modicum home
Amoebas at the start
Were not complex;
They tore themselves apart
And started Sex.
- Arthur Guiterman

Men and women are not created equal. Duh!
Otherwise we would not be able to plug in and turn on, that is, connect, er, that is, fight over insignificant trivialities, a.k.a. re-decorate each other's minds.

But we have no idea whether most of our differences are due to nature or socialization, do we? 
Probably some of both.

If man were meant to be nude, he would have been born that way. -Oscar Wilde.
Readings | Issues | Links

Sex and Dating

(not necessarily in that order)

I made it! Let me in!

If you love something, forget it, because it's not even gonna like you.  -Tom Minkler

Love is blinder than a deaf bat.  -Tom Minkler

Women: you can't live with 'em; they can't live without you.  -Jeff Wright

Love makes the world go down.  -Tom Minkler

Love is a piano dropped from a four story window (and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time). 
-Ani diFranco

People say that women look at men's bodies just as much as men look at women's. But that's not true. The difference between the way men look at women and the way women look at men is the same as the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing one. 
-Larry Miller

A guy who sees a woman only for her breasts is really the biggest boob of all.  -Jerry Springer

Nice guys are on the grocery list going in but not in the shopping cart coming out.  -F.J. Shark

She: They say men and women have absolutely nothing in common.
He: What are you talking about? 
-Single Slices by Peter Kohlsaat

I finally figured out the difference between being single and married. When you're single, you're exactly as happy as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the apartment. 
-Tom Hertz

Diane: I'd respect your privacy if you weren't so secretive.
Sam: I'd tell you more if you didn't want to know so much.    -Cheers

The "horizontal hokie pokey."   -Cheers

Do you think it's possible there's a third sex out there that's really good at relationships?  -Love Life

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy, she'll beat you if she's able. You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet.   - The Eagles

Love conquers sanity.  -Tom Minkler

A same-sex marriage is better than a no-sex marriage.
-Kevin Nealon

Women look for the one man who can satisfy their every need. Men look for every woman who can satisfy their one need.  -Jeff Stilson

They say men have their sexual peak at 18 years old. I don't remember having a sexual peak at 18.....I remember apologizing a lot though.   -Jeff Stilson

Men aren't capable of being as emotionally sensitive as women, only of pretending. Women have a satellite dish; men have a coat hanger with tin foil wrapped around it. 
-Jeff Stilson

They did a survey to determine who initiates sex in a relationship. They found out that 70% of the time, men initiate sex. The other 30% of the time men beg for it. 
-Saturday Night Live

Fools aren't born, Pongo; beautiful girls just make them in their spare time.  -Disney's 101 Dalmations

What if men bled (had monthly cycles like women)?
There'd be tampon fights!      -Loveline

Sign on Whorehouse:  First served, First come.

Pluto's a dying planet; all the relationships there are platonic.

Banking is like sex. You put it in; when you take it out it loses interest.

It seems to me, sorry seems to be the hardest word. 
  -Elton John

Some girl called me a misogynist. Fuck that bitch! :)

That last one was just a joke, OK?

Anything drugs can do for you, I can do with my tongue.

Before you get married, you have to make sure at least one of you kills bugs.  -Rita Rudner

Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower.
  -Karl Krause

Man does not live by head alone.  -Tom Minkler

Must read:


The reparation of urge and wait

Separate But Unequal
As long as men have to ask for the date and pay and women have to sit and wait for that to happen (or manipulate it into happening), we will never have equality between the sexes. This archaic social custom is an insult to shy boys and outgoing girls everywhere.  Also, will we ever have equality as long as women spend so much of their time and all of their discomfort trying to cover up their natural beauty, wearing heels and straps and girdles just to look better to men.  Not that I'm complaining, but don't complain that we treat you like objects if you are playing along with it.  I think the fact that men have historically had outward "control" of resources and power, has led to women creating their own dominion, that of emotional control, which expresses itself in a subtle manipulative way, rather than an outwardly manipulative way as in men. And not excluding massive stressive passive aggressive behavious all around. We need to remember that our underlying social behaviours affect the outward balance of power in our society.

Nature and Nurture
But nature also provided women with their emotional prowess to enable them to recognize the needs and take care of the children they are blessed to bear. Differences between men and women were all created by God and/or nature, through us, specifically for our need to survive, beginning when we were hunters and gatherers. The book The Clan of The Cave Bear by Jean Auel is incredibly insightful in it's depiction of the origins of our natures.  Including that (some) men are strong and logical for protection and hunting, and (some) women are emotionally aware, to understand the children and keep the tribe or group together. You could ask, why weren't we all created with all of those characteristics? But it is the struggle between the two differing natures which strengthens us.  That is, through struggle there is strength; if it was too easy, we would be weak.  It also keeps the interest level high. Of course these are all generalizations. There are large overlaps, in that you can't really point to any characteristic which is "always" or "only" male or female.  So any attempt to explain it is all bullshit and nothing really matters anyway. :)

Men are designed with a "sharp" sexual desire to ensure the procreation of the species at all costs, even if it's ugly. Women may be designed with a deeper, more "throbbing," longing that is more concerned with the surival of the whole. Even such things as emotional uncertainty during pregnancy might be designed to keep the male more on his toes, more attentive, and so more protective, during that vulnerable time. And sadly, rape during wartime is probably an outgrowth of nature's need to dissipate the genes of weaker groups that end up getting conquered. But as thinking beings we can try to reach beyond our evolutionary restrictions. However, we will probably never be able to entirely shed our aggressive, competitive nature because someday we may need it to protect ourselves against some type of higher life form, like aliens. At least that is what nature has in mind.

(Wo)Man to (Wo)Man

People like to blame all the arguments that couples have on differences between the sexes.  But homosexual couples have just as many fights as heteros.  And when I have platonic roommates, they piss me off too, but I just let it go because frankly, who cares?  It's when you are emotionally attached to someone and spend so much time with them that they start to annoy you that you start to argue and get on each other's nerves. Gary Zukov (author of the book The Seat of The Soul), on the Oprah Show does a great job of describing how we set up unrealistic expectations of another person, and call it love, putting the other person on a pedestal that they can't possibly stay on. And then when we finally realize they aren't that person we idealized, which always happens, we become disillusioned and "fall out of" love, which wasn't ever really love at all.  True love is something you can only grow into with time and work.  Like Clint Black sings, "Love isn't something that we're in; it's something that we do." But there's still that honeymoon, passion-filled esctasy phase, luckily, because otherwise would we put up with each other?

Wo, men

It is pure insanity that God made women so incredibly enticing. I think he must have did it just to torture us. That's why we know that God doesn't have a penis, because if he did he (or she) wouldn't torture us like this by making us so similar to dogs. It was said by a renowned psychiatrist that men fall in love more easily than women. I think we can tell that is true just by comparing the ratio of male to female stalkers. And that is why you (women) can seem so callous about it, because you are more thoughtful, trying to consider the whole picture, while we are only thinking of how nicely you bounce. And that's the other reason we treat you even more like objects than the procreative drive would suggest, that is we have to remain emotionally distant because we can't take it. We have to turn you even more into sex objects because we are emotionally weak and the rejection kicks our ass.  I think this is made even worse by the fact that men are supposed to do the asking, because we have to convince ourselves we like you enough to get up the courage to do the asking, and because of the risk involved, putting ourselves out there and revealing our feelings (or desires) first, we get that cognitive dissonance, which makes it even harder to just treat it casually. And also because we really, really want to have sex with you. Now. It is not our (men) fault that it's how women look that drives us nuts more than anything else. I could go into so much detail but don't even get me started. We can try to reach beyond that but it is not easy. Really, it isn't easy. Did I mention that it isn't easy? I guess you make up for it by making us buy things for you. But then, you make life worth living.

Has anyone ever seen the Saturday Night Live skit called "Stalk Talk" that Christopher Walken was in? Totally hilarious. Don't know if they have SNL scripts online but I'll try to find out. If you know where to get a recording of the skit, please let me know!



To come as soon as possible.

Home | Writing | Politix | Books n' Movies | Mobile | Crime | Quotables | Health | Thoughts | Compooters | Disclaimer
The Muse | The Force | Addicted | Sex and Dating | Good Sport | Abortion? | Mirthy | Linguini | T-Shirts | All About Me | Resume

©MM Tom Minkler
Last updated 12/10/00
Or use the e-mail form.