Author: Gibbsgirl
Title: Need
Rating: NC-18
Pairing: Tony/Kate
Disclaimer: Not mine, but I wouldn’t mind if they hired me to play in their sandbox full time!
Author’s Note: Don’t ask me why I did it… It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Thanks, as always, to Mac for being my beta and writing partner.

This originally appeared in my LiveJournal in a slightly different form. This version has been edited and expanded. I hope it’s been made a little better.




As Kate drove away from the hospital, her mind replayed the night as if it were a bad video, the colors too vivid, the sound track off.

She nodded to her partner and watched as he kicked the door in, splinters flying everywhere.

Garish colors greeted her, the reds and browns of blood against the greens of the carpet. The victim was beyond their help, now, her stark white uniform now splattered with crimson.

Kitchen in cheery blues and whites, violated, but empty of life.

Bathroom in sunny yellow, equally empty.

His hand reached for the knob on the hall closet as she stepped toward the bedroom. Something, a noise, made her turn back.

She brought her weapon up just in time. Her partner stood, trapped. Their suspect, one arm around Tony’s throat, redirected his weapon. Pointing it at the base of her partner’s spine, aiming upwards, he voiced his intent to go free.

She stared into Tony’s eyes as murder suspect Harold Fennimore backed them up toward the door. Counting on him to give her an opening.

Fennimore stopped, hip jammed into a table, and glanced to see what he’d hit. Knowing this was his only chance, Tony wrenched free and dove out of the way. Furious, the suspect squeezed down on the trigger just as Kate, seeing her shot, fired off three rounds.

Kate watched as buckshot blossomed in slow motion accompanied by the explosion of a crystal vase. Apparently one of her shots had been a through and through and red stained glass rained down on the two men, cutting them with razor edges.

Kate followed the ambulance to the hospital, telling him to shut the hell up and let the doctors decide if the bleeding was serious. Then she proceeded to pace the ER waiting room, shaking from the excess adrenaline. Hating him for making her worry. Wondering how the morning’s ordinary sarcastic banter had turned into this.

Wondering why she cared so damn much.

Wondering when it had all changed. And realizing, suddenly, that, damn his eyes, it most definitely had.

She shook her head. Nope, not happening, she told herself, quietly but firmly, in the nearly empty room. She turned and paced the length of the floor once again. I’m not falling for DiNozzo.

Turn. Pace. The voice in her head fought back. Then why are you so worried about him?

Because he’s my partner, she insisted, logically.

The one you wear sexy underwear for?

Oh, shut up! she growled at herself.


Thirty minutes later Tony walked out of ER and Kate, having grown tired of pacing, stood up to greet him.

“Let’s go, DiNozzo.” She tried to make the statement as devoid of feeling as she possibly could.

“Kate?” He seemed surprised that she was still there.

“How did you think you were getting home? Your car’s still at the office. Come on.” She turned and walked off with out a backward glance although she badly wanted to know how serious his wounds were.

Which brought her back here, driving away from the hospital, reliving the nightmare. Causing her hands to shake on the steering wheel. The sweat to prickle on her scalp and back.

Goddamn him anyway, for scaring her into these feelings. The ones that made her want to blurt out how much she needed him.

As a partner!

Yeah, right! She snarked back at herself. She swallowed and kept her eyes on the road.

“Kate? You okay?” The quiet concern in his voice was nearly her undoing.

“I should be asking you that, Tony. Are you going to be all right?” Still, she wouldn’t look over at him.

“Yeah. Doctor said it’s mostly superficial cuts from the glass. No buckshot. Shirt’s had it, though,” he said as he looked with disgust at the wad of fabric in his hand. “Good news is I get to keep the scrubs.”

Kate tried to smile at his joke, but there was still too much emotion coursing through her. She wound up merely nodding tightly.

“Hey, Kate, you sure you’re okay?” Oh, if only his voice weren’t so low when he spoke like that, she thought. She gripped the steering wheel tighter in a effort to hide her trembling fingers.

“I’m fine, Tony.” She immediately regretted her angry tone and tried again. “Really, I’m fine. It was just a little unnerving to think I was going to have to explain to Gibbs how I let you get injured, that’s all”

“Mm hm.” His dry response finally earned him a sharp look from her, but he was staring out the side window. He couldn’t know about her own inner turmoil, what tonight’s attack on him had provoked in her. Could he?

They completed the drive in silence, with Kate parking the car in a space not far from his apartment door ten minutes later. As he climbed out of the car, he looked over in surprise when she did the same. His curious gaze kept flicking toward her as she walked side by side with him to his door, but she didn’t say a word and she kept her eyes mostly averted.

Finally, as he fished in his pocket for his keys, she looked at him. His expression was unreadable to her, but then a slow, sexy grin broke across his face.

“Something you need, Kate?” His voice was low and teasing.

Good sense was gone. His voice prompted her inner self to answer, recklessly. “Yeah, DiNozzo. You.”

He blinked in surprise. “Excuse me?”

Rationality returned in rush. Oh, Lord, what had she just done? She swallowed the sudden fear that clawed at her throat. Trying to salvage some of her pride, she tossed her hair back. “I was kidding, Tony. Good night.” She turned to go, but he caught her arm.

“Kate,” he said softly. “Come in for a moment?”

She shook her head as she backed up a step. She wanted to run.

His hand gently tightened on her arm. “Please, Kate.” Slowly she nodded. She needed to stay.

Fidgeting, she watched him unlock his door, then she followed him in, her footsteps hesitant.

She glanced around at the room. It was nice, nicer than she’d expected, but it barely registered with her as he led her over to a comfortable looking couch.

How many women has he seduced on that? She couldn’t stop the thought, then hated herself for it. Dammit, she did not want to be, would not be, another one of his conquests.

“Kate? Sit down for a minute, please?”

She fought against the urge to join him. “Tony, it was a joke, okay? Get some rest. Gibbs is expecting us in the office on time. I’m going to go drop off the car. I’ll ask McGee to pick you up in the morning.” The words tumbled from her, unstoppably. Before she could say anything more, anything she might regret, she clamped her lips together and turned to leave. He was next to her in an instant.

It was too much. In her mind’s eye she’d seen a hole blown through him, mentally watched him die even as she fired the shots that brought the killer down. Alive, next to her now, she wanted to feel him, to reassure herself that he was safe. That they both were. As he reached for her shoulders she reached for him, threading her hands in his hair, dragging him down for a kiss.

No, this was no kiss, this was an assault. Her lips were on his, harsh and demanding. This wasn’t even passion, this was need, raw and unfettered.

It was his turn to hesitate. She knew he didn’t understand. How had this morning’s teasing turned into this? Did she even know? Would she tell him if she did?

He pulled away from her gently and looked at her. His eyes asked the questions. What is going on? What do you want from me?

Suddenly, she had to know the truth. “You knew, didn’t you? That Fennimore was in that closet.” Her voice was hoarse and her eyes searched his face.

He nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said, dragging the word out, clearly uncertain as to what a now-dead killer had to do with what was happening between them.

She nodded. Somehow she’d known. He’d put himself between her and a dangerous suspect. He’d nearly given up his life to protect her. “I thought I was going to lose you today.”

“I knew you had my back.”

“I saw you dead,” she answered back, slowly.

His turn to nod. “Why are we here, Kate?”

“I… Tony, I need you. I need to feel you alive.” Her whispered words weren’t enough to move him. Nor were her hands on his chest, her fingers lightly brushing across the thin scrubs top.

“And will you regret this in the morning, Special Agent Todd? Will I just be a mistake you made?” There was an odd note in his voice and once again she searched his eyes, but he was giving nothing away.

He wanted the truth from her and she was momentarily afraid of the cost to her pride. To admit that she, like legions of women before her, had fallen for the ultimate player, Tony DiNozzo. Breathing deeply, she answered his questions with a shake of her head.

“Walking away from this is the mistake,” she said, softly.

“I understand what you’re feeling right now, Kate. It’s not uncommon. I just need to be sure that it’s more than just the adrenaline talking.”

“The only thing the adrenaline did was make me admit that you got under my skin, Tony. Longer ago that I wanted to believe.”

“Are you sure?” he breathed, lowering his lips to hers.

Her answer was in her kiss, equal parts surrender and possession. She pressed herself against him desperate for his strength. He wrapped his arms around her and she quickly became addicted to the feel of his hands and fingers on her.

Breathless, they broke apart. She rested her head on his shoulder and ran her fingers along the edge of the pocket on his shirt. Her soft words were whispered into his neck. “Make love to me, Tony. I need you tonight”

He gently tipped her chin up and looked deep into her eyes. “This is not a game, Kate. And tonight won’t be just a one-night stand. Are you positive you know what you’re asking?” He slid his hands into her hair, never taking his eyes from hers as he waited for her answer.

Slowly she nodded, hypnotized by his intensity. That small measure of assent was all it took for him to claim her, plundering her mouth with his, demanding her full surrender this time. She sighed as he deepened the kiss, reveling in the opportunity to explore the scent and taste of him.

Without breaking this kiss, he gently swung her around then slowly danced her backward toward his bedroom. The easy sway of his hips as they moved to silent music made her lightheaded as he brushed against her.

Her fingers found the bottom hem of his shirt and she grabbed the sides in her fists and tugged it off as he ducked down. She was greeted by and assortment of gauze bandages scattered about his left side and back.

“God, Tony! Does it hurt?” she whispered softly as her fingers traveled lightly from one white patch to the next.

“Not when you’re gentle.” He captured her fingers and kissed the tips before dropping his head to hers for another deep kiss.

Hands free, she slid her fingers over his chest and through the brown curls that tantalized her every time he wore a v-neck shirt to work.

His hands weren’t idle, either. He’d slipped them under her top, slid them up her sides and now gently caressed her breasts, running his thumb across her nipples. Gasping for air, she broke the kiss and her head fell forward onto his shoulder. God, how she hated her clothing at that moment, especially the beige lace of her favorite bra as it prevented her from feeling his hands on her skin.

He seemed to sense her desire as he quickly discarded her top and unhooked the offending piece of lingerie. However, rather than simply pull it down her arms and toss it aside, he teased his way down her chest until he’d bared her to his fingers; hands cupping the sensitive flesh, thumbs now teasing their rigid peaks directly.

She whimpered and heard his groan in response. Wanting to know the feel of his bare skin on hers, she dropped the bra to the floor and once again reached up and drew him down for a hungry kiss. As their tongues danced in an erotic rhythm, she pressed herself against him, luxuriating in the feel of his muscled chest against her breasts, the soft hair teasing her nipples.

She reached between them, to the waistband of his jeans, and worked the button free, then slid down the zipper. His hands caught hers and whispered against her lips, “Not so fast. Ladies first.”

He proceeded to unfasten her slacks and then slip his hands inside the back of the waistband. As he eased them down, letting them pool at her feet, he discovered the curve of her ass, half covered by beige lace. As his strong hands gripped her and pulled her tight to him she wished briefly that he would look at her, in her lace boyshort underwear. The ones that made her feel sexy.

Carefully she stepped free of the fabric entangling her feet, moving backwards a pace or two. As she stood there clad only in her panties, she looked into his eyes and saw the green fire there. She read the desire in his gaze, but there was something more there, too.

He moved toward her, his arousal obvious, as he said softly, “God, Katie, you’re so beautiful.” He caught her in his arms, pulled her close and whispered into her hair. “I’ve dreamed of this.”

“This is no dream, DiNozzo. I’m real and I want you. I need you.” Her own fierce response into his neck was all it took to spur him to action. He swept the covers back on the bed and tumbled her to the mattress, kissing her all the way. Then he slipped free of her arms long enough to strip off his jeans and shorts, leaving her breathless at the sight of him naked.

She knew his body; they’d sparred and wrestled in the gym often enough. But she’d never known his body like this! In the dim light with him standing naked above her she suddenly shivered in anticipation of learning him in an oh, so intimate way.

He was back beside her in an instant, laying next to her, hands roaming her body as he kissed her neck. As his fingers slipped under the top edge of her panties, he murmured, “Pretty sexy, there, Katie. I like it a lot.”

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she thought of him as she slipped on her lacy underthings every morning. But as he slid the garment from her hips, his fingers teasing her as he did so, she suddenly had other things on her mind. “Mm, Tony,” she moaned softly.

He continued his slow torture, fingers skimming over her dark curls, causing her hips to arch up. At the same time, his lips closed over her nipple, nibbling gently. She moaned again at the feel of him and the ache he provoked in her.

No longer able to take the snail’s pace he set, she took matters into her own hands and pushed him back on the bed. Rolling her self atop him she sat up and straddled him, trapping his hard cock beneath her, her heated flesh imprisoning him securely. This time it was his turn to groan as she leaned forward and brushed his body with her breasts, whispering, “I want you now, Tony.”

“I don’t like to rush, Kate. It isn’t any fun like that,” he said softly, surprising her. Her response was to kiss his chest erotically, dragging her lips along the well muscled surface.

He swallowed hard. “Right. We’re forgetting something.” He nodded toward the night table. “In the drawer.”

Smiling, she leaned over and lifted herself off him to reach into the drawer. Her questing fingers found the small foil squares and she snagged one as he brought his hand to her body, feeling her arousal.

She bit her lip and groaned as he ran his thumb around the sensitive skin, now slippery with her desire. Then she gasped as he unexpectedly thrust a finger inside her and she let out a small whimper as she tightened down on him, letting him know she was more than ready.

“Need it that bad, do you?” he chuckled softly.

“I need you that bad,” she growled back. Taking him in her hand, loving the feel of him, she carefully rolled on the condom before guiding him to the place where his finger was a moment before. She watched him lick her juices from his finger as she sank down onto him and he filled her completely.

“Christ, Tony…” was all she could manage to gasp out. As she fell forward slightly, he grabbed her hips and began thrusting up into her. God, how long had she wanted this? Her body seemed to know, even if her mind didn’t. She began to move with him, catching the rhythm of his body and reciprocating it.

She could feel the climax building. Heat and that insatiable need took over and she found herself reaching down to rub her clit as she rode him harder. She had never wanted anything more in her life, the desperate need to come on him making her whimper as she sought release.

“C’mon, Katie, come for me…” His hoarse cry echoed from somewhere far away as she lost herself in the maelstrom that was her orgasm. Gasping, she pressed downward on him forcing him deeper, trembling with the intensity of the sensation.

“Tony, I… you…” She couldn’t string two coherent words together, but he seemed to sense her meaning.

“Can I roll us over?” At her nod, he gathered her to him and rolled her underneath him, beginning to move inside her again.

She had no words left. All she could do was hum in pure pleasure as he stroked her higher once again. Unconsciously, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, wanting only to deepen his thrusts. She could feel him grow thicker inside her and she whined as she tried to come again with him.

“Go ‘head… touch yourself… ’s okay... think it’s sexy as hell…” he panted out, seeming to know what she needed. And once again her hand dove between them as she rubbed hard on the small bud.

She heard his rough cry as her second climax hit, felt his final quick, hard thrust as he pulled her close. She shuddered around him, reveling in the pulsing heat that was his orgasm, her body milking his. For one moment she didn’t know where she ended and he began.

Slowly he rolled off her and removed the condom, tying it off and discarding it in the small trashcan by the bed. She watched with uncertain eyes, wondering if she should stay or go. When he reached for her, she melted into his arms, happily nestling against him.

As she lay there, head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, she thought about how she let herself fall for a coworker again. How she could break the rules so easily, it seemed.

How she just didn’t have the strength to walk away from this man one more time.

“Tony…” she began softly, not really sure what she wanted to say.

“Yeah?” His voice was low and drowsy.

“Did you mean it? About not being a one-night stand? Dreaming about me?” She drew lazy patterns with her fingers on his chest, pretending the questions meant nothing. In truth, they meant everything to her.

He captured her hand and rolled to face her. “I meant every word, Kate. What about you?”

“This is what I want. This is where I belong. I’m only sorry it took nearly seeing you die to make me realize it.” She dropped her gaze from his, only to have his hand gently lift her chin.

He looked into her eyes as he said quietly, “I’m glad you finally figured it out, Kate. I’ve been waiting a long time.”

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