Interlude, Season One
by ragpants © July 2004

He is pulled from the depths of slumber by the itching feeling he is being watched. He knows it's impossible, but still he feels restive.  He tosses in his bed, rolling from one shoulder to the other in an attempt to reclaim his calm. As he settles, grunting, onto his right side, he notes there is a darker patch amid the dimness of his room. As his eyes adjust, he realizes that the blot outlines a woman.

"Ca..." he begins, but the syllable freezes in his throat. He feels ridiculous addressing her as Captain, when she is in his bedroom in the low hours of night watch, with her hair loose and inviting, the dim starlight pearling her bare shoulder above a peach satin negligee.

 He can't call her Kathryn either. She has never been one to invite familiarity. She prefers being called "Captain" over "Ma'am", or "Sir". And never once in all the months they have served together, even after hours and hours of private and unofficial conversation, has she offered, "Call me Kathryn"

"What's wrong?" he manages at last.

She moves silently to his bed and sits besides him. The mattress bows under her slight weight, reassuring him she is not an illusion or dream.

She leans closer and places her finger against his lips. "Shhhh. Don't talk."

She curls against him. Her head rests on his shoulder while arm curves across chest and her leg is thrown across his hips.

He is embarrassed at how quickly his manhood lifts to throb against her thigh; she is not.

She bisects his body with her fingers: throat, chest, stomach, around the thimble of his navel, then lower tracing the fine line of hair that leads to his penis. She measures the length and breadth of his cock with her fingers, pausing to spread the first sticky drop. Desire erupts through him like a disruptor blast. She is right: there is no need for words. He rolls her under him and makes love to her with his hand, his mouth,, his whole self.

He has wanted her so long and so strongly he cannot remember when his desire first began. Was it their first argument over how to merge their crews? Was it when she saved his life and risked her ship to save him from the Kazon? Was it when her face appeared on the viewscreen ordering him to halt in the name of Starfleet and the Federation? Or was it long ago, so very long ago he can't remember how long now, when he first dreamed of the possibility of someone like her?

He loves her so well, so completely, that he forgets to hold close that central core of himself, that private place he keeps hidden inside. He empties that place for her. He gives her his hopes, his dreams, his deepest fears, his most desperate losses.

She sprawls sated, limp and boneless across his chest. There are no need for words, only rest.

He is roused from sleep by a light touch upon his arm. She is dressed in her nightgown and again sits beside him on the bed. Her hands trace the curve of his jaw and she leans down for a slow kiss. Her hand rests there, cupping his face, her thumb stroking the fullness of his lower lip.

"I have to go," she tells him. She looks away, toward the starlight that slips through the window beside his bed. Her hand remains on his cheek, though, caressing the strong line of his jaw. "I won't be back. I can't. It's too dangerous. I could fall in love with you so easily.  I'm halfway there already. And I can't allow that. The lives and safety of the whole crew depends upon me, upon my judgment. Nothing must risk that." She looks back at him and the grief and regret that he sees in her eyes is echoed in his heart. "I'm sorry."

She gives him another kiss, a final, fatal kiss. And when she leaves she takes with her a piece of his soul.
 

The End


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