How to run a bassoon factory

Name? (This doesn't really matter, but it's always done.)
Age? (If any.)
Sex? (Cross out word not applicable.)
Colour? (If uncertain send photograph.)
Do you play any musical instrument?
Do you play the bassoon?
Why don't you play the bassoon?
Why do you play the bassoon? (Humour is deprecated.)
Have you ever played the bassoon? If so, why did you give up?
Why did they complain?
Do any of your family play the bassoon?
Have any of your family other bad habits?
How, when, and where, do you buy your bassoons?
Have you previously confined yourself to any one make of bassoon? Why?
How do you like your bassoon packed?
Did you find bassoon playing affected your health?
Did you find bassoon playing affect anyone else's health?
Yet, but she had never been strong. Are you sure it was the bassoon?
Are you aware how little a really first-rate bassoon costs?
Would you like to earn money in your spare time?
Do you think bassoons should have moustache shields?
Have you ever known an accident occur through the absence of a moustache shield? Give details.
Are you in favour of Locarno?
Do you know what a bassoon is, anyway?

from: Balchin, Nigel
How to Run a Bassoon Factory; or, Business Explained. (London: H. Hamilton, 1934).