Tokyo Babylon: Song Part 8: Another Night The car's wheels spun as the engine hummed quietly. The wind rushing past the car was muted. Midori finally grew sick of the silence. "Can you get a tape for me?" she asked Sumeragi softly. "The cassette box is under your seat. The one I want is labeled 'Solitude.'" The dark-haired young man silently reached under his seat and spent a moment rifling through the box before handing the correct tape to her. With almost a physical sigh of relief Midori slipped it into the player. The soft waves and quiet piano music washed over her, relaxing Midori, working the tensions out of her body. She hadn't realized she was this tight. She risked a momentary glance at Sumeragi, and saw that the music had no effect on him. Lonliness suddenly washed over Midori as well, a physical aching that quietly tore through her heart. She followed his minimal directions quietly, until they were at the front of a large Tokyo hotel. "Here?" she asked. "Here," he replied. "Nice hotel," she commented quietly, genuinely impressed. "... See you around, I guess." "Yeah." Sumeragi moved to get out of the car, then hesitated, looking at her. "Do you have somewhere to stay?" "I'll find someplace," she replied, lying for the first time in a long, long time. She knew she would spend the night in her car, listening to music that would tear through her. Feeling anything right now would be preferable to the silence and her own thoughts. Sumeragi nodded and exited the car, walking towards the front door of the hotel. Midori sat for a second, thinking of where to go. Sumeragi stopped and looked back at her, then turned around and walked back. "Would you like to stay here?" he asked. Midori looked up at him, surprised that he'd made the offer. As she looked into his stormy green eyes, she found herself remembering the stolen kiss. It _had_ only been to confirm a suspicion, but... it had become something more than that. "I... don't think it would be a good idea if I stayed with you tonight," she said quietly. "Why not?" "Because it will be dangerous for both of us if that happens." Sumeragi's eyes looked at her. Midori suddenly wondered if he was looking _into_ her, but doubted it. No one could look into her and see beyond the thousand gates and illusions and guards she had set up to protect herself. "It won't come to that," he said quietly. "Yes, it will." Midori knew with a hundred percent certainty that if she stayed with him tonight something would happen between the two of them. But she really didn't want to be alone tonight, even if it meant accepting an illusion of love into her life. It was only another illusion.... "Stay here," Sumeragi invited one more time, and Midori knew that this was the last time the offer would be extended to her. she thought to herself. She could feel tears burning at the back of her eyes, and her stomach had dropped hollowly out of her body. She had never been this frightened of the future in her life. Quietly, Midori nodded and slipped out of the vehicle, handing her keys to the waiting valet. The car roared softly as he drove it into the underground parking garage. "Why are you doing this?" Sumeragi asked her. "Because it's the only thing I can do," she answered honestly. Subaru closed the door to his suite behind him, watching Toyuuki as she looked around the room. He wasn't as adept at sensing people as he used to be, but he could feel that something was wrong with her, growing worse by the second, and it was nothing he could help to fix. "Why don't you just cry?" he asked her. "It can only help, to release it...." "I can't," she told him, not turning to look at him. "I don't cry. I must never cry. I must never get involved...." There was a slight catch in her voice, an undercurrent of emotion that set a lie to her words. "Would you like something to eat?" Subaru asked unsurely. Toyuuki looked out a window. "No, thank you," she replied. "Have you ever thought about the sun?" Her fingers traced absent patterns on the glass. "Not especially," Subaru replied, moving to stand behind her. "Why?" "It's a burning sphere of raw elements... all alone out in space. It's the source of all life for all of us, and yet it has no friends, because no one can get close enough to it. It won't let them, by its very nature." Subaru wondered if she was talking about him or herself. "I wonder if it ever gets tired of being alone. I wonder if it sees all the people here, and would like to meet them, but can't, because it can't get close enough to say 'hello.'" "You don't have to be alone," Subaru told her softly, hesitant to touch her. "I know. That's why I'm here with you." She turned to face Subaru. "I shouldn't be, but I am." "Can we spend one night without him?" Subaru asked. "Can either of us go that long without thinking of him?" He referred to Sakurazukamori, and they both knew it. "I can," she answered. "You can't. That's why I shouldn't be here with you." "I'm sorry," Subaru apologized softly. "You can't help it." Midori touched her lips to those of her brother's lover. He must have been such a beautiful child, she thought. A beautiful boy.... Her brother had a taste for bishounen. She'd seen it while reading his thoughts. It was learned from their mother. But Seishirou-niisama had blocked that so firmly from his mind that he didn't believe it had happened. Yet he had the instincts developed from it... as did Midori to some degree. The difference was that she had chosen never to act on them. Sumeragi was a nice guy. Midori had spent most of her life wishing to find someone like him, and now that she had found him, it was going to be too late. She would undo the damage done to him, and sooner or later, she would die. A hand hesitantly touched her, gliding up and down her side. It was gentle, feather-light. A tear nearly broke from her eye, but she restricted it and held it in. In return, she touched Sumeragi, fingers trailing down his back to his waist, then back up. Warmth slowly spilled through her body, but it only made her feel colder in her heart. They broke the kiss, and Midori leaned her head against his chest, feeling his warmth, hearing his heartbeat. "If I cry... forgive me," she whispered. "I'm broken inside, and the only heart I cannot heal is my own. I'm very afraid." "Afraid of what?" he asked softly, holding her against him. "Everything," she answered. "But I can't tell you. Just know that I'm not crying because of you." "I believe you." Sumeragi paused, and then his hand ran softly over her hair. "You're not lying. I know." Midori kissed him again, just for being a sweetly innocent person who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and had gotten marked for life because of it. Subaru felt Toyuuki-san's... no, Midori-san's... hands tugging his shirt out of the waistband of his jeans. She slipped her hands against his bare skin at the back of his waist. He was almost afraid to touch her; he didn't know what to do with a woman's body. Seishirou-san had been his only partner, sexually. It was easier to know what to do with another man, where to touch, even if Subaru had been infinitely innocent in the ways of sex when Sakurazukamori had first introduced it to him. "I don't know where to touch you," he murmured. "I don't want to make you cry...." "You're more shy than you appear," Midori murmured, the tears and unhappiness in her voice more subdued now. "Did my brother teach you nothing?" "I don't know if I even can...." "You can," Midori assured him. Her hands snaked around his waist to unfasten the buttons of her blouse. She took one of his hands and held it against her left breast. Subaru felt her heartbeat, the gentle rise and fall of her chest. The soft fabric of her bra was silky to Subaru's touch. "You don't have the 'feel' that someone who is strongly one way or the other does." Subaru shifted his hand on her breast, lightly touching. "I've never been with a woman before..." he confessed quietly. "Only with... him...." "Then we'll simply have to learn of each other," she replied. ********* Bishounen: "beautiful boy," generally an anime/manga youth who has feminine looks. Object of lust among otaku females (and some males). Subaru used to very much fit that description. Now he has graduated to "biseinen," which is something more along the lines of "beautiful person." Still an object of lust, due to sheer physical attractiveness....