Top 30 (or so) Wacky Song Titles

by Tom Minkler

The top 10 of these were submitted to a local radio station (93.1 Arrow93 in Los Angeles) for a contest for the David Letterman Show. The top 10 top 10s were chosen by the radio station and read on the air, then sent to Dave's show, where his writers picked the winner. Boo hoo they didn't pick mine. I thought some of the winners were funny, but of course, none as hilarious as mine. :) The cool thing about the Internet is, no matter how much something you do sucks, you can still share it (ostensibly) with the world.

I'd Leave You Honey, If I Could Just Find The Damn Car Keys
A Song About Fornication
If You Think I'll Take You Back You Must Be Smoking Crack
I Love You More Than Gravel Up My Butt
Boy Band Song #738 (Actual title to be randomly generated later)
Picturing You Naked Is Like Playing "Sink My Battleship"
Dung Keeps Drippin' On My Head
Loneliness Is Better Than You
A Bird In My Hand Beats Two In Your Bush
Please Don't Leave My Gas On
Your Perfume Is As Cheap As A Fish Tank With A Crack In It
Party Pooper
When I Come In Through Your Back Door I Like To Pretend You're Brittney Spears
A Happy Song About Dead Frogs
Life Without You Is Exactly Like Living On Death Row
I Licked Your Dishes Clean And You Put My Love Down The Garbage Disposal
You're My Little Trash Compactor
I Searched For Truth All I Found Was This Lousy T-Shirt
Looking For Love And All I Got Was A Case Of The Clap
The Dream Of The Urinary Incontinent Turtles
Who Let The Frogs Out?
Oops, I Suck
I Love You More Than Being Trampled To Death By A Herd of Rabid Goats
Slim Shady And The Revenge Of The Pissed-Off Homos
Peace, Love And Donuts
I Miss Your Wallet

10. You Left Skidmarks On My Worldwide Pants
9. (I've Got Those) Restraining Order Blues (Again)
8. I'd Love You If You Weren't So Stupid
7. Ode To The Criminally Insane
6. Your Love Is Like Clean Underwear Or A Donkey In Heat
5. Kiss Me, You Inflatable Doll
4. Let Me Go Or I'll Call The Cops
3. You Make Me Crazy Like Dirty Diapers On My Head
2. A Song About Reconstituted Meat Byproducts
1. Your Love Sucks Like A Vacuum Cleaner On Dope