Disclaimer: The show Star Trek Voyager and all the associated characters belong to Paramount. That's why they never get to do this kind of thing on screen. Luckily, they have me to fill in the days that are never shown. Paramount can try to sue me, I guess, but I do really, really good Bambi eyes, so I'm pretty sure the jury would back me up. Especially if the jury is made up of JetCers.
Chakotay grinned as her surveyed the bridge. This was actually going much better then he had thought it would. There was not a person here who hadn't complied with the "suggestion" that had been distributed over "A Briefing with Neelix." Including, to his surprise, Tuvok.
"Good morning, Lieutenant," he said, walking over to the command chair. Tuvok stood at his approach and nodded his greetings. Chakotay settled in, and looked at the console. "Anything to report?"
Tuvok, to his credit, continued as if nothing unusual were going on. "This past shift was uneventful."
Tom Paris, at helm, laughed. "And he is thanking his Vulcan stars for that."
Tuvok sighed, a bare release of breath that went unnoticed by everyone on the bridge except Chakotay. Chakotay shot a mock glare at Tom. "Mr. Paris."
Tom turned in his seat, grinning back at them. "I was just stating the obvious, Commander. Today's events are, to quote Mr. Tuvok, illogical. Can you imagine if he had to make first contact without any warning?"
This time, the shudder that ran through Tuvok's body was a little more obvious.
Chakotay found that he was enjoying this. "Thank you, Tuvok. You're relieved. Be sure to head down to the mess hall, though. The day is just beginning, and Neelix has plans for the rest of it. I'm sure you'd want to take part."
"Such activities would be, for the wont of a better word, illogical." With a final nod to his superior officer, Tuvok left the bridge with a little more speed then he ordinarily would have evidenced.
Chakotay chuckled as he sorted through the PADDs stacked next to the chair. "How's the compliance on the rest of the ship, Mr. Paris?"
"Looks to be one hundred percent, Commander. Initially, there were a few hold outs, mostly in engineering and in security, but when both Tuvok and Vorik showed up without a complaint, everyone else fell into line."
Chakotay's eyebrows jumped. "Vorik too?"
"According to Neelix, the mess hall has been the scene for some very intense Vulcan meetings. They've been playing Kalto and discussing protocol," Tom said happily.
"Intense?"
Tom shrugged. "For Vulcans, yes. The fact that they discussed it multiple days should say something about their conflicted loyalties. Do they stick with proper protocol, and thereby violate a direct order from their commanding officer, or do they follow orders and break with procedure?"
Chakotay shook his head as he surveyed the rest of the bridge. "Mr. Kim," he said, drawing the attention of the Ops officer, "Did you forget to comb your hair this morning?"
Harry touched his temple. His short dark hair was standing up in all directions, giving him a surprised, confused look. "I thought it worked pretty well with the entire concept, sir."
Tom grinned. "Harry, have I mentioned how unusual your choice was? I can't believe the replicators would even produce anything that ugly."
Harry's eyes widened. "I brought these from home. They're not that bad. Are they?"
"You've kept those for six years? Why? Were they a family heirloom?"
Chakotay broke in, ending the fashion debate. "When does the Captain begin her shift today?" As if he didn't know. Inwardly, he suppressed the flash of glee that came with the thought. This was going to be worth the double shift he had to pull later this week thanks to his own monkeying with the bridge schedule.
There were certain advantages to being in charge of that, and one of them was the ability to catch his commanding officer in an interesting position.
"The Captain's shift doesn't start for another half-hour, sir," Harry said, checking the logs, "But the skeleton Gamma crew noted that she entered her ready room during their shift."
Gamma shift? Mentally, Chakotay counted off the hours. That would have been almost six hours ago. This must be priceless. "Computer, locate Captain Janeway."
"Captain Janeway is in her ready room."
This was going to be good. "Mr. Paris, you have the bridge." Taking two of the PADDs at random, he walked towards the door. He barely heard Tom reply, but he had a feeling that the entire bridge crew was straining to watch what was coming next.
He triggered the chime, and stood back. There was a long pause before Janeway's voice called out, "Come." She did not sound happy.
Grinning in anticipation, he entered the room.
It was empty.
"That had better be you, Chakotay."
The voice came from around the corner. He leaned in, and saw her face poking around the corner from the bathroom. "What were you going to do if it wasn't?"
"Be grateful that you'll never find out," she said. She made no move to come into the main room.
He held out the PADDs, but made sure to keep them just out of her reach. She measured the distance between them with her eyes, and shot him a glare. He grinned. "Come on, Kathryn. You can't spend the entire day hiding in your ready room."
The glare went up a notch. "Hiding? Hiding? Starfleet captains do not hide," she said, her voice sharp. He leaned on the door jab, tapping the PADDs on his upper arm. She stared at them, then conceded, "We tactically withdraw."
Chakotay choked on his laughter. "It can't be that bad, Kathryn. I mean, have you seen what Harry's wearing? Anything is better then that." He crossed the room and sat down on her couch, crossing his legs.
She made no move to follow.
He held up the PADDs temptingly. Her eyes followed them. "I know you, Captain. You've been in here for six hours. Nothing to do. No work to catch up on, no reports to read. I know that you programmed your replicator to only provide food. No reading material. You're going stir crazy, and you can't leave, because there's now a full crew on the bridge," he said, his voice low. "I'm betting that when the door chimed, you actually considered requesting a site to site transport."
"Only for a minute or two," she said with dignity.
He sorted through the PADDs. "Some great astronomical data here," he said, almost to himself. "Maybe I should reread it before I give it to you..."
Chakotay watched her out of the corner of his eye. Her internal struggle played out clearly on her face. He made a small, surprised, "Hmm," noise, and she broke, stepping into the room.
His head snapped up. For a moment, he just sat there, stunned. Then he began to laugh. Small chuckles at first, suppressed behind the hand he clapped over his mouth. He fought to keep himself under control, and he was doing fine until she stopped dead, put her hands on her hips and put the full weight of her glare behind it.
Chakotay lost it. Full, belly laughs pealed forth, and he doubled over. Clutching his stomach, he laughed until the tears poured down his face.
Something bounced off the side of his head. He choked back on his laughter and straightened up. "Temper, temper, Captain," he scolded as he picked up the object that she had thrown at him.
She snatched it from his hand and stalked back to her desk. "Tell me, Chakotay, how did I get into this mess? Was I drunk? Was an alien consciousness controlling me? Please, tell me there was a reason."
"You had just set Neelix's kitchen on fire. He was able to use that small fact to his advantage." Chakotay watched as she sat down and put the slipper back on her foot.
"Yes, but Pajama day? What was I thinking to sign off on this one?"
"You were thinking that it was the easiest way to get out of the guilt. Neelix is very, very good at guilt. When he started going on and on about loosing his favorite spice rack, the one his sister gave him right before she died, not that is was your fault, Captain, and he didn't blame you-"
Janeway waved her hand. "Enough! I remember his speech well enough."
"Be thankful he didn't want something more dangerous from you. Judging by the look on your face when you handed that PADD to him, you would have signed anything just to get out of there."
Seeing the humor in it, she smiled. "Why is it that you still look professional, while I look like a disaster?"
"It could have something to do with the fact that we're wearing the same size," he said dryly. "It's just way they're rolled at the cuffs."
"I know I look like a kid playing dress up! This was the only size the replicators would give me! I tried three times. No matter what I said, and what size I asked for, these were the only ones it kept spitting out." She looked at the purple plaid with an expression of dismay. "If I wasn't so terrified of being seen, I'd wring Tom's neck. I'm sure he's behind this somehow."
"Want me to wring his neck for you?" Chakotay asked with a grin. "It would be my pleasure."
Kathryn stood, and he couldn't help but chuckle. She did look like a kid playing dress up. The pajama top fell to mid thigh, and the pants probably would have covered her feet if she hadn't rolled the cuffs. She either hadn't bothered with the sleeves, or they had come loose, because they covered her hands and she kept pushing them back as she spoke. "And where did you get yours?"
Chakotay looked down at the black p.j.s. "You must be joking. I got mine from the replicator the moment we left the mess hall that day. I wasn't sure when this was going to happen, but I wasn't going to miss it."
Her smile turned wicked. "Oh, so this isn't your usual sleepwear? What do you wear that you can't show the rest of the crew?"
"Maybe I just have the good sense not to share. I'm serious, have you seen what Harry's wearing? They're horrible."
Janeway smiled. "All right, all right. Let's go see."
Chakotay stood and offered her his arm. She took it with a regal inclination of her head. "Look at it this way, Kathryn. If Tuvok can do it, so can you."
"No! Tuvok wore pajamas to bridge duty?"
He raised his eyebrow, Tuvok-style. "Would I lie to you? Of course, you hid in here…" She shot him a mini glare, and he rolled his eyes. "My mistake. You strategically withdrew into a safe zone for so long, you missed him. I'm sure he's back in his quarters by now."
As they approached the door, she looked at him. "Actually, I'm feeling unsafe today, Commander. I suspect that there may be something requiring his attention here on the bridge."
"Really? What would be serious enough to require him to come back on duty?"
"Phaser fire on the bridge. Directed at Mr. Paris. By his possessed superior officer."
"Chakotay to Tuvok…"
End.