Written: October 27, 2005
Released: 29 October 2005, rev. 0
Category: Drama.
Summary: Kenshin and Hiko enjoyed the deshi’s early teen years as much as any other father and son.
Kenshin wonders about his shishou’s ability to reason. Third in the Adoptiion series.
Disclaimer: The characters and story of Rurouni Kenshin are the property of Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shonen Jump, et al. Used without permission. This work is for entertainment only, and no profit is intended

Adoption III. This Is Swordsmanship?

OK, I can believe the cooking and the mending and the calligraphy. I mean, even swordsmasters have to eat and keep clothes on their backs and at least read and write orders or directions or something. Alright, I actually like reading, but you can only read the Hagakure so many times and the Book of Five Rings can be really confusing. And I guess knowing the different kinds of fabric and sewing methods is good for making sure you get what you pay for.

But ikebana? Shakuhachi? Kagaku?

Every time I ask shishou about it I get the same thing: “how do you expect to protect life if you don’t even know what’s worthwhile about it?”

What, breathing isn’t good enough? Seems pretty worthwhile to me.

But no, not good enough for Hiko Seijuro XIII.

“No deshi of mine, baka or not, is going to be let loose on this world with the manners of a gaijin sailor and the cultured presence and social sensitivity of a Mongol horse raider with hemorrhoids.”

Well, that was a refined observation, shishou. Since I pretty much expect to be dealing with thugs, bandits, murderers, petty tyrants and the occasional bodyguard/assassin—a whole collection of your basic unmannerly, uncultured, insensitive snots—I’d think a good strong swing and a sharp edge would about cover the social needs. Unless I’m supposed to get them so tangled up trying to compose the last lines of a waka, or so distracted arguing which is Bassho’s best poem, that they don’t notice the katana flying around?

The shakuhachi’s OK, I guess—I do enjoy just sort of noodling around and getting wrapped up in the music, and I suppose you have to do something after training. And as far as ikebana goes, what’s not to like about flowers, or any plant, for that matter? Of course, I think they are best where they grow, and I don’t see just whipping out a flower dish, an iris, a couple stones and a cherry twig in the middle of, say, a duel, and shouting “Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu! Iris Reposing on Rocks,” but shishou doesn’t see it that way.

“Ikebana is excellent training for the eye. It will help you see the simplest line in any construct or pattern.”

Is that like the shortest slash line across somebody’s chest, shishou?

I suppose it could be worse: he hasn’t made me do tea ceremony or ceremonial dances or any of those things.

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It is worse. I have to read the Tale of Genji (which is actually kind of cool) and he wants me to go through and rewrite every single one of the loveletters in the book.

Loveletters. Loveletters?! Now I’m going to charm my opponents to death? Or maybe make them die of jealousy by writing to their lovers?

And he calls me baka deshi. Hah! If I’m a baka, he’s passed it on: I inherited it from my shishou who wants to arm me with irises, waka, lavender paper, and mochi.

This is swordsmanship?

Owari

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Author’s note:

Poor Hiko--he got to enjoy Kenshin’s “13- and 14-year-old going on 38” phase. I got to thinking about what Hiko might have set as Kenshin’s curriculum, and figured that he might very well be both accomplished and perverse enough to have decided on the recognized samurai training, which would be physically rigorous and include several of the arts. Throw in Kenshin having a severe fit of pre-Rurouni cluelessness, and voila! Adoption III.

Glossary
Gaijin Foreigner
Hagakure Compilation of codes of conduct for samurai
Haiku Three-line poem, structured in lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.
Ikebana Japanese flower-arranging art
Kagaku Poetry
Lavender paper During the Heian era, this was traditionally used for love notes. I’ve assumed Kenshin has gotten far enough in the Tales of Genji to learn about this custom.
Shakuhachi Wooden Japanese flute, which I seem to recall uses a pentatonic scale
Waka Seven-line poem, with lines of 5, 7, 5, 7 and 7 syllables.