"I have almost forgotten how to write longhand.  It is like a piece of 
     old machinery rusting in the corner of a paddock."

                                           -Robert Johnson


I have almost forgotten
how to be unhappy
not simple ups and downs
the missed bus, spilled coffee
but the deep tearing
of something pulled away
or already absent
or not yet found

dwelling on such things is
a painful self-indulgence
I do not even imagine
feathering of a nest:
no winds can threaten me

somewhere there still is
at the back of my mind
like machinery rusting
in the corner of a paddock
a residue of memory of
the brief glare of sunshine
that threatened to ruin
my appreciation of shade

but it recedes ever
with the sound of your voice
and I am very close to
letting them both go
forgetting at last
the unhappiness of dreams

               -acm  (2/99)