Put an End to Perverse Produce!

bob and larry hold hands It has recently come to the Church’s attention that a seemingly innocuous children’s cartoon is in fact shamelessly promoting the gay agenda.  I’m speaking, of course, about VeggieTales .  The central characters of this series, Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato, are lifelong bachelors who revel in each others company and share their most intimate moments together.  Larry, clearly, is nothing more than a humongous green phallus.  Bob, meanwhile, is a tomato, which is in fact not a vegetable at all, but, technically speaking, a fruit!  I guess when they aren't teaching children lessons from the Bible, these two cartoon characters enjoy engaging in unspeakable acts of sexual congress!  By showcasing the happy relationship between this gay cucumber and tomato, VeggieTales cartoons attempt to influence their young audience, planting the seed of homosexuality in the fertile soil of these impressionable pre-school minds.  
larry loves condoms Even more subversive than this ambiguously gay duo is the way the other inhabitants of the VeggieTales universe treat the queer couple.  Not once have Pa Grape, the Asparagus family, or any other cast members attempted to shame, judge, or condemn the cucumber and his tomato lover.  Indeed, not a single denizen of Dinkletown has even made an effort to convert the errant Bob and Larry back into the straight lifestyle.  Sadly, the produce on display in VeggieTales seem to have all gone bad – these hedonistic legumes have embraced Bob and Larry for who they are, instead of chastising and judging them as the Bible clearly tells us to.  Each episode of the show ends with a heavy-handed message, promoting dangerous liberal ideas like charity, tolerance, honesty, and forgiveness.  The show has completely abandoned true FAMILY values such as prejudice, blind faith, and conformity!
veggie gay triangle Because of this homosexual deviance, it is our recommendation that families who care about their children destroy all VeggieTales merchandise, videos, and sippie-cups ASAP.  Every moment your child spends with Bob and Larry, they are being pulled towards an empty adult life of show-tunes and fashion, and steered away from their true destiny of flat-bed trucks and Budweiser from a can.  The recent "outing" of queer icons such as Spongebob and Tinky Winky was only the tip of the iceberg.  From the rampant polygamy of the Smurfs to the unnatural bestiality of Roger Rabbit, the more we delve into the personal lives of these cartoons, the more we find out just how disgusting and depraved they truly are.  Please join us in condemning VeggieTales, and all other cartoons that defile the beauty of normal, heterosexual cartoon-on-cartoon sex.
veggies of the bible bob the tomato in israel larry in a robe
Coming Next Week:  The Boo-Bahs – are they soft on abortion?