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Coleman's Infamous Joke Page

Peruse our Kid Jokes
Laugh at our Blonde Yuks
Look at our latest Knock Knock Jokes
Go to our Parental Fun
Hop on over to our Frog Jokes
Amusing Bumper Stickers
Check out our Politically Incorrect Jokes
Jokes for Gents
Guffaws for Gals
Useless amusing Trivia

Kids Jokes

The following are appropriate for most age groups!

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  1. Q: How does a Momma beetle carry her little baby beetle?
    A: In a baby buggy.
  2. Q: What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam roller?
    A: Flatman and ribbon.
  3. Nathan: "Knock, knock."
    Kaitlyn: "Who's there?"
    Nathan: "Carl."
    Kaitlyn: "Carl, who?"
    Nathan: "Carl get you there faster than a bike!"

Blonde Yuks


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  1. Two blondes were driving to Disneyland when they saw a sign that read, "Disneyland Left" so they turned around and went home.

  2. Two blondes were walking around when they saw some tracks. One blonde says, "They're moose tracks." The other blonde says,"No, they're deer tracks." "No, they're moose tracks!" "Deer tracks!" They kept arguing until the train ran them over.

  3. How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
    She opens the car door.

  4. How can you tell blondes are so bias?
    They keep going, "Buy us this," "Buy us that."

  5. What's the difference between the following two sounds: A punctured balloon and a blonde with a hole in her head?
    None.

  6. What sound does a blonde going through a flashing red light make?
    Screech. Vrrmmm. Screech. Vrmmm.

  7. Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
    So they remember 'Toe Goes in First'

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  8. How do you make a blonde laugh on Sunday?
    You tell her a joke on Thursday!

  9. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
    Gifted!!!

  10. A gorgeous young blonde woman gets sick and tired of men trying to pick her up in bars because she's beautiful, blonde, and so men thought she was easy. One day she decides to show everyone. She goes home and decides to smarten herself up. She decides to learn the capitals of all the fifty states. Week after week she practices until she knows them all. Finally, she is once again ready to go back to the bar. She sits down and after a few seconds a guy comes up to her and starts hitting on her. It is soon evident that he just wants to take her home and have sex with her. The lovely blonde says emphatically, "But I'm not just beautiful! I'm smart too!!" "Yeah, yeah. I believe you," says the young stud. "Now let's go." Again she protests. "No, really I am smart. I know the capitals of all the states." The guy starts walking away, getting sick of her. She follows him. "Really, go ahead ask me a state. I'll give you its capitol and show you how smart I am." Just to get rid of her, the guy says, "Fine. What's the capital of New Mexico?" The breathtaking blonde looks at him proudly and says. "New Mexico has two capitals: 'N' and 'M'."

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  11. How do blonde braincells die?
    Alone.

  12. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
    Pregnant.

  13. What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
    Artificial intelligence.

  14. What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
    An interpreter.

  15. What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
    A mental block.

  16. What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
    Data transfer.

  17. What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
    A wind tunnel.

  18. How does a blonde high-5?
    She smacks herself in the forehead.

  19. What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
    A visitor.

  20. What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
    A know-it-all bitch.

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  21. What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
    Play ball.

  22. Why did the blonde stare at the carton of Orange Juice?
    It said "concentrate."

  23. How do you kill a one armed blonde hanging from a cliff?
    Wave.

  24. What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagen?
    Farfromthinkun.

  25. What's the fastest way to drown a blond?
    Put a scratch-and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

  26. What do you call 10 blonds in a freezer?
    Frosted Flakes.

  27. What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
    Branch Manager.

  28. Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
    So they know if they've had lunch.

  29. Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
    A blond electrician.

  30. What do you call a blond with a high I.Q.?
    A golden retriever.

  31. A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face:
    "Can't you see I'm winning?!"

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  32. A blond woman walks into a store. Curious about a shiny object, she asks, "What is that?" The store clerk responds, "It's a thermos." The blond then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." So she buys one. The next day, she brings it to work with her. Her boss, also a blond, asks, "What is that shiny object?" She replies "It's a thermos." He asks, "What does it do?" She says, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." He then asks, "What do you have in there?"
    "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

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  33. A blonde, who has become very interested in ice fishing, is preparing for her first fishing experience. She has all the gear, tent, bench, pole, bait, ice saw, etc.

    As she walks out onto the ice, she finds a good spot and begins to set up her equipment. Suddenly, a deep, echoing voice says, "THERE ARE NO FISH BELOW THE ICE." Startled, she looks around, but doesn't see anyone.

    She resumes setting up. Again, a deep, echoing voice booms, "THERE ARE NO FISH BELOW THE ICE." Startled and puzzled, the dumb, blonde asks, "Are you God?" With that, the deep, echoing voice says, "NO, I'M THE RINK MANAGER".

  34. A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

    In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along,seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.

    Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

    Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when.....

    ..the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

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  35. A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

    When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

    The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

    "From hunger, you mean?"

    "No, from skipping."

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  36. This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes, and of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

    The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

    He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He rushes over and says, "Gee, are you all right?"

    She slowly nods her head yes.

    "What are you doing?" he asks incredulously.

    "I wanted to prove that not all blonde women are dumb," she started, "and I wanted to do it by painting the house."

    "Well why do you have both a ski jacket and a fur coat on?" he asks dumbfounded.

    "Well," she says, "I was reading the directions on the paint can and it said: For best results, put on two coats."

  37. Two blondes were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching the town of atchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one blonde asked the manager, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are,...very slowly?"

    The manager leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

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  38. There was this blonde who went on vacation deep into the heart of Louisiana. While there, she decided to shop for a pair of alligator boots. She soon discovered that they were too expensive and she decided to catch her own alligator. she rented the equipment and went off to get herself a 'gator. The shop keeper who rented her the equipment was worried and went out to find her. He soon found the blonde up to her waist in swamp water wrestling with an alligator. There were several dead alligators laying on their backs nearby. The blonde threw the alligator onto shore and flipped it over, exclaiming "Darn it! This one isn't wearing boots either!"

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  39. A blonde's house is on fire so she runs outside to use a pay phone to call for help. She gets the 911 operator, and gets transferred to the firehouse.

    "Mr. Fireman, my house is on fire you have to help me!"

    The Fireman replies, "Yes, yes Miss, how do I get to your house?"

    The blonde pauses a moment, and replies, "Umm, it's the house that's on fire."

    Realizing he is now talking to a blonde, the fireman comes back with "No Miss, how would you like me to get to your house?", to which the blonde replies, "Duh, big red truck."

  40. A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige, very soft and warm."

    The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out and yells, "Green side up!"

    The woman is most perplexed but she lets it slide. They wander into the next room. She says, "In the dining room I'd like a light white, not stark, but very bright and airy." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then he goes to the window, leans out, and yells "Green side up"!

    The woman is even more perplexed but still lets it slide. They wander further into the next room. She says, "In the bedroom, I'd like blue. Restful, peaceful, cool blue." The contractor nods, pulls out his pad of paper and writes on it. Then once more he goes to the window, leans out and yells "Green side up"!

    This is too much. The woman has to ask. So she says, "Every time I tell you a color, you write it down, but then you yell out the window 'Green side up.' What on earth does that mean?"

    The contractor shakes his head and says, "I have four blondes laying sod across the street."

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  41. A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

    The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

    He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "Alright. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go check."

    After awhile, the blond returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

Knock Knock Jokes


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  1. Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    AMOS
    Amos who?
    Amos-quito bit me.

  2. Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    ANDY
    Andy who?
    And he bit me again.

  3. Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    DEXTER
    Dexter who?
    (sing) Dexter halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la, etc..

  4. Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    ABBY
    Abby who?
    (sing) Abby birthday to you...etc...

  5. Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Wayne
    Wayne who?
    (Sing)Wayne Wayne go away, Come again another day!

  6. Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Doris
    Doris who?
    Doris locked, that's why I had to knock!

  7. Knock! Knock!
    Who's there?
    Avenue
    Avenue who?
    Avenue heard this one before?

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Scottish Knock Knock Jokes


    1. Knock! Knock!
      Who's there?
      "Lidia"
      "Lidia who?"
      "Lidia teapot!"

    2. Knock! Knock!
      Who's there?
      "Alba"
      "Alba who?"
      "Alba seeing you!"

    3. Knock! Knock!
      Who's there?
      "Thistle"
      "Thistle who?"
      "Thistle be my last knock knock joke!"

    4. Knock! Knock!
      Who's there?
      "Shelby"
      "Shelby who?"
      (sing) "Shelby commin' round the mountain when she comes!"

Parenting Defined


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AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2am, too.

DEFENSE: what you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let de children play outside.

DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.

DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

STOREROOM: the distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

TEMPER TANTRUMS: what you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

THUNDERSTORM: a chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: able to whine in words.

WEAKER SEX: the kind you have after the kids have worn you out.

WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house.

WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."

A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in her cup. Puzzled, she asked, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson answered. "Grandma, it says on TV, the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup."

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They Call it As They See It!

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2 boy kittens & 2 girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom."

Another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot.
She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I KNOW they're my feet."

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

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Kids' Little Instructions on Life

Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, Age 10

When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents. Matthew, Age12

Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching. Andrew, Age 9

Wear a hat when feeding seagulls. Rocky, Age 9

Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning. Stephanie, Age 8

Never try to hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. Rosemary, Age 7

Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower. Lamar, Age 10

Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes. Carrol, Age 9

Never bug a pregnant mom. Nicholas, Age 11

Don't ever be too full for dessert. Kelly, Age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. Heather, Age 16

Never tell your mom her diet's not working. Michael, Age 14

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. Joel, Age12

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. Alyesha, Age 13

Never try to baptize a cat. Laura, Age 13

Never do pranks at a police station. Sam, Age 10

Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving. Rob, Age 10

Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do. Hank, Age 12

Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand. Molly, Age 11

Listen to your brain. It has lots of information. Chelsey, Age 7

Stay away from prunes. Randy, Age 9

Never dare your little brother to paint the family car. Phillip, Age 13

Frog Jokes


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  1. Why are frogs so happy? They eat watever bugs them!
  2. What happens when two frogs collide? They get tongue tied!
  3. How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
  4. Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
  5. What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired? It got toad!!
  6. What's green green green green green? a frog rolling down a hill
  7. What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
  8. Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
  9. Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
  10. How can you tell if a frog doesn't have ears? You yell "Free Flies" and he doesn't come.
  11. How do you confuse a frog? Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
  12. How does a frog confuse you? When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
  13. What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!

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  14. What does a frog say when it sees somethin' great? Toadly awesome!
  15. What do you call a frog with no legs? It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
  16. What do you call a frog with legs? Dinner.
  17. What is a frog's favorite game? Croaket
  18. What did the frog order at McDonald's? French flies and a diet Croak
  19. What does a Romulan frog use for camoflage? A croaking device!
  20. What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over? The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.
  21. What's green and dangerous? A frog with a hand-grenade.
  22. Why did the frog say meow? He was learning a foreign language.
  23. Why did the frog go to the hospital? He needed a "hopperation" !
  24. What is the thirstiest frog in the world? The one who drinks Canada Dry!
  25. What's red and green and goes 175 miles an hour? A frog in a blender.
  26. What do you get if you add milk? Frog nog!
  27. What happens if you drink frog nog? You Croak!
  28. What do ya call a frog's favorite soda? Croaka-Cola!
  29. Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog? To pick the flies out from between his teeth!
  30. What's white on the outside, and green on the inside? A frog sandwich!
  31. "Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?" -"No!... I always walk this way!"
  32. "Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?" -"Yes Sir!" "Then hop on over to the kitchen and get me a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich!"
  33. What do stylish frogs wear? Jumpsuits!
  34. What does a bankrupt frog say? "Baroke, baroke, baroke."
  35. What has more lives that a cat? A frog that goes croak every night.
  36. What's green and jumps? A frog!! (groan!)
  37. Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun? He wanted to robbit.
  38. How can you tell a frog doesn't have ears? They don't move when a car is coming toward them.
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  39. The Independent Princess

    Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, selfassured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

    The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in a castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

    That night, as the princess dined scrumptuously on a lovely plate of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so."

  40. A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving commpanion for an entire week."

    The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.The frog then cried out "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The man said, "Look, I'm a Computer Technician. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

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    YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE THE VOICES ARE TALKING TO ME
    EARTH IS FULL GO HOME
    I HAVE THE BODY OF A GOD........................BUDDHA
    THIS WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY IF IT WEREN'T HAPPENING TO ME
    SO MANY PEDESTRIANS SO LITTLE TIME
    I USED TO BE DISGUSTED NOW I'M JUST AMUSED
    CLEVERLY DISGUISED AS A RESPONSIBLE ADULT
    IF PROGRESS MEANS TO MOVE FORWARD WHAT DOES CONGRESS MEAN?
    IF WE QUIT VOTING WILL THEY ALL GO AWAY?
    POLITICS - FROM THE WORDS "POLY," MEANING "MANY," AND "TICKS," AS IN "SMALL, BLOOD-SUCKING PARASITES"
    THE FACE IS FAMILIAR BUT I CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER MY NAME
    HE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST TOYS...STILL DIES
    EAT RIGHT, EXERCISE, DIE ANYWAY
    ESCHEW OBFUSCATION
    ILLITERATE? WRITE FOR HELP
    HONK IF ANYTHING FALLS OFF
    COVER ME I'M CHANGING LANES
    HE WHO LAUGHS LAST THINKS SLOWEST
    HE WHO HESITATES IS NOT ONLY LOST BUT MILES FROM THE NEXT EXIT
    I REFUSE TO HAVE A BATTLE OF WITS WITH AN UNARMED PERSON
    THIS ISN'T MY IDEA OF A GOOD TIME
    IT'S BEEN LOVELY BUT I HAVE TO SCREAM NOW
    UNIQUELY MALADJUSTED BUT FUN
    I CAN SEE THROUGH YOUR CLOTHES
    THIS BUMPERSTICKER EXPLOITS ILLITERATES
    MINIMUM WAGE FOR POLITICIANS
    VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNALS
    WHERE ARE WE GOING AND WHY AM I IN THIS HANDBASKET?
    I HAVEN'T LOST MY MIND IT'S BACKED UP ON DISK SOMEWHERE
    OH, EVOLVE!
    YOU! OUT OF THE GENE POOL!
    GONE CRAZY BE BACK SHORTLY
    IF YOU'RE NOT OUTRAGED YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION
    I DO WHATEVER MY RICE KRISPIES TELL ME TO
    DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD - UNTIE!

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    Jokes for Gents

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    • For Sale by Owner

      Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
      45 volumes. Excellent condition.
      $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
      Got married last weekend.
      Wife knows everything.

    • How many men does it take to open a beer?
      None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

      Why is the Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
      Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

      Why do women have smaller feet than men?
      So they can stand closer to the sink.

      How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
      When she starts her sentence with "A man once Told me...."

      How do you fix a woman's watch?
      You don't. There's a clock on the oven.

      Why do men pass gas more than a woman?
      Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

      If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course... At least he'll shut up after you let him in.

      What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
      Pregnant.

      I married Miss Right.
      I just didn't know her first name was Always.

      I have not spoken to my wife for 18 months..
      ...I don't like to interrupt her.

      What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
      Divorced.

      Bigamy is having one wife too many....
      Many say monogamy is the same....

      Guffaws for Gals

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    • The Independent Princess

      Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, selfassured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

      The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in a castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

      That night, as the princess dined scrumptuously on a lovely plate of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so."

    Useless, Amusing Trivia

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    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

    Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

    The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for being the animal having the most taste buds.

    A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death.

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