Always Believed in You
Recorded with different lyrics by the Arc Angels. This is Tonio's own version.
Appears only on the unofficial bootleg cassette of ¡Olé! Not included on the Gadfly release.
Half a Man
Some, but not all, of the ¡Olé! bootlegs also contain this song. Tonio wrote it, but the vocal was done by someone else.
Recorded during the ¡Olé! sessions, but left off the album.
Theme song for Tonio's Austin band of the same name. The full-length version was released on Yugoslavia. But a shortened version appears in the Oscar-winning short film Session Man.
Not many people write songs about their own names. This was done as an encore on the Foodchain tour. Think slow, tortured urban blues with the wailing guitar of Earl Slick. The lyrics refer to Tonio's habit of reading philosophical and religious tomes and violently discarding those he disagreed with.
Two Steps Back
Written around the time the ¡Olé! album was recorded.
Bride of the Biker
Written and recorded for the never-released Too Cool to Be a Christian album.
Dedicated to the One I Love
In case you're wondering, why yes, it is the sappy old '50s standard. Tonio's cover—a highlight of his concerts in the early '80s—was intentionally ironic and undeniably hysterical.
F*** the Whales
Yes, Virginia, the title has been censored. Kelly Cash heard about this ecological ditty from Steve Simels, the Stereo Review critic who called Life in the Foodchain "the greatest album ever" and changed his mind when Amerika was released. Apparently, even Steve hasn't heard the song, so what hope is there for the rest of us?
One, Two, Three
You may have heard the music to this without realizing it. It's an earlier version of "Living Doll" with completely different lyrics.
Russia Doesn't Care About Your Momma
RHAD, another K. fan, alleges that this song—along with "Everything (Including You) Disgusts Me"—was to be included on a Tonio K. album that was never released, and furthermore that "Funky Western Civilization—Phase II" (see above) was to be the title track of said album. I cannot confirm these allegations; I haven't heard this song (although I've heard the other two), and I don't know if the lost album ever had a working title other than Too Cool to Be a Christian.
So Much for Love
If Tonio was never really a misogynist, he sure fooled a lot of people with songs like this.
Tonio dreamed up this masterpiece along with Peter Case. On slips of paper, they wrote down key words and phrases from a number of Top 40 songs. Then they combined all the slips in an effort to create the essential Top 40 lyric. Tonio remembers only the first four lines: "That's the trouble with diamonds/They set your sex on fire/Only the wandering minstrels of fortune/Have broken the code of desire," but of course that's more than enough.
The Tuff Do What?
Appears only in the film Real Genius. Never released on an album.
Enemy (Viva la Revolución)
Charlie Sexton has performed this in concert, but as far as I know, neither he nor Tonio (nor anyone else) has recorded it.
Know of a song that should be added to this page? E-mail me about it.