Sometimes weeks go by
with the usual flurry
things which have to be done
and suddenly you realize

       that you can't remember
       when you last tried

forced yourself to fill a page
did more than read and nod
at the words of others
and then you start to wonder

       if you still can

whether those muscles atrophy
or were you only self-deluded

       to think you ever could

perhaps you make yourself sit
and write whatever comes
sweating in the empty room
or maybe you just turn back
to the hectic flow of the day
and hope that sometime
a natural upswell will catch you
and bring the words forth

       secretly afraid
       to watch the calendar

        -acm (1/97; 4/98)