John Kerry:
A Beatlist's Dream President
| Throughout the history of human
civilization, politics and religion have made for strange bedfellows. It
is with full understanding of this ignoble tradition that the Temple of Beatlism
now launches headlong into the political arena. We have decided to announce
that John Kerry is the Church's one and only candidate of choice for the
upcoming presidential race. We endorse Kerry not only because he happens
to have the first name John, or because
he says he listens to Abbey Road
all the time, or even for his first-rate choice of photo-ops. No,
Kerry is our choice for president because we believe he has a shot at beating
the incumbent president George W. Bush. For all his talk about being
a religious man, George W. has done precious little to benefit those of us
in the Beatlist faith over the past four years of his administration's reign.
And while we can't hold W directly responsible for the death of a certain
other George during his time in office, it seems clear that this president's
values do not reflect those of any Beatles, Inner or real. If anything,
the current president is a walking embodiment of the Inner Ringo, and yet
he seems to carry himself with a sense of self-importance that would make
Paul McCartney blush - clearly, he is not a man on the road to embeatlement.
Kerry, on the other hand, might just be such a man. So, please
join us in supporting Kerry's bid for the White House. Perhaps he can
be the man to lead this country out of this fractious Inner Yoko mode of war
and paranoia, and into a new era of an Inner George Martin, where collaboration
and harmony are once again a part of our national fabric. Register and
vote, yo! |