2. Old Yeller - "You spineless
good-for-nothing
no-talent SOB! Can't you see you're making me miserable?"
Also Known As: She-Devil, Sourpuss, The Nag,
My Old Lady
Advantages: Pays attention to you.
Disadvantages: Screeches, Throws frying pans
3. Sickly - "Oh, my head. My
head. My feet. My cramps."
Also Known As: Whiner, Mewler, Grumpy
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious
4. The Boss - "Stand up straight.
Put on a different tie.
Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money.
Don't give me that look."
Also Known As: Whipcracker, Sergeant, Ms.
Know-it-All,
Ball and Chain
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?
5. Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I
just can't decide.
Should I switch my career, goals, home, or hair color?"
Also Known As: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical,
Aw C'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed
6. Wild Woman - "I've got an
idea. Let's get drunk and
make love on the front lawn. I've done it before. It's fun!"
Also Known As: Fast Girl, Freewheeler, Unconscious
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs
7. Huffy - "I see nothing humorous
in those silly cartoons
you keep snickering at."
Also Known As: No Fun, Humorless, Cold Fish,
Iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you.
Disadvantages: You will have no friends.
8. Woman from Mars - "I believe
this interpretive dance
will explain how I feel about our relationship."
Also Known As: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball,
Loony,
Bad News, Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, Unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud.
9. Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly
content with you just
the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend.
I want to make love to you like a crazed weasel."
Also Known As: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout,
Perfection,
The One
Advantages: Funny, Intelligent, Uninhibited
Disadvantages:
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