Boyband Rants:
April 2001 Archive
1st April 2001 - Peri Vista (Of Views)
Hmm. 'K, I shamelessly admit to being more of a Backstreet fan than an *N Syncophant. And O-Town and NKOTB are in there too, and, I suspect, Westlife at some point if I let 'em. That said, I really like Chris and Joey, think JC is sweet and very creative (despite so many fans ragging on his fashion sense), and that Lance has a good head on his shoulders. Justin... well, the jury's out on Juju until further notice. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if his blond ebonics grate on my English-major nerves. As to O-Town, Erik-Michael and Trevor are sweethearts, Dan seems to have his feet on the ground, and I very much appreciate Ashley and Jacob's creative musical skills. For Backstreet, Kevin has a raw strength I admire; Brian is managing the rare feat of making me like someone for their faith rather than in spite of it; AJ seems to have an innate spirituality and romanticism that belie his wild image; Sweet D is just that, sweet an' sensible; and Kaos Carter attracts far too much of my attention with his text. The man's four years younger than me and has just as much (if not more) writing talent.
That said, admirable things listed, I don't understand why people rag on their idols (I refuse to admit them to being my idols; it dehumanizes them--rather I view them as people I admire) the way they do. Cases in point: the fans being against them having relationships. It cheers me to see that the Kentucky cousins are both married, that they do not live their lives according to popular demand. I wish them nothing but the best; Brian's love for Leighanne is so sweet it's rare (being loved in a similar manner myself, I know precisely what that kind of affection is worth: it is beyond price), and Kevin's determination to be even half of the man his father was, to be a good husband to Kristin, is similarly elusive and valuable. So I don't understand why their fans rag on the BSB for embodying admirable values and taking them to their fulfillment. Surely they didn't think they were going to be the one?
Diverge into statistics: I have the same chance as anyone else to meet those I admire. However, that chance is infinitesimal. Never play the lottery of human dreams; it comes at too high of a cost.
AJ is known to be in a committed relationship. Howie's current riff, so far as I've heard, is that he's too busy to be in a steady relationship. And Nick is keeping things fairly quiet. There's apparently a big faction on the 'Net against one of his exes, Willa Ford, on the basis that she allegedly abused Nick. Me, I'm curious to know how a guy who's 6'2" and has to have a pretty good physique considering his line of work (more on that later) could be a victim of domestic abuse, but it could happen. It all depends on who Nick is. Aside from my opinion that life in the limelight in a sexually repressed culture like ours must royally suck, I just hope that Nick's okay, that if the rumors are true he's past it and stronger now. They say that no one can abuse you unless you let them; there is, however, a vast gulf between theory and practice: practice hurts a lot more. The reason I avoid psych classes. Anyhow, I don't find it worthwhile to hate Willa. Unless it's true and Nick takes that up as his personal crusade, championing against domestic abuse or some such, it's none of my business. It's his life and his choice. (Mind you, if it's ever confirmed in stone, my feelings towards his abuser will be a mix of anger, sorrow, and pity.)
Oh--the weight thing. I know a lot of people've riffed on Nick gaining weight between Millenium and Black and Blue, but he has stated in interviews that the long down time (what was it, a year and a half?) gave him time to become depressed to the point where he did become a bit overweight. It's understandable: his career has been keeping him on the move for the better part of a decade; that was probably the first long break he's had. It's a drastic change in lifestyle. It doesn't help that he's both tall and large-boned; weight will always show poorly on him, perhaps the most so out of the BSB. And the monochromatic filming of the "Shape of My Heart" video did not help things any. [rolls eyes] Anyhow, he's lost the excess now, so what are people still concerned about? Until it's made a problem, don't make one out of it. Though I have read a few very good stories dealing with the theme of Nick's weight. Very... daring... and angstful, the writers who can do that subject. I particularly recommend Beneath It All.
On other boybands and their S.O.s... Chris of *N Sync remains friends and business partners with ex-G.F. Dani. Good for them. Don't know the circumstances of their break-up, but apparently it was amicable. JC reputedly has Bobbi, and then there's Justin-and-Britney. A snide remark runs through my head about the reason she didn't show up at the Grammys being something to do with Justin's shaving his head, but that's just that, a petty, snide remark. It's not my life, it's not my concern. The best I can do is imagine how stressful and challenging such a relationship must be. Should I ever get to meet any of the pop stars' girlfriends (or boyfriends, if any of them go that way) I would be very interested in learning how they deal with the hateful fans, the stress of such a public relationship, etcetera. It must be hard. It must take a lot of courage or a lot of love, because I hope none of today's idols are blinded enough by their assumed stature to fall for someone who'd just be using them for their fame. That seems partially a very real risk, partially a very sad risk, and partially a very painful risk. End of rant.
2nd April 2001 - The Boldness to Disagree
Yo, it's me again. Stop that groaning! Who else were ya expectin', reading this page? :)
The reason I write this page is because if I leave all these things I think in my head without committing them to text, concretizing them, they fester like an infection and drive me slow steps closer towards insanity. I jest not. I have to write things down. I start losing it otherwise. And now, having read that, my kareshi starts worrying about me. Na, Kazu-kun, I'm alright. Really. Don't worry about me so much. All writers are a little crazy, I think. It's the way we run. Our muses demand madness of us in price for our ecstasy.
Got a quick little boybands fix earlier yesterday--BSB was helping to host Rick Dees' Weekly Top Forty Countdown. I suppose on some level this interest of mine worries me, but on some level also I know it's okay. Everyone needs something to play as a game, to make a love and a need. We all need a little addiction. So long as we can step back and realize that's what it is, and control it. I will buy BSB singles and hunt for the back issues of Rolling Stone with them on the covers, but I will not buy miscellanea. I bought a Nick Carter 2001 calendar 'coz it was $.99--the same price I paid for the BSB and *N Sync calendars currently on my wall. I wouldn't've bought it if it had cost more. I didn't buy the packs of photo cards for $.99 each. I am in control, I can ride the tiger. I will not let it devour me. I will keep myself in it for the music, not for the cute (unavailable, unreachable) guys. To do less degrades me, degrades my boyfriend, degrades the humanity of those I admire.
Mind you, I'm listening to The Cure [Shadows and Lies soundtrack] as I write this. Situational irony?
I run scenarios through my head. What would I ever do if I got to meet them? 'Course, it all depends on the situation. A Meet 'N' Greet is one thing, a party (oh, like I go to parties...) is another, a business meeting yet another. I try to tell myself that I wouldn't become just another fan, that I would be able to take a deep breath, smile, and make a sarcastic remark about the part of my brain that would be shrieking in fannish ecstasy. Maybe that's why I run the scenarios through--so that I would be able to do that, so that taking the role would be easy. Because I really would like to have a rational-person conversation with 'em, talk to them as a human being and a fellow creator. They're not gods; they're people. I've analyzed lyrics the same way I analyze stories for English papers; I would like to know if what I've read into the lyrics was intended. I'd like to ask what their lives are like; heck, I'd like to read a book (or maybe be able to write one) about what their lives are really like. There's so much a fan doesn't know about how the life (lives) of a boy band actually goes. It could be interesting.
Mind you, this is all speculation. I'll probably never meet them the same way my mother has never met Paul McCartney.
Anyhow, to the topic. I'm discovering that for me there is a certain bravery involved in not agreeing with others. Call me a sheep. Not that I'm essentially a timid person; I do have alpha personality in some regards. But when it comes to mass mentality, it's easier not to stand out, to agree with another person's (a teacher's, too) opinion on something. It's a lot harder to find your own critique on something and stand firm. I'm slowly learning how to do the latter.
I also found another boybands fix today in The New University, my favorite of the student papers available at UCI. Now I know for dead certain that someone on the staff has a thing for *N Sync, 'coz the shots for UCInquiry (this week's question: "What was your favorite part of the New U. Vegas vacation?", relating to the New U.'s editorial staff's Spring Break activities) are replaced as an April Fool's joke with the *N Syncers and (I think) Miss Spears. The associated quotes are... interesting... when paired with the pictures. ^^;;;;;; Shaya Mohajer (Justin pic): "Stumbling home drunk singing Duran Duran at the top of our lungs. Plus Shannon wasn't there." Ava Santos (Joey pic): "The strippers and the volcanoes." Saagar Raju (Chris pic): "Losing my money." Dave McClusky (Britney pic): "Ordering porn in the hotel on Melinda's credit card." Shannon Bulleri (Lance pic): "Touching the male stripper's ass during my lap dance." Angela Brevidoro (J.C. fashion victim pic): "The naked man who gyrated his genitals and called me his bitch." I almost wonder if there's any chance these people share my reading tastes, matching those pics with those quotes!
Today I also received the "For the Fans" CDs and video BSB did in conjunction with Burger King. Whee, live tracks! And hidden Krystal tracks! But what's this I hear on the radio about BSB having two August dates in L.A. and the tickets going on sale this Sunday at noon? [checks ticketmaster.com] Hmm. [checks BSB website, follows link to sfx.com] o/~ "It's true... I mean it..." Demmit, why do I work Sundays? Ah well. That's what mothers and credit cards are for, no? Now I just have to decide which to go to... or both?
6th April 2001 - Sing to Me
From book 3 of Plato's The Republic: "...musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, because rhythm and harmony find their way into the inward places of the soul, on which they mightily fasten, imparting grace..." Now, mind you, I generally find Plato annoying and a prick (the Pat Buchanan of the ancient world, to paraphrase Kai) because I am a creative person and he distrusts and disrespects poets and poetry. But it's still a lovely quote.
I finally got around to one of the filks I've been intending. *N Sync's "This I Promise You" has now got its very own Shadows and Lies remix filk, based on a story I got to write several years ago with a very talented co-writer. Now I just have to get around to filking BSB's "The Call." Hmm, otherwise not much to report boybands-wise. I'm still deciding on which LA concert to go to (probably the Forum) and going headfirst into my first weeks of spring quarter. Oh, excepting that I now have both Krystal's promo single and BSB's Sears exclusive CD-Rom! Whee, "I Want It That Way" video... I'm starting to wonder if they have any music vids which weren't filmed in LA. :)
Theory on confluences and conspiracies. Jonathan-Jordan-Joe-Danny-Donnie. Chris-Joey-Josh(JC)-James(Lance)-Justin. Kevin-Howie-Brian-Alex(AJ)-Nick. Dan-Trevor-Jacob-Ashley-Erik-Michael. A predomination of "J" names, including two "Joseph"s. Not to mention two Dans. Plus there's BSB's Nick and *N Sync's Justin and Nick and Justin of 98 Degrees, and (though Dream isn't a boy band) a cute blond Californian Ashley in both Dream and O-Town. Kevin and J.C. share a middle name (Scott) while BSB's Nick and *N Sync's Joey share a birthday (January 29th... must've been a trip for both of them to perform at the Super Bowl on their birthday). Granted, this is all coincidence, but if I were a Lone Gunman, I'd no doubt have a theory. ("I think Agent Scully would look lovely in a gown of this color.")
Not much else. Mata na.
16th April 2001 - Intangible Idols
I had the oddest moment the other day--a moment where the boybands and my obsession/interest with/in them just did not matter. Quite odd. Led me back to wondering why obsessions die. Natalie postulated that maybe it's because we outgrow the need for them and what they fulfill in us. Interesting theory, seems viable.
(Fear not, I'm not abandoning anything yet, much less dropping this page.)
Received BSB's second European album. I really need to get a CD player for my car so I can listen to it while going to school. I also had a bad dream about a week ago--Nick and Chelsea (I don't know WHO Chelsea was, save that she was a friend of Nick's and had reddish-brown curly hair... a little bit like Chelsea Clinton, but I think it wasn't her) were scuba diving off the beach at Kevin's place when they were attacked by great white sharks. Blood on the water. And I had to watch Kevin, his face pale and drawn, make a statement about it on TV. It disturbed me on many levels, not the least of which was the fact that I'd never get to thank Nick for his music. And I like sharks! They're so beautiful, such consummately graceful creatures. Of hundreds of shark species, only a handful (mako, blues, great whites and two others, I believe) are man-eaters. And it's very rare that they do so. You stand a better chance of getting hit by lightning than of getting attacked by a shark. Do great whites even cruise Florida? I know Kev lives in LA now, but the house and beach seemed to be set somewhere in Florida.
Hmm, what else. Chocolat poster replaced my O-Town poster some time ago, and has just now been replaced by an inspirational sayings poster. "Never insult a crocodile until you've crossed the river." I should be receiving BSB's "Got Milk?" poster soon. And I had a whole day off for Easter so I planted a half-dozen rosebushes and washed my car. Look, ma, I'm domestic! I pulled a B average last term and am trying for all A's for this term. Went to a friend's wedding on Friday. It was a little odd that someone I went to high school with was now becoming a "Mrs.", but Wendy was a very beautiful bride.
On the line of Juliette Binoche, go see The Widow of Saint Pierre. Very good film, hard to guess where it's going.
I have a ticket to *N Sync's Rose Bowl concert this June, and shall be receiving one shortly for BSB's August 16th concert at the Forum. I wish I could attend their August 18th concert out at Glen Helen Parkway, but I can't in good conscience purchase another ticket. Not going to be able to take my boyfriend to see O-Town on July 7th or whatever. The concert directly conflicts with the AMV contest at AX. :/ Ah well.
Watched the first episode of season 2 of "Making The Band." I find it amusing that first thing off they're doing spin control of the Miss America Pageant debacle. I feel for Erik-Michael, the situation with his father and all. The new music video was nice (I admit, I voted for "Love Should Be A Crime" for their new single)... was it just me or was Ashley trying for a certain look? A little bit of Jon Bon Jovi (Crush album), almost. Certainly not a bad look for him.
Anyhow, I think that's all the ideas in my head for now. Dewa mata ne!
22nd April 2001 - Mozart
(Actually, my favorite classical composer is Ravel, but he's a bit less well-known than Mozart. And, yes, I am procrastinating on that Hamlet essay, why do you ask? :)
Each depression seems to drive me further into the pop music wedge. Listening to NKOTB as a cure to a long day at work. My feet are going to be very sore walking around campus tomorrow. I do not look forward to the pain. So let's see. Listened to Krystal's interview on KIIS FM the other night. Was cool-ish. And she's going to be at Wango Tango (as are many other very noteworthy pop artists). Pity the ticket price is a bit too rich for my blood. Got my tix for *N Sync in July and BSB in August, tho.
Tell me that education is based upon caring teachers challenging the minds of their students and I will politely disagree with you. Writing essays is easy for me; theorizing upon the play-within-a-play in Hamlet is like shooting fish in a barrel. Thus, I do not feel that I earn the better grades I get. Why should I get good grades for work which does not challenge me? But it's not fair to demand too much personal time from a teacher, or to have the other students held to the same standard which would have to be applied to me. Maybe I should go for a master's and doctorate after all (use this skill where it would be worthwhile or something). But I'm not sure I want to spend the rest of my life in school. Ah well. Whatcha gonna do about it.
And I still hold that *N Sync's combination of voices is the sweetest thing I've heard since Joey McIntyre hit puberty. McIntyre's new CD is getting good reviews already, and the song I've heard from it ("Rain") is pretty nice. Waiting on that and other CDs. Meantime, starting to fill in backlog gaps from half.com. Anyhow, back to the essay. Laters.
25th April 2001 - Of Popcorn and Peanuts
(Sometimes I wonder where my mind comes up with my rant titles.) I'm reading Ryu Murakami's Coin Locker Babies for one of my classes and am not being too disturbed by it. It disturbs me that it doesn't disturb me. I know that some of it is due to my other reading habits (slash is intrinsically angstful), and some maybe due to being too busy to be disturbed (agh, have to rewrite a five-page essay tomorrow as well as write from scratch a three page essay), but why doesn't it hurt my brain? Mishima's writing hurt, though, so maybe I'm not entirely gone.
In other news. Caught about five minutes of Krystal's Lycos chat the other evening before my connect flaked on me. Didn't manage to get back into the channel until after it was all over. ;_; Kanashii desu. But I got a package from my kareshi yesterday... waah, new Pocket Dragon! And a HRC London beanie! And a letter and a shirt and BSB's European debut CD. Though it's not the release which has the song ("Missing You") my friend Maria wants to hear. Grr, drat varying releases! Oh, today I received The Atomic Fireballs' album in the mail. Kick ass neo swing. And my Shakespearean Anthropology class (source of the five page essay rewrite) is moving on from Hamlet to King Lear. Huzzah! I love Lear!
I'm trying to think of what I want to do after I finish school. I suppose going on to a Master's and then a Doctorate is a good idea (especially for an English/Japanese major... how're those for useless in getting a good job?) but I am not sure if I want to go down that path. I want to write, but without someone to encourage me, I'm not sure I can. No self-motivation. Ahh, sigh, the indecision of youth. Don't worry, it'll all work out somehow. It always does. How? That's the mystery. :) Whee, feeling better having ranted out my troubles onto my page. "Confessions of a twentysomething college student." Rape, pillage, plunder, and burn. Never forget, burn comes last! Viking blood rising to the surface. And me realizing that I'm losing coherency and had best seek the somnitude of my bed.
Kristin, signing off for the evening.