Washing Washington 1992 (initial draft)

©Mike Johnsen, 1992

Not that I really thought that the election of the Clinton/Gore ticket would really overnightly change the US just the way I wanted - somewhere around 1975 in Mid-Montgomery County Mardyland, where private owned farms linked each other with washboard dirt roads traveled by dusty pickups full of fresh corn. But for no other reason to move in the younger style twins than to rid Washongton, DC of boring stiffs that've been around since 1981. Especially since the prohibition-age law banning brew pubs was finally vanquished from the dusty law books, opening the way to cheap microbrew rivaling the nectar imported from the west coast. Opening up DC to become a really fun place again - like its reputation earlier this century. In fact, Old Dominion has been prospreing, brewed across the river in Northern Virginia - for good reason. A few more coffee shops will bring down the prices of the existing ones, but i couldn't wait and bought my own expresso maker. Although my friend informs me DC doesn't change much with the Democrats (just cheaper suits) , my chances of expanding my well-established group of eccentric and liberal friends increases greatly. So regardless of any ethical or intelligent argument I could make for wanting Clinton to win, my own *special intrest* to having the Democrats roll all over Bush in November.

But not like I was sitting around waiting for someone to come along and say that by electing them to make remote broad based decisions on things like freedom will make my life interesting. I mean, i could always walk to any number of houses in my hood and drop in on a different friend, or do the Adams Morgan bar run, or hit the clubs downtown. Or fly somewhere else and hangout. Actually, that place down the street that recently opened- as recently as the new Metro station opening which vitalized that area of town almost overnight- isn't bad. No micro brew on tap, but the ambient, prices and company make up for it. The CD juke box is the only spinner with Miles Davis's Kind of Blue CD on it, how can you go wrong? for a buck I can chill to Miles for 10 minutes, hip-hop to Tone Loc's cheeba rap, and groove into the latest Brand New Heavies song I'm into. For a couple more bucks I can get a pint of Bass on tap.

Yeah, warm up there, then duck down an alley for those activities not allowed in bars in the US (hey, maybe after Clinton/Gore get elected...) on the way to Fast Alley where, on Friday nights and experimental avant-garde jazz, uh, gang (of 11) jam behind wild dancing women wearing body stockings and fluorescent paint under black light. if you can't follow the music, you can always space out at the always new computer graphics projected onto a screen behind the hoard. And they servvve those new "nutrient drinks" also- phenylalanine & coline which act as jitter-free coffe stimulants along with Old Dominion brew. Blast there until 2, or, if on some stimulant psychedelic, amybe a bit longer.

Not bad for a friday night evven though Washington, DC seems to entomb the Gratefull Dead lyric "Don't tell me this town ain't go no heart, you just have to poke around". Yeah, like maybe with a 10 foot razor edged pole. Constantly out-of-towners that make up most of the transient area complain about the blandness of DC, all of the stiffs walking around with handheld cell-phones, like they really need them (to call home and find out what the kids want on the pizza?), and general lack of personality in DC. Not so, I say, DC's Go-Go sceneis completely unique, the livve-oriented music getting shelved by the music industry to make room for the easier to market sounds of rap and hip-hop. In the early 80's DC's insistant political atmosphere pumped out some of the best hardcore and punk music. And DC has a bunch of colleges with their microcosms.Yet even I feel a difference between DC and say neighbooring Baltimore. Of course, the difference os quite obvious; I just don't see John Walters filming Mondo Trasho in DC, although the Washington Monument could make an interesting center piece....

The fact is, Wahington is an extremely political town- not only in US politics & conspiracy but in individual politics. I think the most common asked question at a party is "so, what do you do [for a living]". Then if a contact cannot be made, or networking is not a possibility, the conversation can quickly switch to the latest Ed Messe embarrasment or other pundit topic of the day, or maybe another conspiracy Bush is running. usually if you're at a non-hill party, a variety of non-profit workers can give you a rap on any topic that desperately needs help these days. And then you can always talk about getting away from DC for the weekend or how beat it is in DC, or maybe who was at what club Thursday night.

I try to avoid those parties.

But I never can. When in the situation of "What do you do [for a livving]" I quickly steer away from that topic with something witty, like I haven't heard "what do you do..." enough times not to have a wide range of creative answers. But if you've been around for awhile, there will be people you hang with, and you already know what their doing [for a living], and you know that their plans for the weekend panned, and that you're sick of all of the clubs on Thursday night anyways. But where does taht leave you? You can always blow a hooter in Bush's back yard (one plus to havving the whiney old man around) then bike to the Einstein statue in front of the ---- building. In fact, one of the better things about Washington is the convenience of mostly flat surfaces to make cycling a more possible transportation alternative. And anyone who's lived in DC for more than a Representative's term kows what a complete and utter nightmare owning a car in DC can be. In fact, parking regulations create such a high form of revenue from being meticulous, strict, and downright unfair, that the mayors from cities in Japan and Eurpose visit DC to learn the relentless methodology of ticketing in DC. I think the ex-Soviet embassy owes millions. I think that's why they split up- now it's impossible to slap those fines on all the now different countries in the CIS.

There's also Rock Creek Park, one of the most pristine urban parks in the world, which runs north/south through the city up into Maryland. On the weekends a few sections of Beach drive, the parkway running down the valley, is closed to car traffic, creating a peaceful oasis filled with cyclists, rollerbladers, joggers, and picnicers. A group has formed trying to shut the park to cars on weekdays as well. A group made up of younger people. It seems that the older generation is so out of touch with their bodies and health they don't understand why someone would work out on a weekday- laborious tasks the doctor recommends should be saved to one weekend a month. I keep trying to blame the older generation for all of the problems we face today, then I turn on MTV and realize not much has changed although the latest poll revealed Clinton in the lead in 86% of the "MTV Generation" youths claiming they vote. Rock Creek Park is great, though, and I think it's actually one of DC's stronger points. I can cycle for hours and not even realize I'm in a city.