right hand.”

“Oh, it was your right hand?”

“Why did you do that? I didn’t even know you could do that.”

Ukon glanced away, looking for something to take interest in. He saw nothing, so he stared at the ground below the porch steps.

“Ukon.”

“When your hands reached out for me I thought I would get to apologize for yesterday morning,” Ukon said. “And when it turned out you were just dumping me on your mother, it made me feel sad. I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t have a voice. I wanted you to give me a voice so I could talk to you.”

“You have a voice now,” Sakon reminded him gently. “What has been bothering you?”

“I don’t…”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t like it when you use other puppets!” Ukon shouted. The loudness of his voice startled Sakon, and he almost lost his grip of the surprisingly frail body controlling his fingers and throat. “I don’t like sitting on a shelf or in a box somewhere and listening to you making other puppets talk, making other puppets dance, while I’m all alone.”

“Ukon, I’m sorry - but those puppets aren’t special to me the way you are,” Sakon promised. “They’re not my friends.”

“I don’t want to share,” Ukon pouted, frowning deeply.

“You like Kaoruko-neesan and Shiho-“

“They’re humans, it’s different. You need to be with more humans, and I want to be around them with you. But when you’re controlling other puppets, I can’t be a part of it. And I want to laugh at you when you drop a bucket of water or trip over a rock.”

“I’m touched.”

“I don’t mean I want to harass you more, baka.” Ukon thumped Sakon’s forehead. “I’m jealous of the time you spend with other puppets and I’m jealous of your human friends for the you I never get to see.”

Sakon blinked. “The me you never get to see?”

“The clumsy Sakon, the awkward Sakon that everybody thinks is so cute all the time,” Ukon clarified. “I get Crime-solver Sakon, Calm Sakon, and Quiet Sakon. I don’t get to see my entire left half.”

“I see. But I don’t get to see my entire right half, either,” Sakon pointed out softly.

“What do you mean?”

“The Ukon that’s serious. The Ukon that reaches out for my hand because he is lonely. I guess you think he is weak, but I want to see him as much as you want to see the weak Sakon.”

Ukon’s eyes shifted. “I don’t want to feel that way when you’re around. I want to be happy.”

“And I don’t want to feel out of control when I’m with you. I feel more comfortable with myself when you’re with me.”

“That’s because you’re with me,” Ukon smirked. His expression became serious again. “If I show you some more of my weaknesses, will you show me more of yours?”

“That would make me very uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I figured-“

“But if it’s for Ukon, then I will try.” Ukon raised his eyebrows. Sakon nodded. “I will try very hard. And I wouldn’t do that for any puppet but Ukon.”

“O-okay, then I’ll try, too,” Ukon asserted. “I’ll show you one thing I’ve wanted to do for a long time, as best I can.”

With that Ukon turned around and lunged toward Sakon, wrapping his arms around the puppeteer’s neck tightly. The action pulled the support bar out of Sakon’s grasp and he found himself holding a lifeless – no, a silent Ukon. Sakon pulled his hand free of the puppet’s body and stroked its hair.

“I think I understand what you mean, Ukon,” Sakon whispered. “You don’t have to speak to tell me everything.”

Two words formed on Sakon’s lips.

“Ne, Sakon, what are you and Ukon doing out here?” A familiar plaid skirt appeared in front of Sakon’s line of vision.

“What’s it to you, old maid?” Ukon sneered, rubbing his nose to cover a smile. Kaoruko frowned.

“Nothing much, Kaoruko-neesan,” Sakon said politely. “Just enjoying a quiet morning…”

-owari-

NOTES – My first Ayatsuri Sakon fanfic! ^-^ I hope that it was shounen ai enough for those of you who enjoy it and non-shounen ai enough for those of you who don’t. In live performances you don’t always get to change the scenery to change the scenery, so to speak, so I wanted the story to flow in that way here, too. It’s a little challenging to establish the passage of time when you’re writing like that. ^^; Please let me know what you thought. ^^

DISCLAIMER – Karakurizoushi Ayatsuri Sakon and its characters belong to Marou Sharaku and Takeshi Obata, as well as WOWOW and Jump. I’m just a fan of the series and this fanfic exists solely for entertainment purposes and promotion of my favorite manga.