title: time to become a cliché

8/24/99

borders café, 4:32 PM

today has been a pretty crummy day. i woke up pretty much on time, a good start. lost a contact lens right off the bat, though, and didn't even realize it for some time. when I did realize it i began searching. found it 8 minutes later, a dry contact-husk stuck to the carpet. i'm wearing it now, so i guess it still works. had two banannas for breakfast and was rewarded not by a feeling of health and fulfillment, but by searing pain in my stomach. it kept on hurting for another three hours. although i left in time for school I didn't make my math class because there was a gigantic traffic jam leading to the school, backed up all the way to the onramp. funny- i saw the director of the humanities dept. of my school, dr. sid adler, in the car next to me. just sitting there, in his silver civic, staring blankly foreward with all the rest of us mortals. since i had no classes until 11:30 at this point i went to go pick up my long-overdue parking permit. they're kind of holographic this (my 10,000th year at jr. college) year, BTW. joke with the lady, show my ID and thats that. returned to my car and was pressured into leaving by a space-hungry and most likely late toyota 4-runner who was waiting on my spot. i went to brian's house and fell asleep on the couch, still feeling terribly from the banannas. didn't wake up until, oops, 11:25, so there goes class #2. Scott and I went to get some foor at Denny's so there went class number 3 as well. and now it's nearly 5 and either guilt or caffeine crash is catching up with me because I feel like burnt-out dogshit. what else do i have to say to the ether? i'm scared, but in a passive, periphial way. i'm starting to think that maybe, to be successful in any fashion, you have to be an asshole. you can't both be good to people and make money off of them, not really. just look at TECK. it is very difficult to look a person in the eye and take money from them. a company, a faceless corporate entity, sure, but not a living, breathing, crying, dying, person. it feels like stealing.i know, i know, i should get off my high horse and join the hustle like anybody else. i know. but let me keep my noble intentions for a few months longer.

 

on the plus side; i'm learning macromedia's dreamweaver.

on the minus side; i'm not paying for it.