Reported Idiot Sightings

IDIOTS AT WORK
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit 
card.
She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless 
the card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it was 
necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signa-
ture I just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the credit card in 
front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I 
signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call 
the local township administrative office to request the removal of 
the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were 
being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked 
the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce."  He said he
was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTINGS
Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport 
employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without 
your knowledge?"
I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"  He 
smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Idiot Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the 
street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, 
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that 
it signals to blind people when the light is red.  She responded,
appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

Idiot Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this 
is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another 
word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into 
the headlights of an approaching truck.

Idiot Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into 
itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system  
would not turn on.

Idiot Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up 
our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in 
it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working 
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the
passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and 
discovered it was open.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," 
answered the young man.- "I already got that side."

There, now, don't you feel better?